Something weird has happened - and the more I think about it, the weirder it seems!

[DriedUpAndDeadToTheWorld]

Friday night DP and I went out drinking. Came home, watched a bit of telly and then went to bed. We had sex and then fell asleep. I don't remember noticing anything weird at this point.

Early next morning, we're in bed and I notice a mark on his shoulder. It looked very much like a bite mark and I ask "wow look at that!! is it a bite mark??" and he said quite calmly "no, we were giving each other 'twisters' at work and it will be a bruise from that. But I noticed there was some more light bruising down his chest and on his arm.

As the hours went on, this mark starting getting worse - until it was an awful purple bruise massively resembling a bad, human bite mark. I questioned it again and this time he said "you did it, last night". No way!! I wasn't that drunk and I'm not a 'biter' anyway. So I protested and he said it wasn't the mark from the twister as it was obviously a bite mark and was too severe to be from the twister .

So, Sunday night we go out to watch a band and he brings it up again saying "you should see that mark you did now, it's bright purple" and he shows me it. I said "I did NOT do that, I would have remembered and I wouldn't have done it anyway" and he got quite defensive and said "well I didn't get it anywhere else!!" to which I replied "I never said you did but I didn't do it!". He followed this up with "I don't mind, I just wish you'd admit it"

I keep thinking about it and it seems so odd!! It wasn't there when we first went to bed but I would have remembered doing it!!

So not to drip feed, it's a newish relationship and there have been a few slight signs of gaslighting. Not severe enough for me to say it definitely IS gaslighting, just a few hints (saying I've said things when I havn't) - the paranoid freak in me is wondering if he did it to himself and blamed me! I just can't see how else it could have happened!

I get bruises without knowing where they came from.

One developed the other night on my thigh that was so big and painful it woke me up when I rolled over onto it.

It doesn't sound right.

I don't like him, OP. He's a liar and he's trying to make you think you've done something you haven't.

I think he was shagging someone else on the Friday afternoon and is blaming you for her bite marks.

Bruises can take a while to come up. Its very possible that its an injury he sustained many hours before (even up to 12 isn't unusual), and that there was nothing to see until after you woke up.

Are you dumping the creepy, twisty liar, then ?

Oh, come on, OP, you're being daft.

He HAS lied about where the bruise came from, because he gave you THREE different explanations. That's a minimum of two lies right there - and my money's on three.

Here's what really happened: He engaged in submissive sex on Friday afternoon. He lied to you about it, understandably I guess, and also tried to make you think you'd done it without noticing. That's nasty.

Unless you are actually turned on by bruising him all over with bulldog clips & candle wax, etc, and really enjoy sharing yourself with an untrustworthy liar ... It's time to thank him for the good bits and say farewell.

Also, BeaverFeaver, I hope you don't mind me saying, but you should really get your unexplained bruising checked out by your GP... as quite honestly, what you describe happening to you isn't normal, and may well be a sign of some clotting problem you are having. A few blood tests wouldn't go amiss. Best wishes.

Beaver go to your gp, you could have clots.....

Unlikely, Monty - unexplained bruising is more likely to be a lack of clotting properly, not creating clots. But that --> risk of bleeding. I agree, go to the doctor Beaver.

I agree with Thumbwitch about checking with doctor however my experience of bruising due to lack of clotting is that it wasn't very painful (in my case) becasue the bruise wasn't caused by trauma to the area so tissues are not bruised just blood vessels breaking down. It looked very impressive (and was as it turned out very dangerous) though.

Bruises that aren't from trauma (and are from things like clotting problems) are sometimes painful and sometimes painless.

They can be painless because as you say DameKewcumber, there has been no outside trauma to the tissues.

But they can be painful if there is something else going on in the local area (like internal inflammation or compression - which can be invisible), or many of a variety of other problems.

Very sorry for the thread hijack OP. Hope things are alright with you.

DH 'joked' about something that he liked which he wasn't sure of my reaction, nothing bad but he said he was joking at the time.

He wasn't, it was his way of trying to see how I reacted to it. I asked him outright and he then admitted it.

Sounds like your BF does like to be dominated and is testing the ground to see if you would be willing.

I bet thats where these marks have come from and thats what he was doing on friday afternoon.

He sounds dodgy, trying to make out you said things or did things when you know you didn't. I would run for the hills.

Seriously OP, read back what you've posted so far ... For fucks sake, 3 months into this relationship and you're biting yourself to try and work out if he's lying to you about where a bruise came from and whether he could have done it to himself.

Dump him and sort yourself out.

INteresting scared - I had no platelets so very dramatic bruising and everyone found it hard to beleive I really couldn't feel them. Of course I know it is extremely unusual to have no platelets!

OP, how are you getting on?

Ask him if he fell on a pair of false teeth. This is also known as The Billy Connolly Defence.

His explanation(s) of this bruise reminded me of a story we were told by a GP friend of ours from his days as Junior Registrar at Coventry General. He was on the Saturday night graveyard shift in A+E and a guy arrived in an ambulance with a lightbulb in his rectum. Without any prompting from the medical staff, his explanation was "I normally do the dishes in the nude and I slipped and landed on a lightbulb which was on a chair."

snurk! I think trying to pretend that it is something other than what it clearly is just causes more mirth.