I deleted a very suspect text

[Kingcryolophosaurus]

I can't remember exactly " it was nice to meet you" finished with "kisses x x x"
Just one message, suggesting he had deleted the history
She had a sexy movie characters name.

He was out til 3am the other night, supposedly at a work do.

Oh god the "my friend has this problem" thing when its actually him.

The defensive accusation re his wallet - only people with something to hide would say that kind of thing.

Listen to your instincts - these are telling you something very dodgy is happening.

Hehe you should hear my DP going on about people having affairs and being very pious and righteous about it.. he was the worst and most prolific cheating bastage

Proof ..

why is that? it sounds like it's a classic behaviour; the 'my friend is having an affair' chesnut. Is it like a trial run conversation? or is it that it feels like a release, like a confession but without repurcussions.

Oh just get rid of him. He has cheated on you before and there were no repercussions so he will do it again if he can, if he isn't already doing it. You won't ever be able to believe anything he says. I don't think you need proof - it's obvious

he sounds like the type who would destry your sanity before he'd admit to anything

Also, in the middle of the row, he had a fit because we had no soy sauce(for a recipe), blaming my family and friends, because I had s barbecue when he wasn't here.
And then he flipped because I had put petrol on the credit card, which he apparently told me was for groceries
I've just found an email, telling me how much was available "for groceries and petrol"
Fucking idiot, I don't know whether to forward it to him
Things has just calmed down after yesterday, i haven't got the energy to start another row

He is 'devaluing' you as they say. He wouldn't 'lose it' with his friends/colleagues if they didn't have soy sauce.

He sounds very selfish and unreasonable! You can't socialise when he's not there!? Any ingredients used up by you & your f&f are 'wasted' ??? If he'd been there would it be ok that there was no soy sauce!?

I would email his email back to him without a word. Don't waste your energy rowing with him. Have you run this past any friends in rl? what do they think?

I've told them a few things recently, they're not very happy with him
But he gets excused because he's tired, stressed, depressed, whatever

I need a job, so I can leave

Yeh, it's a nightmare that phase, when you are thinking 'where can I go and what will i do for money when I get there?'. Remember it well. Five years ago + now. I got through it and my children were tiny. Neither of them had started school. What ages are your kids?

Just one DS, he started school last week

Sounds like he is up to no good.. keep digging.. sorry you are going through this

Sorry you are suffering :( Sounds like a painful time/episode coming and those of us on here who have been through it, know it is hideous but.....you do come through it and survive a better person most of the time. Good luck- get rid of the idiot x

nothing happening here
I gave him a bit of a hard time about going out
He admitted he's been burning the candle at both ends, needs to be home more
So he has no plans for this week, and I get the joy of his company!
will try and get a look at his phone, but unlikely
sleeping at the weekend is my best bet

shit
I just searched for her name
and found someone on a dating site
she's just his type

Have you checked if he is on it too?

ok, the name is actually on a few dating sites
the first one I found was specifically a female one, so he's not on there

looking at some others now

this is horrendous, there are so many married people out there

oh dear. So it's not somebody at work that he has grown attached to. He went LOOKING for infidelity. That's worse.

If they've met on a dating site then heaven only knows WHAT he's told her.

driving myself crazy here

it'seems it's a pretty popular name on these dating sites, so not really a definitive answer

I'm tempted just to call the number and say " did you meet with my husband last week?"

How do you withhold your number?

If its from a landline you dial 141 but not sure about mobiles.

:( op x

So much for coming home early
Just told me they have to go out after Tuesday night meeting

have you googled the number?

I've never heard of a job that makes you go out.. maybe he realises you are suspicious .. or maybe she has managed to be available last minute??

Yeah, nothing comes up when you google the number

Tbf, he does have a new boss who has called these Tuesday meetings, the boss could have said they are going for drinks afterwards

Or it could all be made up

Have you anyone that will go and follow him,

Sometimes ya just have to fight dirty

Don't phone the number hun i did that and they just don't answer or stick up for and cover up for the DH .. tried and tested that myself.
Or they ask DH who it was and they make out you're batty.

Substitute your number for hers get a new sim if you can but if not i doubt he'll check the number he will just scroll to the contact and call it or text.

If he calls dont answer, then text and say i'm busy atm what is it you want sort of thing

Get texts going back and forth and it'll be amazing what you find out

The only other thing is to message her from your number saying its his new one

Both risky but both could pay off by proving his innocence or exposing him for a dirty ratbag
Then come back here with whichever scenario and we can advise further