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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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8 replies

tinachambers · 21/10/2012 06:02

My partner of ten years and father of my three children walked out on tuesday night!Told me he does not love me anymore and he has had enought of our life together. On a pratical level with the children im just carrying on but emotional i am crumbling, i have no rl support, can anyone offer some advice. Thank you

OP posts:
wonderfultykes · 21/10/2012 06:34

I am so sorry, what a horrifically hard time. You are doing brilliantly, one day at a time. Draw strength from the bond with your DCs. Could do a 'stress map': draw a circle with you in the centre, then block arrows pointing outwards, labelled one for every thing you're worried about, the thickness of it depending on how much it's frightening you. Sometimes helps to put it on paper, and makes you realise all that's going on in your head. there must be support agencies, other MN may be able to offer advice. Good luck

tinachambers · 21/10/2012 06:47

Thank you, just feel very lost and trying to work out how he could do this to us.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/10/2012 10:05

You've got my sympathy. You've had a terrible shock with this news that was presumably out of the blue and it's going to take you some time to acclimatise. You're very lucky you have the children because 'just carrying on' is actually the best thing to do. Every day you complete is a one day closer to feeling better, even if it doesn't feel that way at the moment. Be kind to yourself, get as much rest as possible, cry when you need to, take time off work if you work. If you're really, really struggling consider seeing your GP. Feeling lost is not the same as being clinically depressed but there may be something they can suggest.

You say you have no RL support. Do you have family you could talk to? Other mums that you know through the children? Or are you trying to keep the lid on this and not tell anyone because you think he may come back? Sorry this has happened to you.

tinachambers · 21/10/2012 11:30

Thank you cogito, my family live miles away from me, i do have friends but i feel like i cannot turn to them, we relocated a few years back and the friendships are in the early stages, ive have really struggled these past couple of years with mild depression due to the relocation, i guess im hoping he will come back .

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myroomisatip · 21/10/2012 11:48

I am so sorry, it must be an awful shock. Do you think there could be another woman?

I am sure you will get lots of practical advice and support here, especially with regards to getting legal advice.

tinachambers · 21/10/2012 11:52

I asked him if there was another woman but he said no to be honest i doubt he would tell me even if there was, he has had enought of the pressure of the children and me!

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Looksgoodingravy · 21/10/2012 11:54

Where's he staying? Have you had contact since he walked and do you suspect there may be another woman?

So sorry for you, this must be so difficult right now.

You do need rl support, I would talk to your family at least, put them in the picture, you will need emotional support right now.

Looksgoodingravy · 21/10/2012 11:56

Sorry x post!

Has he seemed distant lately?

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