The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

[Mouseface]

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

ma how's the head/throat/everything from the neck up...?

Hey alias throat ok, still having major problems with neuralgia in head though. Think might try acupuncture if it doesn't shift soon

Ma - sorry that you are still suffering, neuralgia SUCKS! Acupuncture may well be the way forward..... is it worth going back to the GP?

Saf - if you are reading this, I hope you're having a nice celebratory weekend, and that tomorrow goes well for your first day in your new job. xx

I've cut Nemo's hair and my God it's fecking tragic. I'm going to have to wait until he is asleep and have another go. He refused to sit still after the first side so one side is okay, the other not so. I wanted to tidy him up a bit....... NOTE TO SELF > Stop trying to make everything 'okay'. What will be will be and we'll deal with life as it happens. Hair cut or no hair cut, he's still uber gorgeous in his turtle PJs, teddies all around him having his tube feed watching Shaun the Sheep on DVD.

Something - how are you holding up? I hope that you know you can post about anything here........ we all do, well, maybe just me but alcohol is a part of all of our lives, whether it's past, present or potentially in the future again.

It's always great to have new Babes aboard.

Hello Sarah, love the NC xx

Something until you are sure you want to go out socialising, it might be better to cancel some outings. If your friends will be disappointed that you're not drinking, they may not be the good friends you think they are. You have to do what's best for you and your real friends will accept that and support you.

So, not drinking when out - some excuses you can use are that you're driving (as you've done already), you're on a diet, you're on antibiotics, you've got a headache and alcohol will dehydrate you, you've got to be up early in the morning, you're detoxing for health. Any of these will usually be accepted without question.

Saf hope it all goes well for you tomorrow. I can't believe how quickly it's come round to Day 1. How exciting! x

Hello Faire - long time no speak.... I feel really out of touch here at the moment. How are you?

Something - great suggestions up there as to why you can't/aren't/don't want to drink but something I did at the start of stopping, was drink cranberry juice on it's own as my favourite tipple was vodka and cranberry so everyone assumed that I was still having the same.

I never got into rounds saying that money was tight or I was only having one or two drinks etc......... if you plan your night, it will come to fruition, in time.

Just catching up babes - weekend well and truly in the sidecar - Mouse the fact you are dealing without this without a drink is amazing - Nemo has the best mum in the world - thinking of you - Purple Please keep posting the positive stuff it is nudging me in the right direction thank you - well done girl

Thank you everyone. I feel as if I have come crashing into a group of established friends talking about your important issues and big things in your lives...I have literally interrupted the conversation and you have done nothing but welcome me. I am extremely grateful. I know, as I suppose all you do, these steps are so very very tentative that it doesn't take much to think 'oh forget it then' - this thread is already making it quite difficult for me to do that!

I have been reading the first ever thread this evening as well. Very powerful. Particularly the poster who struggled with AA because other people's stories made her feel 'actually I am Ok because I am not that bad'. I have done a lot of 'I don't drink spirits and I don't drink in the mornings therefore I am Ok'. The key I am beginning to realise, is that I don't always (often/usually) have control therefore I am not Ok. I read in that thread (or maybe this, I have been reading this too) that alcoholism is a train just with people having got off at different stops. Bt it is the same train. (as I type this I have had a lightbulb moment that this is perhaps the point of the bus analogy!?).

Some extremely helpful thoughts, thank you. I think perhaps cancelling social engagements for the time being is the right thing to do. Particularly those billed as 'piss-ups' where there will nit be many people. It is not really the coming up with excuses - my friends all know I have young DC who sleep badly, I have been trying to do weight watchers for many months, plus many know about my anxiety - all good reasons for them (and me, FFS) to not question my non-drinking. It is more about how I face it, prepare for it and manage it while I am there. Pregnancy did make me realise I could have fun with booze, but I found it extremely hard to never ever escape myself. It was that escape that I longed for and know I will miss.

So, a few steps at a time. No drinking today and it has been relatively easy, despite the roast. I have eaten a lot (but I love the 'worry about it in the order it will kill you' advice!). Until about 6 months ago I couldn't not tell you the last day I had not had at least one drink, bar being pregnant. In, if I am honest, the last 15 years. Bt I have made significant progress in breaking that cycle - but a) that as been slowly creeping back (until today it has been 2 weeks of drinking every day, even a small amount but nevertheless every day) and b) I have been bingeing to the same extent - out with friends but also alone. So I have made some progress, but I nevertheless am not able to control it.

I categorically know my life without alcohol will be happier than my life with. The guilt I have with my drinking is awful and the effects in my mental health are becoming quite debilitating. I loathe myself as a person, but most of all as a mother (a direct result, no doubt of my own mother's alcoholism) with the level of drinking I have now. I feel it is for me to break the cycle and set my children free of the grip that alcohol can have on life and happiness.

So. On and up. I have to acknowledge these feelings are relatively new. When I s pregnant with DC1 I was desperate to get boozing again. I remember saying to a friend how bloody glad I was that i was only pregnant, and not someone who had to give up for life. Now, I desperately want to be that person. I also remember only 6 months or so ago that I said to someone I know at some point much further down the line that I would probably give up alcohol for good. Somehow that much further down the line has become 'now" in quite a short space of time. So all this is good. But I also hear your very sound advice not to worry about the goals I should be aiming for. I am impatient (very much so) and part of me thinks but I am ready! I will quite for good right this second! But I also accept that it is a process, and I mustnt f@ck it uo with my impatience, which in turns leads me to an 'all or nothing' reaction.

dH hovering for bed s I must go. But thank you thank you thank you.

welcome something sounds like you have reached a turning point and have some good insight - I'm note even in the bus at the moment and don't have wise word except - One Day at a Time that seems to be the key - just commit to not drinking today and don't think about tomorrow, next week, Christmas, forever etc - they will take care of themselves just don't drink for today - your drinking and feelings about it sounds quite similar to mine wish you all the luck in the world and really interested to hear how you go on.x

wow, I passed on some advice and someone said it was useful! I feel absurbdly proud that I 'helped', if only I could help myself... ha, ha

something you haven't crashed a group of friends, you have joined us.some of us are newbies too, and others have been here forever
I remember well my first post and feeling awkward about joining an established group but its really not like that. People come and people go and people give what they can and take what they need.we are all in them same boat bus.

Thank you Greeny xx

Something - yes, we're a group of 'friends' I suppose who all get together every day or other day, or week, month etc and have a good old moan about life!

But the one thing that keeps us coming back, however often or not is alcohol. Life is shit. Life is hard, sober or not it really can be shit, so having this Bus is my way of waffling on about how scared I am for my son, worried about my own pain levels over the next few days..... knowing that I may lose my son due to complications as before, knowing that I may have to 'make that call' when asked...... knowing that I may not.

Giving consent to another human being to take care of my precious boy is hard BUT I have to do this for him to move forward.

A man I have met twice is going to try to fix him. And I, as a mother, have to put all of my faith, my heart and my soul into this man's hands and let him at least try to give our son a better quality of life.

And now, I am going to STFU as you guys MUST be sick of me by now and it's only Sunday!!!

Thank you all for your kind words, the next day or so will drive you mad so please feel free to ignore me..... it's just how I get it out in black and white so that DH and I don't go mad.

Last night he actually had a go at me for having the wrong TV channel on even though he wasn't in the room!?

Strange how fear can release a part of you that you didn't know you had inside you.

Stay strong Babes, I'm going to take my laptop with me so I can log on if that's okay and update you all?

I love this Bus. I love that we can dip in and out and always be welcome. Everyone can be on this Bus, well, unless you're Dave Cameron, then you can fuck the fuck off quite frankly.

Night all.

Something - take your time, find your path, find what suits you lovely xx

Thurso - are you out there? Obrigada? Silver? Saf? IsinDe? and venus? xx

Welcome something. How's everyone this morning? Mouse how's Nemo?
Still really grotty here with tooth.
But I'm seeing a lovely friend later, and just plodding on.

another Monday morning. Had some wine last night - thats my lot for another week. I think its getting easier, but feel I must watch out and not become complacent and let it slip.

What is it at the moment with everyone's teeth ??

As you say helpyourself, just plodding on...

Morning all. Got through the weekend without giving into my cravings, feel really proud! I'm not taking antabuse at the moment because I'm beginning to think it was just a crutch and when the crutch was taken away I found I hadn't actually got any better. So trying to do it without. We'll see....

And that's the thing Something, we try things to see if they'll work and if they don't we try something else. The process can be long and most certainly not linear, but it doesn't mean we're not headed in the right direction. And a {{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}} to you Mouse and hope you're feeling OK.

Hi,
Can I crash in here too?
I have followed Something from your original post - and I am drinking too much wine too.
I can do some nights without, and have a couple of glasses another night - but that is all an effort. Moderate drinking is an effort for me.
I have a wonderful DH, 2 lovely sons - but I feel I have this monkey on my back and I want to relate to like minded women.
I have gone to AA and found lovely people but they talked about such an abyss from drinking, I found it hard to relate.
I have namechanged for this post but I would like to hang about if that is OK (I am ashamed of my drinking even to my friends on MN)

introuble welcome to the bus. don't feel shame, it wont help. Feel proud that you have made that first post and climbed aboard. You are among friends here and no one judges. Strap yourself in for the journey. someone will be along soon to take your lunch order.....
indie yo! how's life?
koti I was thinking about rural this morning. Anyone know if she's ok?

Hello all. I have had a bi of time to read some more of this thread. First, mouse, I am sorry for all you are going through with nemo. What a terribly anxious time for you.

There is so much on this thread that strikes a chord, that I think YES! Thats me! Which is of huge comfort. The other very helpful thing that has struck me is this sense of worry about tomorrow, tomorrow, rather than trying to plan every single possible social occasion and how I will manage it now. This is nit how I have been approaching it until now - but it does feel a relief to not have to worry about it until I get there.

Hello introuble2 - it is nice to know we are not alone :)

The other thing that has made me feel relieved today is seeing the thread in Active Convos called 'is my DH an alcoholic'. I have not looked at it, but for a year or so now a thread title like that would make my blood run cold. I would either ignore it but hate the way seeing it made me feel, or I would click it, read it and think 'yup me too, yup same, yes I do that too' as the OP describes behaviour and then see a load if replies telling the oP that indeed the person she is talking about is an alcoholic. Today when i see that thread title I feel relief that I am now beyond that first stage and I do accept what I have for so long denied. It IS the first step, I feel that very strongly now in a way I thought that was a bit cliched before.

On and up. I hope you all have good days.

Hi introuble2, hop on board. I have just jumped back on to reduce the temptation of backsliding in the silly season, when I first joined (a year ago) I had got into the bad habit of regular weekday white wine. Now it's cut back to weekends- for me it was more habit and boredom than anything else. Oddly since cutting back I have mentioned it to quite a few of my friends and many people fall into a similar pattern - I guess consistently with surveys on middle class drinking. As a start do you want to join some of us on the no weekday drinking thing - or do you have something else in mind?

mouse if DH is annoying you, I could...well....occupy him for a while?

Thanks legal. I have tried to drink less and failed. Ideally I would love to only drink at weekend... Yes i would definitely sign up for that

I can relate to habit/boredom. I hardly drank when tv on blink but I hate to think of lovely meal with no wine