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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

HELP! My dh is trying to decide..........................

93 replies

busybusybee · 19/03/2006 13:07

  • whether or not he loves me
  • whether or not to continue with our marriage

I feel absolutely desparate

Please help, all words welcome :(

OP posts:
Lio · 23/03/2006 10:32

diddle is spot on, it is SO important. Hey, I am so impressed you are keeping it together bbb, hope you are feeling supported through the ether.

Molton · 23/03/2006 18:50

Sounds really good BBB. If he wants to go to relate it means he is prepared to talk, which is a v positive thing as it means you can understand more and, from that, move forward. Having a third party present is SO helpful and makes it safer to talk IYSWIM. The counsellor won't take sides or anything like that but will call one of you if you have big misconceptions. e.g. if he thought it would be impossible for me to change.

Don't worry about what he's thinking or what he's up to. I struggled massively with this for a few weeks (hated it, hit the pillow and basically had quite a few tantrums in the privacy of the bedroom Smile) then finally realised I couldn't control either of those things. As soon as I twigged it was up to him how / whether things worked out and all I could do was be true to myself and genuinely try to change in ways that were fair (less controlling etc. but NOT a doormat - being walked over not really possible for me regardless I think) I gave up on trying to control him. Then, strangely things started to get better. It's actually quite liberating not feeling like I want to get inside his head.

Hang in there. You are treating each other with respect which will help when you start to rebuild things.

thinking of you

Molton · 23/03/2006 19:00

Also, in response to some of the earlier posts, I think that, if you promise to someone (by marrying them) that you will be their partner, companion, only lover etc. I think it's only fair that there are kind of conditions to the deal - you do each have a responsibility to make the other happy, change in ways that are reasonable so they are content. Because you both have to get what you need, most of the time, to be happy.

I just have to get on and do it now though Grin

busybusybee · 24/03/2006 19:44

Hi all - I dont really know where to start but Ill do my best!

Dh has finally managed to talk about things and I now feel that I understand most of what is going on in his head

Basically it boils down to four issues for him
1 he says he loves me in a paternal way not a husbandly way
2 he cannot remember the last time he was truly happy
3 he no longer has faith in God. ie he is rejecting all of his christian faith. the faith that brought us together in the first place. He says he cannot understand how God can have allowed him to suffer so much in recent years (being forced to resign from his vocation as a minister, his mother dying very suddenly etc)
4 that other people (incl me) try to control him, he feels weak

He says most of this is not my fault. He doesnt want me to feel guilty for him feeling like this - and for the most part I dont, I just feel very sad :(

OP posts:
busybusybee · 24/03/2006 19:51

I have decided on what I think must be the path I must follow. I think our problems stem in large part to our having fallen away from God and our christian faith. Therefore I have been trying to rediscover all that God once meant to me and slowly I can feel a sense of faith returning and the presence of God in my life.

I have been figuring out what must be my next step. Its sooooooo enormous a problem.

He says if he stays with me he will not be happy. Being with me will not in the near future make him happy. Therefore he wants to leave. I am convinced him leaving wont make either of us happy but hey ho.

I have decided let him go and find himself if that is what he wants. Stopping him would be like Molton says and still trying to control him. I have to let him go.

I have however said there is a possibility (assuming he doesnt sow wild oats with other women) that I will consider a reconciliation. Because stupidly or not I still love him as a wife should love a husband

:( :(

OP posts:
Molton · 24/03/2006 23:16

BBB

It must be so difficult for you just now. The fact that he has started to talk about it must be a relief in some ways but worse in others - as now things will start to move forward in whichever direction they are going to.

Any posts from me will always err on the side of how you can make this work - my belief is that a marriage should be fought for and that it not working out is the last resort and not worth the thought at this stage (other than having a plan B just in case - giving some thought to what you would do, then keeping that knowledge at the back of your mind). It isn't over until it's over if you know what I mean.

So, what can I say that is positive.

In the last couple of months I have also heard 3 out of the 4 things your H has said to you (not the religious one as my H not a churchgoer) all of them changed when he had some space from the situation to think about what he truly wants. By being away he had a chance to start to miss me and realised that the unhappiness wasn't me (or him) in terms of who we fundamentally are, it was the rut we had gotten into and some bad habits that had built up. He also realised that he wouldn't be in any better position with someone else. It was his inability to stand up for himself and be open and honest to sort out problems that was causing his part of the problem, and the only way to sort it out was for him to change.

Maybe some space would be good - a little time apart (but communicating in a controlled way e.g. seeing each other at relate or away from the house, talking then going away to reflect) he might start to feel differently when the old setup isn't there. You could say that this is risky - he may decide he's happier by himself - but he may well not. At least he can make his own decision (he then has the control) so it will be the right one for him.

Can either of you talk to another minister or read what the bible says about marriage. It sounds like a lot of things have happened for your H in recent years. Not surprised his faith has been shaken. I'd say you have nothing to lose, in conducting yourself through this in a way that you will not regret, making it clear to him that you will stand by him and be his wife (who will be there for him and change your own behaviours as well where they have not served your relationship) and that, as long as he doesn't disrespect you (e.g. with other women, as you say) the relationship could survive. This would be you in effect being very forgiving of him at the end of the day, as all relationships have ups and downs sometimes one person has to be the stronger one.

I hope you are taking care of yourself through this, spending time with other friends and family who love you, and being good to yourself.

(I'm doing yoga for the second time ever tomorrow as part of my new, slightly more independent, self......then having a night in with icecream and trashy TV....)

thinking of you

Molton · 24/03/2006 23:26

p.s. I know it isn't very women's lib, but the fact that whenever he's been home it's been welcoming: fresh flowers, everything clean and tidy, plus some strategic new underwear, have definitely not harmed things. I decided in my own head at the start that I wouldn't play any games (too important / respect him too much for that) but that I'd make a fresh effort with me and the house.

busybusybee · 24/03/2006 23:31

Molton thanks for that I really appreciate it - Your situation is so similar and your approach too.

I think marriage is most definitely worth fighting for. I am convinced dh's problems largely stem from his ongoing and untreated depression. I am going to give him space and see what happens. Hopefully he will rediscover his love for me.

The weird thing is he does love me - in a paternal way he doesnt feel able to love me as a wife atm because he has drifted away from me. My love for him is as strong as ever despite everything.

Your thoughts have vindicated my actions. My decision to turn to God can do no harm - It will help me, I believe its the right thing to do. Maybe one day dh will realise I am the one for him. Maybe he wont. HE is the one losing out. He is the one causing the pain and devastation.

Molton I hope things continue to go well with you. I look forward to keeping in touch and seeing how you get on!

OP posts:
busybusybee · 24/03/2006 23:34

Molton your story is so similar I cant get over it!

I can only hope and pray your tactics (which are identical to mine) will have the same effect on my dh as yours!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Molton · 25/03/2006 00:02

It does sound so similar. This sort of thing seems not to be unusual - certainly our relate counsellor looked as if she'd seen it all before (we were clearly not an exciting case by their standards - quite reassuring in many ways....)

Forgot to mention - 2 really helpful websites: will try to write in a way that can be posted, don't know if we're supposed to post links

(www.) 2-in-2-1 (.co.uk)

and

(www.) marriagebuilders (.com)

BBB, have you started to think about the ways in which you can reasonably change how you are in the marriage - the controlling stuff. Good thing to do at this stage - he's going to need proof that things can be different I reckon. And this is one aspect of all this that is within your control (!)

Hope tomorrow goes well - I'll log on in the evening to see whether any updates.

busybusybee · 25/03/2006 20:05

Thanks for those links Molton and your support! BTW yes you can post links on MN, in fact almost all the websites I know about have been links on MN :o

Things are looking very definite here. He is dead set on moving home and work and is convinved this will make him happy which I think it will in the short term.

I would prefer to be with him - although admittedly I am keen to move home and work as well. But he really doesnt want to be with me atm and I dont want to force him.

So I have given him my blessing because in doing so he is now being very nice to me and is going to help me with the move etc, sorting out money issues, being kind in letting me have most of our stuff etc. If i try to force him to stay I think he will do a moonlight flit eventually anyway. He has already disappeared overnight twice in the last 6 months - walked up and down the beach all night apparently.

My hope is that in 6 weeks, 6 months or a year he may realise what he has lost and may return to me. If he doesnt then so be it.

I guess that is the first way I can find to alterr my behaviour - not forcing him to stay, giving him the freedom to do as he wishes.

OP posts:
Molton · 25/03/2006 20:55

You sound like you have a clearer idea of how things are going to be for a while. I'm glad he is being kind to you and that the situation will not be complicated by hostility between you at this stage. Does your H know where he will go and what he plans to do next?

I hope both of you will find your faith returns in time and that it will pave the way to better things for you.

Keep me posted.x

busybusybee · 25/03/2006 21:09

Thanks Molton

He is thinking of moving 90 minute drive south of where we now live. I am keen to move to a town 90 minutes to the north! Trying to decide whether I would prefer to be closer to him so but I really dont fancy the city he is planning on. Anyway he seems happy to drive for three hours just to see us so i guess it will be alright. My parents live a five hour drive in the other direction!

OP posts:
sanchpanch · 25/03/2006 21:42

If you love something let it go, and if it's truly yours it will fly free and then come back to you, if it doesnt then it was never yours to begin with.............

busybusybee · 26/03/2006 14:25

Sandpach that is exactly what I am trying to do - heres hoping!

OP posts:
collision · 28/03/2006 16:21

How are you today BBB?

Molton · 28/03/2006 23:22

How are you doing? thinking of you

collision · 29/03/2006 23:05

BBB....I inspired you on the other thread but how are you?!!!

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