Hat wars and soup-er dates, let the sausage see the roll... The Online Dating Thread reaches 25!

[Yogagirl17]

Erm...hope nobody minds?

Oh snape :(

I can only send virtual hugs but they are big and enveloping

You will indeed get a mahoooooooooooosive hug if we can arrange it. I'll message you on fb

Maybe when he digests it....

... But we can't live our life on maybes.

Fuck.

Fucking fuckity fuck.

So sorry Snape (((((giant squishy hugs)))))

Oh bollocks.

Snape I'm not sure I could feel much more disappointed if it had happened to me. I honestly believed PM would come through.

:( many virtual squishy (((()))) type things.

As I am only down the road (and its payday tomorrow!) can I buy you a big cake alternatively lots of gin at the weekend? It won't make up for it but may act as a temporary distraction....

Oh God, sorry to hear that. I suppose there is a chance he will change his mind once it sinks in in the next few days? But as you say you cannot live life on maybe's.

I think it was very brave of you to do it (I'm not sure that I would have had the guts - actually I am pretty sure I wouldn't!). It must be gut-wrenching for you right now though.

I hope if it is not to be that you manage to meet someone really nice in the end. I don't think I could be around someone as a friend if I was in love with them as I think it would drive me crazy.

Anyway I am rambling as it is late but I had hopes he might reciprocate. Hugs from me as well.

So very sorry Snape, I've been lurking for ages and I so hoped it would work out, your notebook was just beautiful.

Hugs, hugs and more hugs

Oh Snape...that stinks. There's something so not quite right about a guy who is so close to a woman but never sees what is in her heart. He can't not have known, not after all the time you have been friends. And the kiss, if there was something there then you can bet he felt it too.

I had a male friend like this once, always chasing me when i wasn't available and backing off as soon as I was, I think he loved me as much as I did him, (actually I know he did, cause he told me days before I walked down the alter with DH, tosser!) but could never get the guts about him to commit to that feeling at a time when it could have translated into a grown up relationship. Men like this are just running scared from themselves their whole lives, it sucks, for you a whole lot more than him because you ARE so lovely and capable of such love. He's an idiot. But then you know that already. Doesn't change anything though does it?

I'm sending you the biggest possible un MN-y hug.

And I'm sitting here too thinking perhaps when he reads it, thinks about it properly, is honest with himself? Perhaps after that kiss he can't deny it to himself? Maybe after a week or two apart when he realises the huge gaping hole that can only be filled by Snape? I hope so, I really do...

De-lurking for some virtual hand-holding too, Snape

Snape - the notebook is a big thing. Give him time to process things and sort out what he thinks/feels about it and you. I am sorry he didn't respond as you would have hoped but I do think men back off and sort things out in their heads then you will know where you are with him. Hugs from me too.

Oh shit, fuck & buggerit ... so sorry snape and agree that you're wise not to live on maybes any more. Many virtual hugs, shoulder to cry on & tissues coming from here too.

Snape, I'm here with a hand to hold and a hug, too. You did what you wanted to do, so whatever the outcome, it was the right thing. I'm really sorry you didn't get the reaction you were hoping for, but at least you have it out there now, so you can move forward knowing you were true to your heart. PM loves you, maybe not in the way you were hoping right now, but it's a love much deeper and stronger than any feelings he's dredged up about an old flame. It's little consolation, I know.

ok well now we're all depressed.

But I did mail the girl who went silent after a second date, when she'd been all enthusiastic about the third, then cancelled, then didn't respond to my follow up text - I just mailed her to ask if I'd done anything overtly wrong so I can maybe not make the same mistake in future, and to wish her luck, and it was a shame as I thought there was chemistry there.

Seems partially like rubbing her nose in me being the bigger person here, and partially hoping there's been some mixup. And partly because I want to know if belching loudly on a date then blaming the waitress is seen in some circles as some kind of faux pas.

That was a joke by the way.

Also, ScienceGirl responded to my follow up text after our first coffee date today to say she'd had a lovely time too, sorry she hadn't responded earlier today, but her father had just had a heart attack.Which is kind of a good excuse. Apparently he's doing okay now though, possibly not a real one.

Snape I'm coming late to this but I'm sadly not surprised at his reaction. He does seem extraordinarily dense, and unless he has the emotional depth to understand what is in that notebook, he won't "get" the enormity and outright beauty of what you've done.
I really like IV's post about people who can't commit, because it's pretty much saying what I am trying to.
You are ready to give your heart to this man, and if he can't see that, and reciprocate in kind, he's literally not worthy of you, because you will always give more than you get.

I just spent 90 mins on the phone to Mr nice and Normal, and we're discussing how we're going to introduce our kids, and he said, after discussing not being on any dating sites "You're my girlfriend, MO" and I just melted, not least because he used my name.
This is how it should be. No angst, no second guessing. I'm not saying it's going to be perfect but no-one's hiding anything or playing games and there's a lovely absence of fear.

This was what I wanted. This is what I deserve. For my feelings to be reciprocated, and for it to feel "right"

That's what we all deserve, isn't it? To be respected, valued, appreciated as the stunning, unique creatures we are. If he's not capable of giving you that, then the person who IS will make you look back and wonder why you bothered.

Really hope I'm not coming across badly. Please shout at me if I am.

I agree MO, the unrequited love thing is a bit bollocks to be honest. I've been there, and I've also been on the unintended receiving end of it. Snape did the right thing, and maybe it'll work out if he can get his head around it and work out he needs to commit to keep someone so valuable in his life. If he can't or won't do that, then she's better off without him, as she deserves someone who sees how frankly awesome she is.

MO, so pleased for you. It is what everyone deserves, I'm glad it turned up for you. :)

madame how lovely, that makes me feel all glowy!

Maybe one day we will all get that :) I fear unlikely in my case

snape - i dont know what to say. im incrediably sorry. So - he understood what it was saying, but doesnt feel the same - im suposing you spoke about it, seeing as you said he said you could get through it? I think, like madame says, you deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them. You really do. He also cant ' get ' you as much as you think, else he would be falling at your feet over what you have done, and the wonderful way you have done it. I would be in tears i think, had someone done that for me. I know you are probably feeling utterly wretched right now, and nothing any of us say is probably going to change that....but, think of yourself right now. put yourself first. Think about what you want and its ok for pm to say you will work it out, but its not him with the feelings, him thats been crushed, is it. ( or him thats got to sit by while he goes on about tramps new girls. ) sorry if that sounds harsh, but that is the truth. Think about you.
I wish there was something i could do, i really do.

snape I'm so sorry

Can we have his address and we will kill him?

Even If it doesn't work out how you wanted I think you are so massively brave for doing it and at least he knows! This relationship was very difficult for you as you were always left not knowing!

The notebook is beautiful and you are amazing for making it! I hope your ok today xxxxxx

Sorry things are not working out for some people. I too have had relationships with Unavailable Men. Even when we were in a commited relationship, part of them was unavailable, and it didn't work out in the end.
Libby and those peeps on Match. Do you get the same people looking at your profile over and over again, but not making contact? Do they have no system for making sure they do not look at profiles they have already presumably discarded? One of them I blocked, and he is still looking at my profil almost daily, the Knob!

Snape, it's shit...it's really shit. The notebook was more than exquisite, it was your heart and soul. As watch has said, if he can't see that he's not for you. If you gave me that, even as a friend only I would treasure it, broadcast it, and I would be so profoundly moved by the act alone.
Snape, move on as quick as you can. Leave him behind. He knows how you feel and he should at least respect and be prepared to discuss this, at length, on your time scale and terms. We will work this out means 'I will carry on as I do normally' IMO.
Radio silence....cake with sponge on payday...all will be ok. We will be here. You are strong and brave.
How's the job and home situation?

Meme O...lovely news. It's just sounds good.

Western...sponge is correct about the smuggery. However I have known men to declare the 'I am nervous' crap when they want to abstain from responsibility. I'd ignore the 'I am nervous' ...his emotions are not your burden. Not at this stage anyway. That's like sending a text saying 'I am angry, or I am annoyed without an explanation. Ugh.

Watch. Do you like your new job? Tights for me. I can't stand the look of my legs unless they are sucked in with Lycra.

Hi to everyone.