Red shoes, charming lesbians and pirates with taste...Dating Thread 24

[ChaoticismyLife]

It's the best I could come up with

As you were...

I'm with you on that one Yoga I'm aware that these children will one day have partners and I'm hoping they can be more responsive than their Dad. For whatever reason, he never manage to dish the hugs when they were most needed - just tried to find a solution to whatever the problem was at the time. All I wanted was a hug (and even asking didn't work!?) My children give tear inducing hugs sometimes - I try to hold back - mostly works!! x

Rask Don't go on, you'll set me off!! I think my x had probs with his Mother/Son relationship and his Father/Son relationship was non-existent.. Hugs to everyone! x

Ah Eie, lovely ...

My XH was brought up in a household where men shook hands, so my kids GF used to try to shake hands when my boys were tiny. I made it clear that hugs and kisses were on the agenda, no excuses, and several years later he was pleased as punch when my eldest met him on the seafront (with a mate in tow) and gave him a bear hug in front of all and sundry. They're great huggers, my lot, the DS1 (20) has no qualms about giving me a hug hello or goodbye at the station. otherwise there'd be trouble

The Evil Ex and I used to hug lots. Even when our relationship was at its worst that was one of the few things that remained.

I must be at a low ebb as in view of that he almost looks appealing in comparison to the men I've met OD...

yes, hugs to all x

sponge a lovely huggy guy could be waiting just around the next corner, chin up, keep going x

When I went out on my dates with Mr cheeky I was gagging for it but it just didn't seem right to sleep with him (the fact that neither of us have our own place is a contributing factor) and I have had quite a few unsatisfactory one night stands so just didn't want to go there ..however I may have ONS again just not just now

Hugs all round ((((xxx))))

I'm such a tactile person. I love sex but even more than actual sex I just love touching. I remember Mr60 commented on that - probably cause I couldn't keep my hands off him, but it wasn't all sexual, I just love touching and being touched. XH only ever touched me as a prelude to sex. And Pie - he was also of the 'always have to find a solution' variety. And if you didn't think his solution was the best, smartest thing ever he went off in a sulk.

Yes Sponge keep the faith - and in the meantime, there's always us! x

Hey Yoga I've very tactile too - strangely for similar reasons to my ex but I've translated it into having/giving more hugs! I think the problem/solution thing is a very male attribute. Venus and Mars comes to mind! (X)

I'm getting used to the touching now, XH used to maintain his personal space nearly all the time... However Hendrix is very touchy, hand on waist/arm/shoulder when he passes me etc. I'm learning to do it back too.

I've noticed that if I really like someone on a date, I often touch their arm to emphasise a point or link arms with them across a road etc - it's my 'Yeah! I fancy him' barometer! And will often give a big hug before departing. Yum! Love all that touchy stuff when it's the right person rask!

Whenever we get out of the car or walk anywhere, his hand's always out waiting for mine ... so not used to it ... (FGS woman, slaps face ...)

Awww Rask that's lovely!! Sounds like a 'keeper'. :)

Raks - lovely and am not at all jealous

Sponge - big hugs to you too, you sound a bit down again. When do you start your new job?

Hi been a lurker on here for a while. In my 40s and divorced but new to OK. Had a couple of dates so far (one twice) but no spark. Get lots of hugs from my DCs, Dad and family (from a very kissy huggy family). Interestingly Ex only gave hugs that were prelude to sex and never held hands despite me trying to explain that sometimes it was nice to just hug!

Anyway been watching with interest about the sex on first date being 'easy'. Do you know what I don't really care. Have only ever done it once and moved in with the guy straight away and lasted a year so on the whole it worked and always that side of the relationship was much better than anything else. Having said that choice of two ODs at the moment. One has lots in common and we may get on really well. The other very attractive and I would say is looking for sex and amazingly number 2 is quite appealing (assuming of course the photo does justice and he is not a complete narc). He knows it's not a promise but the little comments are actually quite getting me more inclined to. Maybe it is more to do with my state at the moment, enjoying being single but missing a physical relationship with a man. No strings or a full-blown relationship with all the complications thereof. Am I strange or anyone else ever felt the same?

Hi trust, welcome
Absolutely not strange at all, its lovely to be flirted with and if (like me) its been a while, how could you not be thinking ahead?
All I would say is, wait until you've met in RL, don't commit, just meet up for a coffee and see how you feel. If you fancy him and you want to, then go for it, you might think you want to wait a while, he might be nothing like his photo - but the beauty is that you can wait and decide on the spur of the moment if you want to DTD - how exciting!

losingtrust - nope, you arent the only one. Its only this year that ive actually wanted a full blown relationship, until then, something on a casual basis was something i was more interested in.
You know, for all the fun bits, but none of the crap :)

yoga I am a bit sad at the moment, I always am if I spend anything more than the briefest amount of time thinking about my utter inability to interest a man beyond one evening. Or if I contemplate my current options which are:

1. Try OD again, or singles evenings, or speed dating, or just go to the pub or whatever. Get rejection after rejection, and feel sad and unhappy,
2. Not OD, give up on the idea of ever meeting anyone, ever being touched or hugged or kissed again, and feel sad and unhappy.

Not really much to look forward to either way tbh.

Forgot to add, job start date is tbc, so at the moment no idea. Possibly sometime next month. Hoping they might let me know in due course...any good news re your job yet? (fingers still crossed for you!)

Hi Sponge, I'm sorry you're feeling down atm, it is crap when you keep trying and getting nowhere. Do you socialise otherwise, have interests that get you out meeting people? I forced myself to go to meetups on my own for a while, walking groups, running club, horse riding (the list goes on ..) and whilst that didn't result in any dates, it got me feeling a lot better about myself generally - I was fitter and felt more able to cope with things and I made lots of friends. Sometimes just feeling better in yourself rubs off onto others IYKWIM?

Hi Trust. Right, hugs and physical contact. It's over a year since Pigface was shown the door. In that year, I've never been touched by a man. A couple of weeks ago, a bloke who owns a local shop I go in a lot gave me some change for the dryer at the launderette (annual quilt wash) and cupped my hands so it didn't spill out. It was really weird, that it was the first time I had been touched, and I had missed it. I get hugs from dd, but I'm afraid I miss the Menz, even if I don't always like them...

rask thanks, it is the relentless rejection I find (at times) overwhelming. I do go out a lot at weekends. I don't have interests as such, but juggling working FT, the house, and DC doesn't leave me much time. And if I'm honest I'd rather go to the pub with friends when I have spare time than do anything involving exercise.

right - im logging off, got parents evening and then need to sort dinner, dd, and house before pirate comes over.
still a bit nervous, still dont know why.
shall probably report back later as it wont be a late night.
i have not shaved my legs!

Thanks all. Men need to understand it is not just them that have the need for a physical relationship. Liked your comment Parsley! It made me laugh.
Hate I joined a social organsiation called Spice that gives you the chance to take you out of your comfort zone and meet new people. All of my friends are married so difficult to understand and nice to get out more. It may take your mind off. I did it to stop being fixated on being alone and it did help. I did chinese food tasting, pottery painting and am going to an allnight Halloween party in half-term when kids away. It may help.{smile}