The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

[Mouseface]

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

Mouse, am willing as many good vibes as I can from oop North today. Biggest hugs. xx

Hope everyone stays safe today too. xx

Wishing everyone a good day, especially Something and Hope who have joined us here :) My overnight bag is packed Ma. Fantastic news about the statement Mouse - they sure made you fight hard for it. Golden I just took a quick look at your blog. STUNNING pictures, you really are an artist - the way you see things is amazing. I'm asking everyone to give me money for Christmas so I can get a decent camera. I see so many things when I'm out walking the dog that I want to capture. Loving the fallen leaves at the moment and the newly bare trees. I love winter :)

Been off antabuse for a week, not had a drink and yesterday was craving-free. I decided to tell myself that I could have a drink after 8pm if I wanted to, knowing full well that I wouldn't (my danger time is 2-6pm) and it seemed to work. Knowing that I wasn't actually denying myself made it much easier and when 8 came around a drink was the last thing on my mind.

mouse and nemo sending you all my best thoughts today xxx

a road trip, woo hoo! I nearly missed the Bus, thought Nemo wasn't going in till tomorrow? Best wishes mouse

lookingforhope - hello and nice to meet you. I just saw your recent post, and my first suggestion for you today is to EAT.

I don't know whether you've heard of HALT? It the acronym for the most common triggers: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. I found that over so many years my automatic response to any of these was to have a drink - feeling hungry, have a drink; feeling angry, have a drink; feeling tired, have a drink. In fact it had become such an automatic response that I couldn't even tell the difference between feeling hungry and feeling like I wanted a drink. Now I try to do 3 things - the first is to try and avoid the situations - so eating regularly, trying not to get over-tired etc; secondly when any of these do happen (and this is real life, so of course they do) then I try to deal with them in a more appropriate way e.g. feeling lonely - phone a friend or come on here, feeling angry - roar and shout, throw some cushions around, go for a stompy walk, or write in my journal about how unfair everything is; and thirdly when I do feel like I want a drink I try all of the above first before giving in. By the time I've had something to eat, gone for a walk, emailed a friend, and had a restful relaxing bath, the feeling of wanting a drink has gone away.

That really surprised me. I used to think that feeling a craving for alcohol was like being hungry, and that it wouldn't go away until I'd satisfied it. But in reality I've found that however intense and horrible it can feel, a craving for alcohol is not like hunger, and amazingly it can pass. So it is often a case of working out what do to with your hands, your brain and your mouth to keep them occupied till you're felling a bit safer.

Mouse thinking of you and Nemo and family for the next few days. Nemo is lucky to have you and your DH as his parents, to bear the anxiety while doing the very best you can for him and his future.

As a long time lurker and very occasional poster - this thread is an inspiration to me to keep on keeping on one day at a time - and the absence of alcohol has been only a positive for me and in turn for all those around me. Best wishes to bus riders new and old.

Hello just checking in and to say I too am thinking about you mouse.

I am realising the importance of this thread to me - I can go about my business and almost deny once again I have a problem. I can find myself thinking of situations where friends around me have been v drunk and dine stupid things and think 'I am normal too'. But a quick look at what I have posted, and others too, brings me back to reality. I feel this thread has broken the cycle of acceptance then back to denial, then increased drinking, then awful guilt and self-loathing then acceptance and so on. What this thread and my posting has done is that whatever else happens, I can't go back to the denial any more.

One day at a time. No booze since sat night for me. Off out for dinner tonight but am driving. So not yet sure whether to have one or none. I am going to try for none - it feels doable.

I hope everyone has good days.

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words of support after my post on Friday. As I've said before, you guys are the only ones that know about my problem with alcohol but I desperately don't want to appear smug, I'm anything but - however, it's nice to be able to tell you lot about the stuff I'm feeling better about. Ta - everso!

Hi to Something, hope and introuble. This is such a great place and even when you don't post, you know it's always here if you need it. If you look back about 30 or so days ago, you will be able to read how hopeless, helpless, guilty and disgusted I felt. This time (I've tried quite a few times before!) I have promised myself that I will keep asking for help - every time I need it. I understand, now, that I can't do it by myself. Good luck to you. x

Well done Mouse on the ed support you've finally got. Someone once said that it's the squeakiest wheel that gets the oil! It's a shame you have to fight so hard for something that appears to be necessary and obvious - but you did it! Hope you and Nemo are OK.

Woke up last night, about 1.30am, in a panic! I was so disappointed that I'd been drinking the night before and got totally trashed - and now I was going to have to start all over again with my 'days. I had let myself down sooo badly. It took me a good 5 minutes to realise that it had been a dream and that I hadn't touched a drop. It's really odd as that was the 4th dream in a row that I had been drinking in. The relief when I wake up and find it's not reality is immense! Maybe my brain is trying to let me have a sneak peek at how I will feel if I do, actually, fall off the bus? I think the sleeping tablets may be causing some of it but I used the last ones last night.

The energy surge carried on on Saturday. I spring (autumn?!) cleaned my whole bedroom! Took nearly all day (4 x peoples clothes totally defeat me!) but I felt so good going to bed in my 'haven of peace'. :) On Sunday I took the children swimming and went in with them. We had a great time! Spent about an hour in the water. I even got about 10 lengths in too. Took them out for a cheapy lunch after that. When we got back, I got the children to help me clear out the boot of the car - a job that's needed doing for weeks! Found a few 'lost' things!! Good day

The fact that my arms ached the next day after the swimming made me think about how unfit I've become so......today I signed up at the gym! I figured that, as I'm saving such a lot of money not buying wine, £30-odd pound a month, spent on making me feel better/healthier, is worth the investment. Bag is already packed to go for a swim tomorrow. After that, it's a session with a personal trainer to see what needs errr......firming up! Eeeek! Lol!

Cravings are getting few and far between - but I'm still on Campral so still not really sure how much is won't will power and how much is meds. Alcohol Services (Chrys) again on Thursday. Not sure what there is left to say but got to go, anyway.

Warm hugs to all the Babes. Green - Boing! Ma Wet fish still handy if required!!

purple what a great weekend! well done you. Not sure about the dreams, they sound like a subconscious reflection of how you would feel if you did fall off the Bus. I guess its good that you get such a strong warning, it will totally put you off. Unpleasant though, especially as you haven't even done anything...

Once again I'm not sleeping, exhausted and fed up. So tired of this. When I get home I'm going to pack DD off to her club and then go to bed. We will have to save Game of Thrones for another night. I bet everyone dies anyway.

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Nemo goes for surgery tomorrow afternoon but we are travelling up later today. I so need to get my arse into gear but thought food would be a great option!

Thank you all so very much from the bottom of my heart for kind thoughts and well wishes for my gorgeous little boy. My best friend sent him a soft, plush Nemo for him, all the way from Euro Disney in time for our journey today!

He's had cards, we've had so many nice messages and although I have wanted to numb the fear swimming around in my head with a few killer shots of vodka, I have non in the house and will not let myself or Nemo down now.

People are so very kind, you Babes are just wonderful and Ma? Can you keep an eye on the thread limit for me please? I'm going to PM you my mobile so that you can let me know when it's getting full.

If I can't do it, would you please do the next one for me Ma? No real reason I'm asking you, (don't be getting silly idea's that you;re my favourite or nowt ) it's just that you're in charge of the day trip to see Nemo so thought you could take the reins for me if need be?

Or venus if Ma isn't around, I know you've sorted the links to threads for us all in the past

Thank you all, if anyone wants me to let them know how Nemo is, they can PM me their mobile so I can text for you to put an update on the thread maybe? Just in case I can't get access to WiFi.

Lots of love,

Mouse

Thanks Joey. I think you are right about the subconscious thing.

Sorry about your lack of sleep. It's only because I've had sleeping tablets for the past 30-something days that I've been able to have a good night. Not looking forward to tonight as it's my first without the meds. The Dr wasn't all that keen to let me have another 2 weeks supply after the first two weeks she prescribed so I know she won't give me any more - and - to be honest, I'm not that comfortable about having any more anyway - just not looking forward to not being able to sleep tonight. Good luck for tonight, anyway.

Hello Babes - Mouse you ARE the ultimate brave babe - thinking of Nemo and praying all is well. New babes you are all doing amazingly! Well I've just got back from the shop with my new PJS as I absolutely have to get on the bus tonight - I feel hopeless just now and need to boost my confidence with just ONE day not drinking. I've some work to do this evening then bath then holed up in my bedroom again. HALT so true except for me I'd swap the anger for anxiety - tiredness is the worst for me though - won't be helped tonight by the fact I was up at 5:30am! xx

Greeny - I'll be thinking of you in your new PJs tonight and sending you tonnes of strength. If I can do it, so can YOU!! Come on Babe, let's do it together.

Right, I am shutting my netbook down now.

Saf - I hope you're okay, and that your first couple of days are okay so far.

To all of those who haven't posted in a while...... please pop in and say hi even if life is tough and you're drinking again, more than before, or not. Whatever, just come say hi xx

I love your positive posts purple
Another wasted day here. Tooth gap still sore and v low energy. It's ok when I'm working, but I just crash on my days off. Grrrr

nice pjs purple
Right you lot, we're off up the motorway so we can be there in good time for mouse and nemo.

We have lots of food and hot chocolate, and a selection of DVDs to while away the time. Whenever mouse looks out of the hospital window we shall appear as a shimmering mirage, Gerald, side-car and roof rack.
wails I don't know how to do the linky thing to a new thread!! Oh, the pressure......venus do you know?

oops wrong colour...nice pjs greeny

Ma - just do a new thread and venus will put the links in for you, I'm sure. As long as there's a thread, all will be well xxxx

Annnnd wasss wrong with MY pj's, ma?

Yes, Mouse what Kotinka ^ says. x

at purple
Ok, I will do the new thread - hope I dont screw it up

can I map-read? pleeeeease?