Is my husband a twat?

[NotAnotherNewNappy]

It is our 3yr wedding anniversary today. We both knew it was coming up but forgot it was today until I realised and text him when he was on his way home this evening.

It has been a crap day. He told me last night he thinks he and the kids have threadworms and totally freaked out. Since I got home from work I have de wormed the kids, vacuumed the whole house, changed all the bedding and done 3 loads of washing. The baby wouldn't sleep, cried for an hour. He got home at 9pm, special dinner on the table and iPlayer ready.

He brought a bottle of wine but no chocs as it would have "undone all my hardwork in the gym yesterday" and no flowers as "the ones in the co op weren't special enough"

He is a twat, yes?

Oh bless you, the threadworms sound horrible and all that work. Sometimes anniversaries and birthdays just fall on really shitty days. Today is one of them. Try not to be too hard on him. At least you got wine. My husband often says the 'not special enough' thing about flowers - I think they truly believe that and it's not a fob off. Give him a hug and happy anniversary!

No...he's just busy and it was short notice.
Come on...life isn't like a magazine. Invite him to make it up to you. It's ok.

Sounds like you've both had a difficult day. Why not just make up and head to bed?

Poor you

But no, he's not a twat, you both forgot until today.

Perhaps you could both plan something nice to do together at the weekend.

I can sort of see his point re:flowers (just), but if he knows you like chocolates(and there is a custom of giving them on such occasions between you two), then yes, a bit twattish not to get them.

See, my DP would bring nice flowers for Mother's Day/birthday etc but we don't celebrate anniversaries- it always feels a bit fake tbh, it's important to celebrate every day iyswim. Maybe a 10 year anniversary?

But I wouldn't get too upset unless he is generally a selfish twat.

You both forgot, and then rushed around to manage what you could.

Give him a break.

DH and I only realised we'd forgotten our anniversary this year some weeks after the fact. I don't think it means anything.

Sorry you had a bad day. Get some sleep and hopefully things will feel more positive in the morning. And tell him to get you the bloody chocolates - that's what the gym is for!

Make peace and plan something (more) special together. Yes, it's a rubbish anniversary but it sounds like you are both busy and consumed by the unsexy realities of life (mmm...worms).

Take five minutes tonight, plan something nice or at least almost nice and then divvy up the organisation so there's no resentment.

If he doesn't respond to your loving pitch, tell him the kids have taken all the worming tablets and he'll have to suffer alone.

Poor both of you!

Can you ask him nicely if you could re-do it this weekend? It doesn't sound like he was trying to be a twat. You both forgot

At least there was wine

Not a twat at all

You both forgot

The threadworms sounds horrid tho so you have my sympathies

He didn't want to buy you substandard flowers last minute or something that would make you feel fat & crap about yourself after eating.

He sounds great, in the nicest possible way, log off MN & go enjoy what's left of your anniversary!

Happy anniversary

No he's not a twat

YABU

NO he got wine. That would be a sainthood in our household.

Did you get him chocs?

DH and I got over the expectations by deciding not to celebrate our anniversary, apart from the big ones. Our first big one is next year.

I show our kids the video nasty wedding DVD on the actual day, just to give them a laugh. It is only 10 mins long before anyone is thinking of reporting me to SS

Concentrate on your Dh's good points. He doesn't sound like a twat to me.

May he not also be a bit distracted by his own (suspected) threadworm symptoms? I don't know much about this - would you need to de-worm him too? (or is that a bit gross..?!) I hope you have a much better weekend - happy anniversary.

No he isn't a twat! Just because he didn't buy you chocs & flowers!

Why must be denigrate the male species all the time!

Don't leave the bastard

No I can't see anything twatish there at all, why are you so annoyed with him?

What did you get him?

Agree that if you both forgot then he's not a twat, you should try and celebrate at the weekend.

I second tall. Don't leave the bastard but leave www.janepackerdelivered.com (grey rose is to die for) and www.chocology.co.uk (Leonidas is died and gone to heaven) prominently displayed on post-its, laptops, computers, dashboard, and anywhere else it can't escape his attention

Or www.hotelchocolat.co.uk/?gclid=CN_L5MPy5rICFQfKtAodxXIACQ

So what did you get him?

No not a twat, I get that he didn't want to bring home a shitty bunch of flowers for you but some choc's would of been nice regardless of your gym workout.

Have a belated anniversary at the weekend when you're both more relaxed.

Grrr thread worms -my youngest brought them home a few times when he was in nursery and to be honest it used to freak me out and send me into super, excessive hygiene overdrive. (disinfecting door knobs, hand rails etc because the eggs can live outside of the body for upto 2 weeks and re-infect everyone )

Make sure everyone is treated with the anti-worm stuff, including yourself. It's also a good idea, if you know which of DC got them first, to inform the Nursery/School so other parents can act - no good you treating your family if it's raging in the classroom- it'll very quickly come back to your home :(

I know it's probably a bit uncomfy but I used to cover my DS bum with sudacrem before bed, to try and stop the worms laying there nightly eggs and also to stop the itch making it less likely he would scratch himself.