Red shoes, charming lesbians and pirates with taste...Dating Thread 24

[ChaoticismyLife]

It's the best I could come up with

As you were...

Still need to work out those smileys!

Thanks Losing sometimes I think I'm talking to myself...comes of working alone, or with a cat!

watch hope you have a nice evening with the pirate :)

losing tbh I'm not really sure thats my kind of thing. Plus I'm lucky in that I do have lots of friends to go out and do things with already. That only works as a temporary distraction though, and the more time goes on the harder it is not to dwell on what a complete disaster the last 4 years have been. And to worry the next 4 and beyond will be much the same.

Watch have a lovely evening, don't do anything I wouldn't . . .

Holy Jeff, only just caught up! This has moved quickly. Still catching me breath. :o

Glad you were all pre-emptively hugging, because I found out today that work won't pay my rent, so I will either be on the street or queuing at a soup kitchen within the next month. DS1 has missed another day of school and I am absolutely at my wits end. Ds2 is a bit whiny/bitchy but is still my darling love and DD just phoned to say boots has a soap and glory foot buffer that I've been aft for ages, so she has just bought me it. I can soldier on with the shitty things, although I am stressed to the gills and coming home to someone for a shag hug would be great, but when people are nice I feel a bit teary.

Need to go to the gym. Haven't seen PM since Saturday, but I might cry.

goodness snape - what do they expect you to do?

Oh Snape that's rubbish about the job - I hope you come up with some practical solutions ... I can completely understand re people being nice, especially kids eh? They manage to pull just the right strings so you stop just short of chucking yourself off the nearest ledge. Something will come up, I'm sure, work-wise. Have you got plans to see PM soon?

Watch I'm probably too late, but have a lovely time this eve, be good (what am I saying??), have fun and tell us all about it...

Watch have a great evening with the sexy Pirate
Rask your man sounds lovely!
losingtrust I get what you mean, although I am not in that space now, possibly because after an abusive relationship I want companionship, trust and emotional connection over sex.
As I wrote on last thread, I had a persistent potential FWB that had messaged me from OKC, but he couldn't offer anything more so I didn't see the point of meeting. His refusal to take no for an answer made me think I was doing the right thing. It was never an option. We chatted on Skype and it just confirmed what I knew, that he was a player and not what I needed at all.
I've done the FWB thing in my 20s and early 30's and it was all ultimately unsatisfying because what I really wanted was a relationship, not just ego gratification.
I think if I'd been happy in other areas of my life though, FWB would have suited quite well. I can't do ONS, never could, only had one and it was distinctly I wouldn't judge anyone's else choices tho.

They expect me to either move back to Scotland, where I can afford to live without expenses from work (but it will cost them more in flights, childcare, hotels etc) but where they don't have a job for me, or be homeless as I can't afford to live in London.

Oh watch. Have a lovely evening! I'm really pleased about the pirate. :)

Hi Madame - yes, he is!

I met a guy earlier this year who I got on very well with, sadly he didn't tell me that all he wanted was FWB, I thought there was more to it, but he didn't tell me, just stopped contact. Funnily enough, he got in touch again recently (no response, of course), but it was a shame he wasn't up front about it, I might have considered FWB as we seemed to get on so well. There again, I'm not sure I wouldn't get too attached.

I like the idea of a FWB kind of arrangement, but I think I wouldn't be able to handle my emotions afterwards. So I think a relationship might be safer for me.

Pof guy has messaged to say he will be busy with one of his (very sporty) hobbies at the time I suggested, and asked about meeting up next week. What is the etiquette? I'm rubbish with any suspense at all, so would probably be inclined to suggest a fixed day & time already. Would that look over-eager? What's the best thing to do to ensure he really will meet up with me AND I don't seem overly fussy about time/unavailable/complicated /secretive? And when should I reply?

Hey sponge - how about option 3. Not OD, focus on your friends, making yourself happy, go dancing, eat lots of cheese (or M&Ms in my case) and maybe the universe will send some good karma your way when you least expect it...? No word on my job yet - recruiter says she is still trying to pin them down but still hopeful

(but on a related note, just had a message from Mr60 asking me about the job...first time he's initiated a conversation in a long time..?)

Oh snape that sucks. I'm trying not to panic about what will happen financially if I don't get this job cause I will be totally screwed and don't have a plan b Hope the gym (and PM) help you feel better.

watch relax. enjoy. (& lol at whoever it was earlier that said about shaving legs in the loo after a last minute change of plans!)

That was me that said that.. ..:)

There will be no sex. Dd is upstairs. Not happning.

Snape. Neither are options :(

Hi Unbridled

If I were you I'd leave it a while (since he did) and then reply in a cheery fashion that its ok and suggest a day and approximate time next week. I'd also drop in that I have a few other things to organise for next week but it would be lovely to meet up ...

TBH I don't put up with more than 1 cancellation unless there's a VERY valid reason, random illness etc doesn't do it. I don't have the patience to keep waiting indefinitely - if they're not keen enough, then move along.

(Tough guy stance)

LOL watch - am sure you will still manage a bit of snogging (and hugging!).

There will be lots of snogging :)

Haha raskolnikov, I'll bear that in mind. I generally have a tendency to be over-eager, and I'm trying to learn how to change that. Waiting several days to reply though - really?! I'm rubbish at game playing. I am genuinely quite busy at the moment though, so I hope he'll be able to make one of my random times work.

it would be nice to think if I did nothing then it might all work out. But I tried that for 2 years and fuck all happpened. It never does whatever I do or don't do. Whatever everyone else has that men like I don't have it. Not one man in 4 years thinks I am worth anything, certainly not more than a few hours of their time. So maybe they're right and I'm wrong. Maybe I should give in to the unanimous view and realise I'm wasting my time expecting any outcome other than the 2nd option.

Oh sponge that's hard. I guess it's easy for me to sit here and say things like, just because nothing has worked out yet doesn't mean it won't or it's more important that you know you're worth something regarldess of what a bunch of stupid men think...but I'm not in your shoes & I don't know how you feel. Hang in there. xx

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2219102/Can-date-sex-EVER-lead-long-lasting-love-MailOnlines-new-sex-columnist-Tracey-Cox-gives-expert-view.html

Snape Am sending you a massive hug (((((xxx))))) Hope things pick up really soon.

Sponge Massive hug too ((((xxx)))) - I know your pain. x

bugger, pressed send too soon. the above is what tracey cox says on the subject.... in the daily fail today, surprisingly......... :)

just waiting for pirate to turn up, hes due at 8...