Red shoes, charming lesbians and pirates with taste...Dating Thread 24

[ChaoticismyLife]

It's the best I could come up with

As you were...

Thanks everyone, it's so nice to have some support - feeling a bit down.

Hugs to Snape and Watch sounds like you have a lot of shit to cope with right now. Good luck Sponge!

Soooooo angry! Not content with sending me a text about this and then a short sharp phone call, he's actually sent me a message via the OD. Here's his missive followed by mine. I couldn't actually send the subtext as we live so close and have friends in common (note to self - cross 'local' men off your OD wish list!) but it's cheered me up. Not disappointed that I haven't got to meet him but in the fact that, once again, OD hasn't worked

EiePie, I wish you had been honest and just told me you did not want to meet. I made every effort to meet you, bearing in mind you live 1 minute from me. I knew you would cancel this morning before I got your text. It is a shame as we could have met anytime but you declined every attempt I made, I am a genuine guy, local etc etc but obviously not one you really wanted to meet. All the best to you.

Dear Fuckwit Kevin

I wasn't sure whether to reply or not but your comment about me not being honest was too upsetting to ignore besides, I fuming, you twat!.

We only started speaking on the phone on Tuesday evening which only left Wednesday or Thursday to meet - before today, that is. I had obligations on both those days but today was free. In my opinion, a couple of days is a very short time to meet up in. I know vaugely where you live but I don't have your address well, I do and I may be round later with a present from my dog and 'popping round for a coffee' in the house of a country bumpkin someone I have never met was too soon and really, in most situations, not sensible.

The fact that I wanted time to think where to meet for coffee during our phone call last night was purely because you threw me by saying you didn't go into coffee shops maybe you lowered the tone?, didn't know where to suggest again - thick and I couldn't think of anything suitable on the spot. I wasn't feeling particulary great at that time either.

I'm curious how you knew I was going to cancel today as you're pretty thick about most stuff as I only phoned the doctors this morning for an emergency appointment. I though, as I rang as soon as they opened, I would get an earlier slot and would still be able to meet up with you but 10.20am was the earliest. The appointment was in Lavenham. I now have an appointment to go to West Suffok Hospital for tests.

As I type this, I can see the outfit I picked out last night for our coffee date hanging up on the door a lie, but I couldn't resist the added guilt factor. I did want to meet you, I don't play games, I have been honest apart from the outfit bit and I did feel pressured.

Regards hope you meet and end up with someone as freaky as yourself

S

OK, rant over. Hope everyone has a fab weekend. x

pie leave it now, 'it ain't wurth it' (but if he replies, do post it!)

Phone hb and set up a payment plan watch. Even if it's £10 a month. Why aren't you getting hb next month? Because of the overpayment or the job?

Will do 'Snape* Have blocked him but just wanted the last word!

EiePie I love your potential response! definitely C&Ping it for my personal use

Smoothie it was great thanks. Lovely food & I was sparkling company. He's vair keen. Already making plans for next week.

It was weird though - does anyone on the last thread remember Man 1? Well apparently his friends saw me in a bar last night. Never mind the fact that he automatically took his friends words as gospel add in the fact I wouldn't be seen dead in that place but me and him aren't actually anything at the moment. Even more . But we've got plans to have coffee on Sunday and we're going to have A Talk.

Sponge eek! How's it going?

Watch and Snape, as I said before, anything we can do. ((Hugs)) to both of you.

Pie - Total fuckmuppet! The tone of his message is exactly how XH speaks to me. Basically thinks he is a lovely person who has made "every attempt" (at whatever) and it's all down to you playing games/being dishonest etc. Arse.

Watch, how awful. Definitely ask them to help you with affordable monthly contributions. I tired this with something else and they were fine.
I went through my bank account recently and deleted a lot of direct debits etc that I don't need. Earning extra money is always hard for all sorts of reasons.
Other than that I've no idea and I send many good vibes.
And pirate?

And Snape.

Pie oooh, defo lucky escape. Who the fuck calls themselves a "genuine guy"? That should be a given, surely. Anyway, I recognise the tone. Total drama queen, neurotic so you make a huge effort to reassure them, then the manipulation starts...
Yep. lucky escape
Watch That is awful, really awful. Second advice to attempt a payment plan. Have you actually said "I cant afford to repay this?" Apologies if you have.
Sponge Cant wait! Brilliant profile!

the profile update:

no messages. not even sure it has been viewed by anyone

and much younger colleague has had one of the girls from his team sat on his desk half the afternoon being all stupidly flirty and giggly, so am feeling ever so unjustifiably peevish about that too.

Meh.

Watch that is horrid. My income varies every single month due to lots of my work being exam based and so I'll have lots of work some months and not much other months. I take pay slips and invoices (some is self employed as well to add to the fun) and my housing benefit goes up and down like a yoyo. Despite taking everything in they decided last year I had been overpaid and they just take it at £10.65 a week for ever so it seems. Plus I am paying over £200 a month council tax until January (will be very nice once that stops). Are they saying you aren't entitled to housing benefit at all now due to the payoff from old work and that is why you have to pay back overpaid housing benefit? But you will then be entitled to it again?

I hate going along to the benefits office to give in my payslips - I am a bit complicated (have 4 different employed jobs and two types of self employed work) and no one ever knows how to deal with it. Last month took in details for the (moderately medium sized) chunk of money I got for June and July marking work and now housing benefit has gone up . And got letter jointly from council and Salvation Army saying that my entitlement to housing benefit is affected by national changes and that my entitlement will either reduce in the near future or has been reduced or if I made a new claim I am entitled to less than I would have been. I have have an appointment to exolain "what action I need to take to prevent building up rent arrears to prevent me from loosing my home in the future". Loosing is their word....

I think I'll take them up on it and see what they say about how my entitlement will change as no one in the benefit office ever knows,,,,

sponge - most people are at work... give it time :)
can you see views from there?

Cheers - i do feel better for unloading and its the same for a lot of people. I am just sick of it though. And the 'dads' who, if they do pay, only have to pay 15% of their wages, how is that fair, the woman doesnt get to pay only 15% of hers. makes me cross, really does.

snape - urgh. i recognise all that. im sorry. its shit, it really is. It shouldnt be so hard as this, it really shouldnt. especially not for you... you are at the top of your game, you know.

i shall try pleading with the HB, have to wait for the next letter first though.

In other news, mr nice came here and met the DC last night and all was well :) I made a very good apple crumble. And Mr Nice burned some rice

He said I was like I am with him with the DC which I liked :) And he said when we've got longer between seeing each other that he can sometimes come over here in the odd evening which will be good :) No staying the night with children here yet though (from both of us tbh).

urgh miranda - that sounds like such a pain.
Yes, im not entitled, but then will be again. so much faffing about. I wont be entitled, so somehow need to find a months rent ( hello loans!!) and then, when i am entitled, i need to pay back the overpayement. Which im not actually going to be able to afford to do
its a bit worrying about the ' loosing your home in the future' isnt it.

see, getting all political. I dont understand what they are going to do with all these people when the cut the HB. People will lose their homes, but then what, the council have to house them. But there isnt any houses to put them in????

hey ho, never mind.

I think they ought to stop mine and get all the overpayment back (ie what I would be getting now they'd just keep) but I suspect they'd want it all back if that happened. Have no idea how much it is but I think as long as I'm entitled to something that they just keep taking this £10.65 each week.

And wtf will happen once it is universal benefit I have no idea. I think because overall I earn more than whatever it is that single parents with children between 5-12 are "meant" to earn I should be OK although it is in a very up and down fashion. Currently on the down part but work will pick up again in November luckily.

just read this and want to cry

So, update, Dd phoned at 10 past three, she's off out has no keys, doesn't know of boys have keys. Phoned DS2 on his pals mobile, he doesn't have keys, but he's off out around the shops. DS1 probably doesn't have keys and it's pouring down. Leave work, walk to station in the rain, phoning home in case DS1 has managed to get in. No reply, train is due, phone home, DS1 answers! Hoorah.

Text PM at half three, 'what's the plan for tonight?' No reply. Miss train.

Get home, still pissing down, have to wait 20 minutes for the bus in stupid short lesbian charming dress.

Just heard from him, he was waiting to hear if it's on. It is. Texted him back that I've just got home, am soaked and will be giving it a miss, but let me know when he's back from the coast.

Fucking fucking grrrrrrrr. What a day. Pyjamas. burns notebook as shredding it lets me stick it back together again

its just a bad day all round.
yours takes the biscuit though. if it makes you feel any better, im also in pjs. having got soaked.

sorry about the lesbian do. and, well, just everything.

Snape [fire extinguisher]

pjs buddies! i now need a bottle of rum and a jar of nutella.

i am coming around to the opinion that i am an after-thought with regards to PM. After weeks of him saying, 'keep my birthday weekend free!' he's away to 'the coast' with the people he's off out with tonight, so he's out with them two nights in a row (oh god, how pathetic do i sound? how petty!) I'm fucked off and miserable and don't want to trail back into town to be the only straight woman in a hideously over-priced bar stuffed with lesbians (nae offence lesbians) I'd feel intrusive, like i didn't fit in - and as thats a fair description of my life in general, i spend every single day of my life acting (I'm actually chronically shy, it takes a lot of work, sometimes i need to go and hide in the toilets and talk myself round) I don't want to have to spend another evening acting. so i don't think, even though it's his birthday, and he gets to call the shots, that a little consideration would go amiss.

and after typing all that, he's sodding well texted & said 'take care of yourself, i'll catch you when i'm back'.

sodding sod.

Fuck him Snape. I'm possibly going against the grain but I'm not sure if the note book should be given to him. I loved the notebook. For many reasons, least not the hard work, dedication and commitment you put into it. I dunno. It's just what I think. Things aren't great for you at the moment and I think you did that for him, despite the adversity in your own life. I really wish I was on the receiving end of something like that. I would treasure the person for ever.

i think with me it's just stress speaking to be honest. i hadn't looked at the notebook for a few days (wedged it under a bunch of books to try and flatten it out) picked it up last night and leafed through it and....it's just beautiful. it really is big giant head i just feel worn out and it's manifesting itself at being snippy with people - and you lash at those closest to you... if we were a couple, i'd have expectations, but we're not, so i really shouldn't. he actually doesn't have any idea of how i feel, bless his idiocy. i think the notebook probably has to be given because it brings things to a head, it stops the fucking stupid unrequited mooning because if it's a big fat no, then i have to hoist up my bosom and move on. it's not healthy.

Hi everyone, I havnt been online all week as I have been off feeling slightly sorry for myself. Nothing in particular, but just feeling fed up of being a single parent right now.

still talking to mr wealthy just about.

also still talking to mr workaholic.

and had a whole big thing with fwb telling him that I wont be sleeping with him again.

Also had dd's dad over this week (he was here to see dd) then ended up staying here till after 11pm I dont want to be with him and i know it would never work and its not what I want. But I really really want to sleep with him. The sex was amazing with him and it has never been as good with anyone else ever!! that makes me feel really sad because I know I cant sleep as he is dd's dad and I dont want to ruin things .

Now I feel like I want to meet up with fwb, have drinks and sex with hours as sex with him is the closest thing to sex with exp

sorry for sounding so misberible.

Also I have un hidden my pof profile as I need to atleast try to find someone I like a bit

Ok Snape. I see where you are coming from. Can you make any extra money from your art?

oh god, it's a general sweeping malaise!!! we're all miserable!

snape - sorry to hear you are also feeling crap at the moment. I could also do with a jar of nutella but would prefer wine to rum. BUT I am trying to loose weigh as I'm fed up of my weigh so cant do either of them unfortuntly...