I'm in shock. I think my changed username says it all, tbh. If this turns out to be a marriage-breaker I will repost in my RL NN as quite frankly I don't care who knows what the fucker's done to us.
DD's school does everything by emailun, they had sent a form out on Friday to be handed in today - my laptop isn't connected to the printer so I logged on to DH's pc this morning (as myself) to retrieve the email and print the attachment - I only had weekend emails on my webmail (I can't get outlook on his pc) so I then logged on as him (we know each other's passwords, trust has never been an issue) and went into his Outlook to get the school email.
The form was there and just beneath it were 2 emails, one welcoming him as a registered user to TrannyDates and another from them urging him to get a full membership so he can contact 'hot girls' directly.
I took DD to school (trying not to cry) and then went home and followed the link to his profile there. It's him. No photo, he's changed some details (exact location, dob - the fucker's made himself 8 years younger!) but the username he's given himself is one he uses on just about every site he goes on (up til today I thought that was Share dealing and Facebook) so I know it's him.
He's registered as being interested in erotic chat/email, discreet relationships and 1 on 1 sex. For Marital Status he has checked "Prefer not to say" 
He doesn't have the full membership (I believe you have to pay for that) but the fact he's even registered has appalled me. Still trying not to cry.
I just can't believe it. What is upsetting and pissing me off even more is that we haven't has sex for 2 years - because HE hasn't wanted it! He is VERY overweight (another lie on his profile, says he's 'average') and tells me he feels depressed and undesirable - when I've tried to initiate sex (I've always had a higher sex drive than him throughout our TWENTY ONE YEAR OLD MARRIAGE) he's either put me off or been unable to sustain anything. I've been unpushy and understanding but quite frankly there have been times when I've fantasized about going out and getting a fuck buddy (only I wouldn't, because I love him). I've read that 'sexless relationships' thread many times and wondered if I should be on it...
And the real pisser? I may well be outing myself despite the namechange here, but I've just been made redundant and am a sahm - for the first time in my life, financially dependant upon the bastard (we put the redundancy payment - 2 years' wages - against the mortgage). He wanted me to do this. Tbh, I wanted to do this, I want to be there for DD (she has mild learning difficulties and needs support), to go back to college and retrain, but now I don't know what to do. I'm a 46 year old woman with childcare commitments, no qualifications beyond o'levels and work experience of only 1 organisation, how the fuck am I going to support myself now?
I don't know what to do. I'm utterly shellshocked and can barely see the screen now for crying. I want to drive over to his office and murder the bastard.
Also found out on looking further in his email that he opened a gmail account with a different password (he has the same password for everything usually) so I have no idea what else he's been doing. I trusted this man. He's often working late/away and I trusted and believed him. Fuck knows what he was actually doing. I feel like our marriage is a complete and utter sham.
What do I do now?