Hi everyone
This is my first ever post after much deliberating I decided to try and get advice on whether or not I am over reacting. I'll make it as short as I can but will be so grateful to anyone who can get to the end and give their view!
There has been a history of the in-laws over stepping the mark so this isn't totally isolated. I've been married to years and we have a 14 month old girl. I recently had suspicions that husband may have an alcohol problem especially during stressful times. This is a stressful time as we have a house move coming up.
The alcohol problem with husband is not actually the main issue here though it may be for another time - he has agreed today to get help before it turns into something more serious.
On Saturday lunch time I got annoyed that he had tried to hide the fact he had just stopped at the pub on the way home from getting his hair cut as we talked about this the week before. He got sully and defensive so I went out for a bit. Instead of trying to help things when I got back he had clearly drunk a lot more. At tea time I asked him to leave for the first time ever because he was being obnoxious, and I would have ended up shouting at him. Not what I wanted to happen with baby around.
He eventually ended up at his parents - or I should say, in a coma on the porch at half ten when his father found him. Fil said they would bring him back in the morning. I then mentioned to fil what had happened and that I was concerned he had a drink problem and would possibly need help for it. Fil just said that it wouldn't surprise him....
Well I got a phone call the following morning at half nine and from speaking to hubby could tell straight away he was still going to be argumentative and clearly the alcohol had not left his system he had had so much. It happened once before so I knew from talking to him. In-laws are quite pretentious sorts of people. They made it quite clear on the phone they wanted to bring him home straight away. I explained I had spoken to hubby and he was not yet in fit state to have the serious talk we needed to have and again I didn't want arguing going on around the baby. They suggested lunch time so I said I would phone at eleven to see how he was then.
Did so and spoke to hubby, decided better to wait til a bit later. I told him I didn't want him coming home just now as we were not ready to talk and I got the impression he would be cross. Obviously he didn't have to stay at his parents house it wasn't really up to me where he went my position was I was unhappy to have him home at that time.
Next thing fil phones to tell me I need to sort things out with hubby and that it is his home too. I explained again how I felt and he completely ignored me saying they were bringing him back and I could take it from there. They were clearly just annoyed because they had better things to do. I did say that hubby knows I don't want him home yet and that if they had stuff to do couldn't they just go out etc... Or hubby could go elsewhere if it was a problem. Fil stuck to guns said they were bringing him back. I felt so cross so had no other option but to go out for a few hours just as I was about to give baby lunch and was stressed out enough.
It turned out that hubby had told his parents he wasn't going home yet and that I'd asked him not to. Fil phoned me and despite my protests, got off the phone and said 'let's get you home' to my husband who then had the impression that his dad had talked me into having him home when I hadn't.
I just feel so cross that it was not father in-laws decision to make! Am I just nuts or is this not right? I can elaborate if needed but just feel totally furious like I wasn't allowed to judge what was best for myself and baby bod I am a 32 year old woman.
They have a habit of treating hubby like a child but I am not used to this my own parents would never interfere like that...
Sorry this is so long believe it or not it is heavily edited! X