BBB
It must be so difficult for you just now. The fact that he has started to talk about it must be a relief in some ways but worse in others - as now things will start to move forward in whichever direction they are going to.
Any posts from me will always err on the side of how you can make this work - my belief is that a marriage should be fought for and that it not working out is the last resort and not worth the thought at this stage (other than having a plan B just in case - giving some thought to what you would do, then keeping that knowledge at the back of your mind). It isn't over until it's over if you know what I mean.
So, what can I say that is positive.
In the last couple of months I have also heard 3 out of the 4 things your H has said to you (not the religious one as my H not a churchgoer) all of them changed when he had some space from the situation to think about what he truly wants. By being away he had a chance to start to miss me and realised that the unhappiness wasn't me (or him) in terms of who we fundamentally are, it was the rut we had gotten into and some bad habits that had built up. He also realised that he wouldn't be in any better position with someone else. It was his inability to stand up for himself and be open and honest to sort out problems that was causing his part of the problem, and the only way to sort it out was for him to change.
Maybe some space would be good - a little time apart (but communicating in a controlled way e.g. seeing each other at relate or away from the house, talking then going away to reflect) he might start to feel differently when the old setup isn't there. You could say that this is risky - he may decide he's happier by himself - but he may well not. At least he can make his own decision (he then has the control) so it will be the right one for him.
Can either of you talk to another minister or read what the bible says about marriage. It sounds like a lot of things have happened for your H in recent years. Not surprised his faith has been shaken. I'd say you have nothing to lose, in conducting yourself through this in a way that you will not regret, making it clear to him that you will stand by him and be his wife (who will be there for him and change your own behaviours as well where they have not served your relationship) and that, as long as he doesn't disrespect you (e.g. with other women, as you say) the relationship could survive. This would be you in effect being very forgiving of him at the end of the day, as all relationships have ups and downs sometimes one person has to be the stronger one.
I hope you are taking care of yourself through this, spending time with other friends and family who love you, and being good to yourself.
(I'm doing yoga for the second time ever tomorrow as part of my new, slightly more independent, self......then having a night in with icecream and trashy TV....)
thinking of you