Argh! can someone help me make sense of new boyfriend's sudden change of personality??

[MrsKLemon]

Been seeing someone for about 8 weeks. We met online and at first saw each other about twice a week, a bit of a whirlwind romance, couldn't keep our hands off each other, lots of soppy texts with kisses etc. He was always texting me stuff saying he misses me when we wasn't together, couldn't wait to see me etc. However this past couple of weeks he seems to have a personality change!
He still texts every day but it's like he's texting a mate. No kisses and no soppy messages. Just straight to the point chit chat. Now, I'd be the first to say he's obviously losing interest but the thing is, he seems to want to see me more in person now than he did before.

Before we'd see each other on a weekend and maybe one night during the week - now he's wanting to meet up almost every night and is always arranging stuff for us to do so we can be together.

It's just so odd. Last night I was feeling rather soppy and sent him a text saying "missing you tonight, I'll let you know how the movie is xx" (I was going to cinema with a friend" and he replied "ok chat later" - a few weeks ago he would have text something like "missing you too xxxx"

I asked him last night if something was bothering him (after some very short and not very sweet texts) and he said no, he was just tired and not to read too much into it. He went on to say he really likes me a lot and loves spending time with me.

Today, his texts again sound like he's just texting a mate from work.

So my question is - I'm being neurotic aren't I?

But seriously, should I take it from the change in texts that he's losing interest or is he just becoming more comfortable with me now that he feels he doesn't need to keep up the girly sweet talk?
Are we seeing each other too much do you reckon? Have seen each other every day this week - maybe too much too soon?

The change of personality btw is him showing you his real self.

the nice one IS an act. Trust me. He's seeing how much he can let his mask slip.

He sounds like really hard work. H blows hot and cold and has you all over the place after just 8 weeks! I would come straight out and say you don't like his hot and cold attitude and it's not something you want to put up with. See how he reacts to that. If he keeps doing it - leave, life is too precious for that shit!

The whole thing sounds utterly ridiculous and not remotely like love. Texting 'I'm missing you' and then expecting him to text the same back when you just saw each other, all these texts are just words on a phone and don't relate to a real depth of emotion and feeling. That's why they are just fading away, as there's nothing really solid underneath.

Texting is the work of the devil early on in a relationship, and everyone who said you can't know his real personality is right, you need to see him in person, quite a bit, over a period of months or years with lots of different types of people and situations. It all sounds like a pretend relationship, conducted with a fantasy figure who texts the 'right reply' and now can't be bothered. Sorry, OP, I think you need to take longer to get to know him properly, and not measure his feeling out in texts.

By the way, his texting doesn't sound hot and cold, it sounds like it is heading towards normal instead of obsessive romantic-speak, this could actually be a good thing,

And to all those shouting red flag red flag if someone is a bit quiet or says they feel depressed, how long do people have to pretend to be really nice then with no real emotions? This all sounds way off to me.

Don't bother challenging him. This may be his game. He will improve for a while, holding out the bait for you, then revert to type and you will go through the wringer again.

Do not get involved with a man who you think needs changing, or one who is hard work. They are not like home improvement projects. Fixer uppers are bad news.

On the other hand, it could be that it is you who has a need for this sort of unavailable man and in that case you need to do a lot of work on yourself before you dip your toe in the relationship pool. I think there is something off about your impulses here and I think there is something off about his too.

End it now if it's not right, whether it's you or he who is not right. Better to draw a line under it after 8 weeks than waste more time on him.

it shouldn't be this hard work this early on...

I agree with Hissy.