Joint finances

[jointaccount]

Have started thread in money but actually would be better in here.

Trying to have grown up conversation with DH. He very much sees his money as his own, leaving me with all grown up expenditures (boring stuff) whilst he indulges his hobby.

I want to propose he has a hobby budget which he can spend as he likes.

What do you think would be fair?

Does he seriously not contribute to any bills/household expenses or anything?

Fair to me is that both people in the equal relationship get 50% of what ever remains after all bills/food/necessaries/kids/family birthdays/haircuts etc are paid for to spend how they like.

So if he spends his share on his hobby that is fine. If you spend yours on booze and fags and don't share well he has the choice to spend his on that or the hobby.

If he really does not contribute anything to the household you are paying for his food, hot water, everything while he gets to do what he wants with his money. Very very unfair and I personally would stop subsidising him. No food, washing, shampoo etc Nothing bought for him until he contributes equally.

Sorry, I wasn't clear.

We both pay into account for bills, mortgage etc. but other discretionary stuff I tend to pay for. Kids stuff, furniture.

It's more that he would never think - ooh we need a new carpet, I'll set aside some money for that.

Definitely means he's not contributing enough. You need to budget amounts for big one-off expenses like Christmas presents, a family holiday, home maintenance or furniture/carpets/appliances as you say and put them into a family savings account. Joint account remains for current family expenses, bills, mortgage but your joint savings account is for the 'rainy day' irregular stuff. What's left in the personal accounts should be a similar amount for personal expenditure but only once all the joint expenses are properly covered.

I advocate a joint account for everything and you both get an equal amount of hobby money each month, once it's gone it's gone, no borrowing more. That way all the kids expenses, clothes, daycare, presents, furniture comes from the joint account as they are for the whole family and not just your or Dh responsibility.