majorly pissed off and sleeping on sofa

[1stbabyat30]

i am PISSED off.my bf was a moody arse all day yesterday and wouldn't explain why except to say he's tired - has to be on his feet all day for work. i planned a perfect night for him with favourite food and drink only for him to be moody again before i went to bed. he went on to stay up till god knows what hour and consume TWO bottles of wine. i am 5 months pregnant lying on my sofa because due to intoxication the snoring is unbearable.
if i wasn't pregnant i wouldn't put up with this shit. why does he need to drink that much on a Wednesday night?!

Oh dear 1stbaby. I'm sorry, that sounds awful. At 5 months pregnant you shouldn't be sleeping on the sofa. The miserable, selfish sod should take his snoring down there. Could you wake him up and suggest as much? If he is so tired why did he stay up drinking?

Is he going to drive in the morning? If so he'll probably be over the limit.

Sounds like you need to get to the bottom of the moodiness.

that's what i thought re: the tiredness. im so moody because im so exhausted, im so tired etc so im going to stay up till 1am and drink 2 bottles of wine and get pissed makes no sense. makes me think he must be miserable - but then goes on at how happy he is. i have been so reasonable with him and compromised so much. i tried to wake him 5 times to ask him to roll onto side but he's so drunk / tired - he's like a coma patient.

no he doesnt drive to work. i have now been up since 1am :-(

i tried to ask why he was so moody and mean yesterday as he made me cry and all he says is he's tired. work is tiring etc. just for the record - he does not do a hard Job. he insists there is no other reason.

Being persistently moody with you is childish. Hope you manage to sort it.

just wish i could walk away when this sort of crap happens.

Could be more serious- is there a chance he's depressed and not just being an arse?

Whatever it is, you need to find ways to communicate better because it won't get easier when the baby arrives. Hope tomorrow is better.

Happybunny is right, if he thinks he's tired now....?! Why do you think I'm up at this time in the morning? Even the best relationships with the most supportive partners get very strained during parenthood. Also he's being very uncaring towards you and your unborn baby. I can't believe you are on the sofa. My husband would be beside himself if he thought he'd caused me to do that.

i had this the other night xx so i can empathise. the only reason i didnt blow up is i find it comfier and less painful on the sofa. it took me a week to lay into him about the drinking. dont think it made a difference tho. i do thank the midwife the other day who told him itd be a dry xmas and new year incase the baby comes.

Well, he cannot do that when you have a newborn, not least because having a drunk parent who cannot be roused seriously increases the risk of SIDS.

He sounds stressed or depressed, but he has a responsibility to sort it out so you can both get a good night's sleep and so you are both as well and relaxed as possible in the run up to your arrival. Honestly, you're going to be up all night for a while in a few months time, you cannot do it ons short wick with each other.

Hope you got back to sleep OP.

he was up and about upstairs for 20 mins before checking a/where i was b/ if i was alive c/if everything was ok with the baby. he asked why i was asleep downstairs and i said couldn't sleep with the noise u were making and id asked him repeatedly to roll over but he djdnt respond. he just said ok. and carried on his business.
i have had abt an hrs sleep and i am infuriated. i don't know what to do.
i don't think he's depressed. just think he doesn't give a shit. i thought when he realised i wasn't there he'd come running downstairs to see if i was ok.

we have had a big fight now.he came into room i asked if he was stressed or depressed? no. why did he need to drink 2 bottles of wine on a wed? no answer. did he think it was irresponsible as im pregnant and i could have needed him? no. was he going to apologise for making me sleep on the sofa? no, he didn't make me do anything. then he said have a nice day and has left. i am so upset.

Is this a one off OP? Does he often drink heavily/be moody/off with you?

That old chestnut, which is also true:

I didnt make you do anything.

Now, he is quite right here. And also, of course the reverse is true, you cant make him do anything either.

The only way to tackle this situation, as I see it, is to get him out of the bed next time.

And, point out that he didnt make you live with him either. Either he stops the totally excessive drinking, which make you worry about his reliability and also possible alcoholism, or you will have to ask him to leave (inc taking steps t enisre he dos , if he childishly says you 'cant make him').

steps to ensure he does, I meant.

well yes he does drink every night - wine - which does worry me - but i feel like i can't complain because a/before i was pregnant i did the same (wine) b/ he works at the moment and i don't so i feel like i can't broach it if that's his way of enjoying himself/relaxing in the evening. its not a usual occurance though & 2 bottles r excessive!! just told a friend and she thinks its not too bad what he did - but i just felt very alone last night.

i mean its not a usual occurance for us to fight.

if i try to talk to him about anything he has the tendency to walk out the room or house.

I can't advise you 1stbaby tbh, as i find i'm in a similar situation to yours sometimes. I'm NOT expecting, don't get me wrong, but do have times with my DH when i feel alone and wondering if i should be putting up with some of his behaviour towards me. Borderline stuff, y'know?

Just wanted to empathise. I'm sorry.

I think you'll find it's easier to be a single parent when the sperm donor isn't in the house.

What can you do to prepare for the baby and change your life so you're not reliant on him?

thanks fluffy raggles. i spend times thinking is his behaviour unreasonable or am i being unreasonable. he generally is brilliant - but sometimes awful. but i find that after a period of time all men r similar in that way.
i don't need him financially and house is rented but in my name - it's just that i don't want to be a single parent - i wanted us to be a family