My DP smells

[Shinyshoes1]

He smells. He may bathe once a month sometimes he leaves it longer but it's never more than once a month.

I've told him that a bath won't hurt him once in a while but he doesn't listen . He must know he's filthy as he sits there picking filth from under his fingernails.

He's clean (ish) in other ways he brushes his teeth every morning , he doesn't do it at night though. He sprays deodorant in but funnily enough doesn't smell of BO he just smells of unwashed.

He's not depressed as he walks around singing a lot if the time.

I'm getting fed up now and spray deodorant in the living room when he goes to work just to get rid of the smell.

It just smells of unwashed and wind

What can I do ??

You say the house smells of 'wind'? Do you mean farts? Because it won't be just farts, it will be crusty, rancid shit from his unwashed arse

I can easily believe this- I travel on public transport and there are some people out there who just HUMMMM!!! The other day I could actually smell this guy's hair from three seats away . I wondered why nobody was sitting in those seats. And he was wearing a wedding ring

This can't be real !!!

I am sorry, but your husband doesn't smell if he bathes only once a month, he must stink!

Quite frankly I can't understand how you have let it get to a point where you have to open windows and spray the house with Febreeze to try and mask the stench .

I can't begin to understand how you can live like this. How do you eat togther as a family? Sleep in the same room? Spend time in the living room? Go out together without being totally embarrassed? God forbid prepare food for and cuddle the kids?

Not having a shower is a pathetic excuse. My Grandmother told me stories of her male family members coming up from the Welsh coalmines and bathing in a tin bath (the women of the house had filled from buckets prior to their arrival and also had to empty afterwards), in cold water next to the range in the kitchen, scrubbing themselves to get clean before they would be allowed into the rest of the house and to eat/sit with the rest of the family.

Your husband has a bathroom, hot water and though quite possibly as much muck on him as a week in the mines (and a lot more more stale sweat) bathing is nowhere near as difficult a task to perform.

It sounds like both of you need to develop some self respect. You need to stop normalising/putting up with this behavour and he needs to show some decency not just his family, but everyone who comes within (by the sounds of it) a 20 metre radius of him.

I find this revolting only reading this.
I also have trouble believing this. Actually no, I cannot believe this.

There is no way I could endure this. One month????? And sometimes even less than that???

Sweat, urine, poo.....I mean that needs to get washed off. Picking dirt under his fingernails???? You can't be serious here

I am not going to continue to read, as my lunch is going to make re-appearance otherwise.

I can believe the OP as I used to work with a man like this - he generated that awful claggy back of the throat stale smell you get from long-term sweat and dirt. Very different from fresh BO. He also kept a large number of pet birds in his house and I was terrified of getting psittacosis from him he was so grubby! You'd have to open the windows when he was in the room or you'd gag. Astonishingly he was (a) happily married to a rather glam club hostess and (b) was one of those extreme homophobes who believed he'd have to keep his back to the wall if in the room with a gay man, because of course they'd hit on him! Only if they had a very very heavy cold.....

We have all known proper mingers like this, haven't we?

I have always wondered how their partners tolerated it

I am still none the wiser

AnyFucker- I'm amazed too. As I said upthread I had a boyfriend once who wouldn't wash. I've never had the greatest self esteem but I just felt so insulted that I wasn't worth him brushing his teeth or washing for.

I dumped him for that reason. These days I shudder just to think what I put up with and it was only a 3 month relationship.

This is not for real. It's a writer trawling for ideas or comments for their article, or it's someone who is bored with life.

It's def. not real.

MissBoPeep.

I believe it. Some women are afraid of being alone and will put up with a lot more than other people would. Maybe this is a case like that.

Not sure how you can be so definite, LBP

I have always wondered how their partners tolerated it

I always assumed that their brains screened it out, in the way that someone who lives by a railway line doesn't notice the noise of trains after a while....

Sorry, MBP

Anyone else got a massive urge to leg it to the shower after reading this! It's made my skin crawl. If it is real i hope the op is currently disinfecting the house and giving her husband a massive ultimatum and thats why she hasn't been back yet.

I'm not trying to be insensitive but i just don't get how anyone could live like this. Especially if there are young children in the house!

It's a wind up because a) the exmple is an extreme- if this man works, someone would have said something. b) the way it's written - very matter of fact , unemotional and similar format to "Problem pages" and c) the OP has not come back.

Wasn't there a thread a bit like this a few months ago where the OP's mum had commented on the smell of the house partly caused by the husband's lack of hygeine? I think the OP had a bit of success there after lots of advice on the thread. Think the DP was depressed, too.

I had to tell a work colleague he smelled once (I was his mentor and his appraiser, so there was no way I could pass the task off to anyone else). It was a truly excruciating experience for both of us. It turned out that he, fresh (ha!) out of Oxbridge halls, had moved into a flat without a washing machine and had misjudged how often he could get away with wearing work shirts between washes. But he was only 22, and reformed very quickly.

I do think it's a real thread, these things can creep up on you in a relationship, he won't have started out like this, somewhere along the line he's just lost his way. Well, you both have because (in the nicest way) through being tactful and nice about it you've become a bit of an enabler :) Just remember you deserve respect, and a basic expectation in a bed partner is for them to keep themselves reasonably clean. You aren't asking for anything that you yourself aren't prepared to do.

Just ewwwww! How do you get the smell out of the furniture he uses? The smell in your house may be worse than you think. We had an aged cat who quit using litter box and we were forever cleaning up pee. The pee would get under the mop boards. My house smelled of pee and my DH and I did not know it, we could not smell it. Someone had to tell us.
The cat became ill and we euthanized her. I bought a steam cleaner and washed all my floors and sprayed the steam under the mopboards. But the point is we could not smell it.

Someone has already suggested a hose for your tub so he could take a shower. You will need a strong disinfectant to clean the tub after!

I don't normally post in relationships, but I am truly gobsmacked. Like this .

That is utterly disgusting. It actually has made me heave Erik your post didn't help, thanks!. Your poor children having that as a role model. It's a disgrace.

Is his hair not stuck to his head with grease? Grim, just grim.

He needs some serious help. And fast.

Come back op

What happened did you make him wash his stinky self or are your windows still open.

Erik I actually cried at that last comment!

Bleugh.

This makes my skin crawl.