Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would you think you had been dumped

32 replies

Blanchedev · 07/10/2012 16:53

if your partner ignored 6 messages from you and then deleted you from the IM system you both use so you can't communicate?

Thanks

OP posts:
mirry2 · 07/10/2012 16:54

Yes

getrealandgetalife · 07/10/2012 16:56

yes

CookieRookie · 07/10/2012 16:56

Yes

Original poster
Blanchedev · 07/10/2012 16:57

Thanks thats what I thought too.

He says I am over reacting and he was just annoyed.

OP posts:
OrangeImperialGoldBlether · 07/10/2012 16:59

How long have you been together? Was it an online relationship? Why was he annoyed?

Original poster
Blanchedev · 07/10/2012 17:01

5 months, no not an online thing, I had to work at the weekend unexpectedly
which messed up our plans

OP posts:
0liverb0liverbuttface · 07/10/2012 17:08

he needs to grow up - what a passive aggressive thing to do.

Would I think I'd been dumped...? That depends on what the relationship is like generally. If my DH did it, no, I wouldn't - but I would be bloody annoyed at his childish unhelpful behaviour.

Original poster
Blanchedev · 07/10/2012 17:10

Mmmmm we had an argument the week before and he dumped me only to backtrack when I said ok, so now I am a bit insecure and wondered if he was right and I was over reacting

OP posts:
0liverb0liverbuttface · 07/10/2012 17:15

I think if he wants to trust you he needs to treat you with respect and care.

Blocking you on IM when you have to work unexpectedly, is unkind and disrespectful. I think he needs to rethink what caring for someone means.

Loving someone is the 'lover' indulging their own feelings - caring for somebody is the 'lover' demonstrating that love in a tangible way.

without care, 'love' is meaningless.

I don't think you over reacted.

0liverb0liverbuttface · 07/10/2012 17:15

sorry - that should have said 'if he wants you to trust him'

brain going faster than fingers!

dequoisagitil · 07/10/2012 17:24

I'd think I'd been dumped and on discovering that he didn't mean it/changed his mind, would think that he's a huffy unreasonable git and not worth bothering with. I've no patience with guys who play the 'if you don't do as I want, I'll dump you' game.

Original poster
Blanchedev · 07/10/2012 17:29

Thats a bit what I am feeling, he also said he had cancelled our holiday, then when I was upset said no not really

I sort of see a pattern and I don't want him to do this again, he has just started it, when I think we are over he backtracks and says no don't be silly

OP posts:
OrangeImperialGoldBlether · 07/10/2012 17:33

I think he sounds horrible. He also sounds as though he thinks it's up to him whether you two stay together.

Get him to a point where he thinks you're together and then dump him. Tell him you don't appreciate his attempts at mind-fucking. Oh and that you think he's a twat.

Original poster
Blanchedev · 07/10/2012 17:36

Lol thats funny, I am supposed to phone tonight but I can't be like everything is now fine because I have been down thinking about it all weekend.

OP posts:
PissesGlitter · 07/10/2012 17:42

If it was me i would not waste any more time on him
Sounds like a twat

redadmiralsinthegarden · 07/10/2012 17:47

sounds like he's playing games, blanche. leave him and find a grown-up!

Original poster
Blanchedev · 07/10/2012 17:48

If I phone tonight I am condoning his behaviour? he said typical women you are over analysing

OP posts:
redadmiralsinthegarden · 07/10/2012 17:53

so he's being silly - telling you he's cancelled your holiday for example, and then blaming you (and womankind) for reacting??
I wouldn't ring, to be honest. or ring and dump HIM. it doesn't sound like the start of a fulfilling relationship, love.

izzyizin · 07/10/2012 18:05

Unless you phone and tell him he's history tonight, you will be condoning his behaviour.

This controlling twat man is showing you what he's like. Once he's got full control over you, your life won't be your own.

Holiday with him? You'd have a better time as a guest of Her Maj.

Run for the hills and don't look back.

Original poster
Blanchedev · 07/10/2012 18:27

Thanks all, wise advice, will sleep on it

OP posts:
MushroomSoup · 07/10/2012 18:57

Can't believe you need to sleep on it tbh.
You'd sleep a lot fucking better without him in your life.
Life is far far too short to have to second guess someone who is supposed to love you.

hoopieghirl · 07/10/2012 19:29

I agree with all the wise women of MINUTE he sounds very immature, and likes to play mind games. Not worth a minute more of your time. You deserve better x

hoopieghirl · 07/10/2012 19:30

Of Mumsnet stupid fone :(

izzyizin · 07/10/2012 19:44

You've known him 5 months and thank fuck you don't live together? Hardly your 'partner', is he?

As for 'sleeping on it', it's rare there are no dissenting voices on the various threads that are posted on this board. If you choose to heed the unaminous advice that has been given to you to ditch the twat, on your head be it... and your head will not sleep easy on its pillow as he has every intention of keeping you off-balance so that he can control your responses to him and, eventually, order your every movement.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 07/10/2012 19:46

I went out with someone who did this.

Turned out he was on antipsychotics and he ended up threatening me with a knife while talking to people only he could see.

Not saying your man is a psychopath. But seriously, its a major red flag.

Run. Run for the hills.

Swipe left for the next trending thread