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Original poster

Mumsnetters view on this one please........My friend & her Affair???

60 replies

SomethingAboutMary · 27/03/2006 13:28

Ok my friend has just poped in & we started talking about her fella!

Bit of background first she split from her hubby of 7 years about 1 year ago, she has 2 kids, she is 25 & she nows lives on her own with her kids & is divorced.

Anyway she has been seeing a married man for about 6 months, he has a wife but no children & she sees him a couple of times a week, they text & talk through most days, he takes her out for dinner, buyts her stuff & takes her & her kids out places like london, the zoo etc.

They have a sexual relationship but they are not like boyfriend & girlfriend as such, she does not want him to move in etc etc & is quite happy seeing him couple of times a week & having sex etc, & he has sais he will never leave his wife!

I just said to her that to me he is having his cake & eating it & loving his life with 2 women (one his wife & one his mistree), she lets him do this & is not bothered at all she is very happy with the way it all is. I said he can not have any respect for either of them & that my friend probably has no respect for herself because why is she letting this man do this.

Do you think this is right? do you think she will get hurt in the end?

I know its probably just male company for her & also sex but this has got to affect her in the long run? what do you think?

OP posts:
cece · 27/03/2006 13:31

I agree and while she is involved with him she is not likely to meet a more suitable candidate is she?

On the ohter hand if she is happy and it is convenient for her then..... But it will end in tears...

kipper22 · 27/03/2006 13:31

your friend and her man may well be happy with the situation but what about the feelings of the wife?

Senoracod · 27/03/2006 13:31

bet she starts staying in waitign for himt o pop around
whats his addess?
ill ring his wife

desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/03/2006 13:32

it will end in tears like cece says

jenniferjuniper · 27/03/2006 13:34

it will end in tears and both she and her kids are going to end up getting hurt .

lockets · 27/03/2006 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 27/03/2006 13:36

It's wrong.

robin3 · 27/03/2006 13:37

God this is a hard one I think. I had a friend in a simliar situation and I always felt bad pointing out the futility of it all and I avoided pointing out the morality of it all.

She's going to have to find out the hard way I'm afraid. Of course he doesn't want to loose his wife and family - and as long as she's around and making it easy he won't have to.

Feistybird · 27/03/2006 13:38

Your friend is choosing to operate like this
Ditto the husband.

Poor wife.

Feistybird · 27/03/2006 13:38

oops xposts with lockets.

Auntymandy · 27/03/2006 13:38

Its terrible from the wives point of view, but from your friends point, it suits her so whats the ahrm. His wife probably knows anyway!

Hulababy · 27/03/2006 13:39

Not fair on his wife.

Not sure it is particuarly fair on her children either; must be at least a bit confusing for them.

Senoracod · 27/03/2006 13:39

let me ring

let me ring

desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/03/2006 13:40

lockets he may end up hurt
if his wife is like lorena bobbitt
and rightly so

fairyjay · 27/03/2006 13:40

I do feel sorry for the wife, but as for it ending in tears - don't an awful lot of relationships!

lockets · 27/03/2006 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Carmenere · 27/03/2006 13:41

It's not fair to introduce this casual relationship to her kids and of course it's not fair on the wife.

Caligula · 27/03/2006 13:41

Bloody awful example to set her children, frankly.

sobernow · 27/03/2006 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Auntymandy · 27/03/2006 13:42

but do the children know he is married?

Auntymandy · 27/03/2006 13:44

its not agains her wishes, she knew he wouldnr leave his wife..he was honest in that!
And why didnt she realise he would dump her.

SoupDragon · 27/03/2006 13:46

Sorry, Sobernow, it wasn't against her wishes because that's the path she chose.

Original poster
SomethingAboutMary · 27/03/2006 13:48

Well in my own opinion its wrong, i feel totally sorry for the wife, i asked my friend this question i said well what about his wife? Her answer was "she does not think about it" Then she said it has only been about the last 2 months she has even been able to talk about his wife, she said she has seent he wedding photos & they talk about the arguments he has with his wife etc etc. I said to her in a nice way of course, That at the end of the day his wife is his wife & he must love her because he would 1) not have married her & 2) not have told you he will never leave his wife. I said to my friend she is just a mistress & in the long run this is going to affect her & her kids because they have this man in there life every week but one day i believe he will be gone!

The story gets worse but i just cant say because what she has told me is just awful, her mind is working over drive lets just say that,

& cod if i new the number i would give it you, but i have never ever met the man & never ever want too Grin lol

OP posts:
sobernow · 27/03/2006 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/03/2006 13:53

Its wrong, yes.

But she maketh her own bed etc etc.