Red shoes, charming lesbians and pirates with taste...Dating Thread 24

[ChaoticismyLife]

It's the best I could come up with

As you were...

I really dont think I can hang in, not any more.

After a few months of being single, everyone told me to be patient, I'd meet someone.

After 3 years, the same thing. Coupled with why dont you try OD again?

And over a year later, I'm still in the same position. Nothing has changed. One date, and that's all I ever get.

And in another year, another 5 years, people will still be saying the same, oh I'm sure you'll get a second date EVENTUALLY. And so on. But no-one really believes its possible, it's just what people say.

I am in a bit of a bubble of my own despair at present and will disappear to be miserable in my own space rather than dragging the thread down any more, but just to add before I do Snape I'm so sorry re work situ. Is there ANY chance to appeal it? any work-related grant or anything you could apply for? Union involvement? Its not my area of law but might be worth seeking advice - you may well have legal cover on house ins for example, just to double check theres no legal way of forcing your employers to cover costs, or at least part thereof.

sponge, how about one last go, whats my single friend like in your area? could we all chip in and do a profile for you?

Oh, PurpleWolfe - previously EiePie Not sure what's happened there?

I'd date you Sponge. , well, If I wasn't so pre-occupied with numerous other things that get in the way of me finding a partner.

Good luck with the date Watch.

My friend who has a similar situation to Sponge is also feeling pretty low about it this week so I've promised to take her out Friday, might even be her 'Wingman' and see if we get anywhere.

Should be fun.

Watch what is My single friend then?

Hello. I am pretty new to Mumsnet and extremely new to this thread but ... I am DATING. With a MAN. Can I join you?

Hello Wallison and welcome

So tell us about this man you've found - does he have brothers/sisters who are available too . Where did you find him etc etc??

Thank you raskolnikov! I found him on the internet and he has a sister but she's married. He is very nice (tho' a bit toooo keen) but I am very unsure of myself due to not having dated anyone for more than eight years. In fact, who am I kidding, I've hardly 'dated' as such at all in my whole life - when I was younger it was more 'shag someone I met at a party and then either see them again or not'.

Snape. I'm not sure what to say but is there a way to claw in some money to pay that rent? I'm not sure how but could you use everyone around you to buy you some time? I'm sorry this is happening to you and your family.

I don't have much of an opinion about one night stands. I've had a couple and I felt empowered for a day or two then I forgot about them.

Sponge, what about an introduction agency?

So how long have you been seeing him Wallis? And 'too keen' can be quite good, it does good things for the ego and levels of self-confidence, as long as it doesn't disappear in a puff of smoke at the first hurdle!

That's a good idea Latte, I thought about it briefly myself but decided they might be £££. Worth a look tho - what do you think Sponge? Has anyone tried them?

I've been seeing him for (counts....) eek, about a month now. And yes I know I'm being mean about my 'too keen' comment - years ago, a very good friend took me to task for being, in her words, the kind of woman who runs around after guys who treat her like shit, and treats the nice guys like shit herself. Must stop that. It's just that he texts me, like, all the frigging time. See, I told you I was mean.

Am now feeling nervous because at some point (if we carry on seeing each other) we'll have to Do It and I am not the woman that I was last time I did anything like that, and also I've got a kid and the house is a state and etc etc etc. Also, I feel like I'm being disloyal to my ex (this is completely irrational).

Thank you for all good wishes. :)

sponge I will be appealing the arse off of this. The so-called manager doesn't have my 25-year strong grasp of our HR policy. She is factually incorrect and has made the decision by committee, rather than make it herself. That has involved very personal information being seen by other members of her team, which is a precarious position. So the process and therefore the decision is flawed. My trade union is on it and I'll be utilising their legal advice as soon as possible. I am not to be fucked with, but it is so, so tiring and so, so stressful on top of the stupid unrequited love and non-school-going DS1. (Sigh)

And as to PM, was meant to meet him at the gym and he didn't sodding well turn up, despite knowing what the score is with work. He better have a pretty damn good excuse, but at the moment he can go to hell with his Stetson and white mice and shove the stupid notebook where the sun doesn't shine. (This is stress talking)

snapespeare I don't really know what's going on with you but I hope you get things sorted or if not then sue them and get lots of money and go and retire on a Caribbean island.

Hello wallison. . It's all very tedious to recount, so I won't bore you, but quite a bit of it alludes to lone parents being able to afford to work in the south east without resorting to prostitution or marrying a (premier league) footballer. [grump]

PM has texted an apology, so my stress related ire has abated for an hour or so. Don't worry, it will return, probably when I run out of a room full of champagne sodden lesbians in floods of tears.

Wallis - yes, if you carrying on seeing him, I imagine you will Do It. However, remind yourself that men age as much as (if not more noticeably on occasion than) women do and that you'll both be so enthusiastic that worries like that will evaporate. I hadn't dated for about 20 years when I started OD and if your guy's as nice as you say he is, he'll be busy making you feel wonderful so you won't have time to think about it!

Snape why's your DS1 not going to school? Is it a big step up from last year?

Also, don't forget Wallis that after the event, you'll be doing the "I'll have what she's having" walk, so you'll be chatted up and propositioned by all and sundry - its a win-win !

He's borderline ASD, doesn't fit in and is at odds with a couple of children. School very supportive, am sure it will work out....but trying to get out to work in the morning with all the homelessness nonsense is exacerbating it.

((snape)) - you've got a lot on your plate, haven't you? I'm trying to think which of those things should take priority and they're all right up there! Have you got anyone in RL who can help with any of the practical things you've got to do, somehow give you some space to think and plan a strategy?

Hopefully the PM situation will sort itself out soon too.

Good evening, everyone!

Watch, how's it going with the pirate?

Go Snape! Let 'em have it. Managers who don't know their job irritate the hell out of me. Especially as they're usually the ones who expect their extra pound of flesh from their team.

Wallis, sounds like you're enjoying the excitement of the build up....

Sorry you're feeling low at the moment, Sponge. Out of interest, do you have many male friends? Could you ask them for their opinion of why you might not be getting second dates?

Parsley, My Single Friend is a dating site where your friend writes your profile for you. It was set up by Sarah Beeney, I think. I have no idea how successful it is, I'd be interested to know how it compares with other paid sites.

Is there a difference between sex on the first date and a ONS? Obviously, if there's a second date, it stops being a ONS, and there are occasions where people sleep together knowing they won't again, but that must leave a fair number of situations not in either camp?

snape glad you have the union on side, and it sounds like you have a good case to argue. Ridiculously stressful meanwhile of course. But good you have PM back in touch as well. Can he speak to DS1 for you given what you've said about PM being like DS1 as a teen?

Introduction agencies... £1000s to get rejected just the same as I do normally, only it costs me a fortune too. Scatty I know you were trying to help, but that idea just makes me feel more like a freak than I already do. Everyone else gets dates/relationships in the normal way, but not me. I don't want to be the only person who has to get into debt to find one man who wants to see me more than once. Honestly what is it that makes me so different, so weird, so repellent to all men that that's what I have to do? :(

bugger, feel a bit crap with a dating update now.
Snape- know its exhausting to fight, as you know i lost my job/nearly lost my house/ had to fight like fuck for 2 months, but it came right in the end, not without pretty much sleepless nights for that entire time and a fuck ton of stress. You will sort it because you are resilliant as fuck :) i know its just shit having to be resilliant as fuck by yourself all the time thoough.

Pirate has just gone home ( was never going to be a late one) Said he NEEDS to see me sat :) i am frustrated as hell. Dry humping with still no boob action. jesus. Dont quite know how much longer i can keep it up for. I just need him naked.

Hi sponge,

sorry you're feeling negative. If it's any consolation at all, if you were the only one getting rejected or not finding something fulfilling, there wouldn't be 25000 or so messages about online dating on MN - all of us have the same problems otherwise we wouldn't be talking about it so much

at watch. It's not an abstinence competition you know. Your tits won't fall off if you wet-hump him. Go to it.

Oh I am exhausted with it all... The alternative is quitting though. We're not quitters.

sponge. Yes, will ask PM if he might spend some time with DS1.... It's kinda like Stephen frys letter to a 16 year old himself.

I will win. All of this, it's just that the journey is a battle that I always fight alone. Ahh well.

Snape thinking about you and sending you hugs even though this is MN.

Have spent the evening sending filthy texts to the optician about what we are going to do to each other on Saturday. It/he needs to be done and done good and proper. (You can tell I'm feeling a bit frustrated can't you!). Just need to sort out babysitter but I think my usual two might have a weekend job. Where can I find another one pdq? My mums away at weekend so can't even ask her!