Sofas and Slankets V Irregular choice shoes and Snogging - Dating Thread 23

[watchoutforthatsnail]

:)

yeah. hes fine about it. bar no quoting cliches at me. but its fine. Its done
:)

the pirate is coming here to watch a film. we both LOVE film, so that will be nice. Puppy hated films...
anyway - hes coming round with wine and food, that he suggested, at 6:30!!!!!
i am providing the film and sofa....
i expect there will be some full on snogging. i dont indent on sleeping with him... but will be shaving my legs just in case

snape :( dnt have a notebook wobble, it will all be fine. its beautiful. the work thing is sad, it was amazing, i am quite jealous. did they let you know about your rent yet?

I have a date tomorrow. That's not what I was expecting to happen at all. eek.

Shuckle - who, what, where, when?????

Wow, what a lot going on!

Sponge, great news about the job! I can see why you'd feel awkward celebrating with your colleagues, I hope they get what they want.

Snape, stop worrying!! The notebook is amazing, and if PM doesn't want to see it as you declaring your love for him, he'll see it as a massive chunk of platonic love from his best friend. You can't lose.

Watch, glad the puppy took it well. He can go on now and find someone else, and you can have lots of fun with the pirate. What film do you have planned? (did you say already?)

Moving, just be careful then. There are good reasons why you have your doubts, so please keep that in mind.

Yoga, sounds really positive about the job, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Shuckle, you have to tell us more....

Ooh nice one Shuckle.

Watch - well done, I know it was hard. Now put it out of your mind and enjoy tomorrow!

Snape - so what's happening with your job?

Both my OKC men have gone quiet. NewYork boy probably cause I've been ignoring him a bit and the other one said he was going away and hasn't been online since last night. Just as well, if I get this job I reckon I won't have the time or energy for dating for a while - the sofa will be my new BFF!

Well, work seem to have gone off of the idea of trying to move me back to Scotland, as there aren't appropriate vacancies, they lose my experience (same employer for 25 years) I had two periods of waiting for posts, first one was 8 months, 2nd one was 5 months and if they move me back...when I get my next promotion, the majority of the appropriate work is based in London, so I'd need to drag us all back down again. Not conducive to work/life balance, family friendly policies. Business case mentions I'd be returning to close proximity to ex with DV convictions, alcoholic etc, DD is half way through her A levels, DS1 is borderline spectrum, it costs more in travel, flights, hotels and childcare for me to attend training (all London based) and work related meetings (all London based) than it does to pay me subsistence rates to be here... Plus I can't actually afford to move back (I paid my removal costs to London) it's an absolute stressful fucking NIGHTMARE. Fully expect them to turn down business case, so will be slapping in an appeal & claiming housing benefit, which won't cover a third of my rent

So I have all this going on -& DCs who don't know the full extent of it, but are unsettled- start new post on Monday and sodding PM, who knows I am stressed to the gills, is being all 'enigmatic' and quiet. It's unusual to not hear from him, he hasn't been at the gym this week, I refuse to text him (initiated text on Monday, got response) because my life doesn't actually revolve around him(!) part of me is concerned that the (good natured...) ribbing from the lesbians and hair stroking with his head on my lap has sent him into a spiral of snape-related panic (but I did hear from him a lot the day after, nice stuff ) in which case the whole notebook scenario files out of the window, because if he's wobbling now when I haven't actually said anything, the odds are not ever in my favour for a Richard Curtis ending.

Sorry, I go a bit loopy when I'm stressed. this whole fucking teenage bollocks was meant to be over years ago.

Think I'll have a gin.

watch Yay for the pirate, the film and the foof-muzzle! (Now, that does sound like a richard Curtis film title!)

Snape - oh my heart goes out to you having to deal with all this work shit. You must be going frantic inside. Hope you're eating and sleeping okay, make sure you take some time to look after yourself (trite but true). Fingers crossed for you as well.

Optician has just texted to say he's seen the solicitor to start divorce proceedings . . . Haven't replied yet

Watch same here! Right down to the time! Enjoy!
Snape Sorry you are feeling so stressed lovey, it sounds hellish.
Shuckle oooh, exciting!
Yoga fingers crossed here too!
Am feeling very distracted today. cant think why...

Science Boy called me last night, just as DD decided to have the most spectacular vivid dream. Roaring, shouting, the lot. He thinks she sounds like the Exorcist. Cue me saying that this is unusual and she is adorable when awake. Im amazed he's still around

Text from PFWB (aka Mr Harem) saying "ok last try. Any interest in keeping in touch?"

I didn't answer his last two texts. That was a week ago.

Have been indulging in texting with optician

If he's started proper divorce proceedings, I think that changes things quite a bit . . . well, a huge amount. There were other things about his relationship with his ex, but this shows at least that he is willing to move things on.

What do you think? Help!!

Been lurking for the past few hours having been directed to this thread by a very kind gentleman! I posted on the lone parents page about my miserable dating experience and feeling lonely but the main advice was to get a job volunteering. Hmm, not the advice I was looking for. You 'look' like a nice bunch, can I join you?

I've been on 2 dating sites for about 2 years. To date, I must have had over 40 dates. I've really liked 2 guys. No. 1 was all over me like a rash for the first few weeks, phoning, texting several times a day (which I liked as I was quite into him) but after 6 weeks (and just as I had got confident enough to take him to a party where several of my friends were, ffs!) he engineered a row and disappeared into the ether?! No. 2 Contacted me without a photo but sounded really nice so I asked him for a pic - and he was gorgeous! Again, 6 weeks of phone calls, text and meeting up twice weekly plus two whole weekends together. Then I get a (cowardly!) text saying he thought it was too soon for him to be in a 'serious' relationship! He'd done most of the running, too! Deep, deep sigh. I've been out with 2 really wealthy men (one was a millionaire - really tried to like him but.. :) ) and find they are very controlling - used to getting their own way. Been out with arty types, farty types, shy types and very forward types, poor types, rich types, generous types and mean types! Feel like getting lots and lots of cats and giving up on men entirely! I shall be the mad cat lady of our village!

I'm 50 with 3 children, 6,8 and 11. I'm facing a whole weekend without them (going to their Dad's) and not a man, date or invite in sight! I miss cuddling and snogging - oh, and sometimes sex!

(Please don't suggest volunteering - although...I have looked into it!)

Hello pie :) welcome! :)

All I can say about your dating experience so far, is it certainly doesn't seem unusual! There are a bunch of flakes out there and the occasional good soul. Just takes a bit of indeterminate rejection, frog kissing, valour time to get there. :)

I've got three DCs as well, my army! I wouldn't say it gets easier as they get older (17' 14 & 13 with me) It Just presents different challenges, but it's good to be able to leave them to set off smoke alarms alone in the evening to go out!

Hello Pie - good to see you on here.

Sometimes people give advice that is kindly meant but it's just a bit crap.

Sounds like you know a lot more about the world of online dating than I do! I am a relative newcomer, only been doing this since the summer so I am still in single figures with my dates. No millionaires though (god that would put me right off, couldn't do it). I have four cats, seven hens, two fish and two children too so god knows what that makes me hehe.

Would welcome your advice about my optician - short story really nice guy, four or five dates but I decided to give it a miss as he is very hung up on his ex still. Now he has just texted me to say he is starting divorce proceedings (she wouldn't agree to a no-fault divorce so he will have to proceed against her for unreasonable behaviour) which doesn't get rid of ALL the problems but shows a significant change in attitude . . . well, I think so anyway or am I just wanting it to have changed?

He is saying very nice things to me . . . Need that bloody foof muzzle . . .

Oh Snape - sounds hellish. Hope you were serious about the gin! xx

Welcome EiePie - pull up a sofa...or a slanket, whatever takes your fancy. I went out with a really, really wealthy guy once (this was many, many years ago before I was even married). REALLY tried to like him but not only was he controlling (only ever wanted to go out the two of us, didn't want to spend time with my friends), but he also cried a lot! Dumped him on valentine's day...or maybe the day after, I can't remember. I must be a heartless bitch though.

Thank you for your wellcomes! :)

Snape Frogs aplenty! Thanks for the uplifting note about DC's not getting any easier! Do you think I can swap them for cats now?!

West IMHO guys that are hung up on their ex's are hard work but it sounds like he's trying to make the break. Maybe hang on for a little while longer, to see how it pans out, if you really like him but....not too long.

Yoga Thanks for your message. This guy had a huge house, swimming pool, boat, top of the range Mercedes - the lot! It actually taught me a lot about myself that I couldn't/wouldn't stay with him just for his money! Felt good but my friends all said I was mad! Lol! I know what you mean about the 'just the two of us' bit. Possessive and controlling!

Have cats as well. They are infinitely preferable at times!

(Durrr! Welcome! It's late, that's my excuse!)

PS What's a slanket???

I have asked him about his ex and if he is ready to move on, thought I will just come out and say it as there's nothing to lose. He has texted back that he's ready, he thinks about me all the time and let's move on together ...

He deserves another chance I think. Will also say something about the photos if they're still there, strike whilst the iron's hot and all that!

Sounds positive West Good luck. x

(Good job I didn't make any plans for my weekend 'off' as ex-p sent me a text at 5.30am (thanks for that! I didn't need the sleep anyway!) to say he's ill and can I have the children.)

I think you're right Western, but if he continues to argue with his ex in your presence then get rid. Awful behaviour.

Hello Pie, glad you found us, told you.

Snape, you're a remarkable and incredibly talented woman, so PM must be blind if he can't see that.

Anybody I've forgotten sorry .

Thanks NicholasTeaKozy :)

hi pie :) have to say, my dating experience was about the same as yours. had about 60 ish first dates in 3 ish years. BUT, just had a five month relationship ( dumped him last night) and have a third date tonight. Havent done anything different this time round, its just down to a bit of luck.
and a slanket is a blanket with arms. I have a leopard print one, sexiest damn thing in the world....

Western - if you feel thats a step, then see him again, just keep your guard up.

Snape - gosh - everything all at once. Have no good advice, other than to tell you there is 25% off spirits in sainsburys :)

madame- yay. hurrah. great minds and all that.

oh - and the film is afterschool - its got erza miller in it ( his first film)
we saw wallflower last week, he was in that. Good film, he was wasted in it. He was great in ' need to talk about kevin' so we decided we should see his other films ( there arent many yet)
I also quite fancy him..... so, its win/ win on all counts :)