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Original poster

H 'doing stuff' when sleeping...

59 replies

jarsofclay · 03/09/2012 19:26

Has anyone else got/had a partner do this? Is it normal?
It is not a new thing, Has happened on past occasions.
Been married nearly 4 years, 2 kids and average sex life.
Quite often I wake up to him urmmm what I think he is doing 'maturbating' but I can't be sure as I have never looked properly but it feels like it. I then get out of the bed and go sleep somewhere else. If he asks why I usually say he has been fidgeting or snoring but never confronted him directly about it.
Sometimes I lie awake and hope it is not what he is doing and try and get back to sleep, I am pretty sure he said 'come on' when he was doing it the other night though :( He seems to stop before anything comes out though or I have never seen or felt any mess.

?
......

OP posts:
quietlysuggests · 03/09/2012 19:30

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Original poster
jarsofclay · 03/09/2012 19:34

I do that when he is snoring but he doesn't usually wake up so would have to do it pretty hard!
No big deal, was just wondered if anyone else had parteners who did it and how they approached it.

OP posts:
needsomeperspective · 03/09/2012 19:35

I think its pretty standard for both sexes to knock one out if you can't sleep. Releases the right chemicals to make you drop off. In your sleep? I'm a sound sleeper so I guess I wouldn't know if my H did it. I suspect not though and if he did I would do the same as you, go sleep elsewhere and be pretty pissed off - only because I could do with a bit more sex and wouldn't want him to selfishly "squander" pent up sexual tension he could be directing my way.

needsomeperspective · 03/09/2012 19:37

Are you sure he is asleep?

StarryEyedMama · 03/09/2012 19:39

DP does it when I'm asleep and can't be bothered to have sex - cant say I'm overjoyed at the fact he does but it's not a huge problem - id rather he did it than bug me for sex if I feel tired!

tawse57 · 03/09/2012 19:46

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Original poster
jarsofclay · 03/09/2012 19:48

need, I am not entirely sure tbh. I think so....:(
Taw - hasn't school started back yet?

OP posts:
ErikNorseman · 03/09/2012 19:49

Sorry I don't understand
Is he awake or asleep?
Is he just masturbating or does he touch you?
If he's just having a crafty wank while he thinks you are sleeping it's not too bad but if you don't like it then tell him!
If he's touching you without your consent that's a different issue.

Spuddybean · 03/09/2012 19:51

it happened once when DP was asleep. We'd actually just come back from a hol where we'd been shagging once or twice a day, so i think he'd got used to it. I woke up to the movement and he was clearly asleep, i woke him up saying 'dp you are wanking'! he was shocked as he'd not done it (or ever had a wet dream) before. But as he was in the mood and erm, ready to go, i just joined in.

I wouldn't like it if he wasn't asleep tho. I think it's disrespectful to masturbate next to someone if they aren't part of it. I also agree with need I would want the sexual tension directed my way. And if he can't be arsed for sex then he can go to the bathroom.

OhBuggerandArse · 03/09/2012 19:52

Check that he's definitely doing it, too - I harboured terrible suspicions of an old boyfriend of mine for months, and it turned out he used to rub his feet together to help himself get to sleep...

Original poster
jarsofclay · 03/09/2012 19:54

Erik, no he doesn't touch me. I feel the same as you spuddy.
So I really need to find out if he is really asleep or not.

OP posts:
Spuddybean · 03/09/2012 19:56

haha bugger when i was 1st with dp he accused me of wanking - i rub my feet on the end of the bed when i go to sleep (to drop off, not get off!). And on our 3rd night together dp said 'spuddy, are you wanking?' i was horrified, he was feeling a little bruised as he thought he wasn't satisfying me. :)

Original poster
jarsofclay · 03/09/2012 19:56

ohbugger :) !
I had thought maybe he was just having a ball scratching sess but it really is quite rhythmic and he must be scratching pretty hard if it were that.

OP posts:
OrangeLily · 03/09/2012 19:59

Poor man.... He's asleep.... He can't help it and you leave him in a cold bed without you?! Why not just wake him up gently?

What do you do if he's scratching/coughing/farting/grinding teeth/snoring/scratching?!?!

Springforward · 03/09/2012 20:01

Just talk to him about it.

Original poster
jarsofclay · 03/09/2012 20:04

Orange, I usually just get up and go and kip on the sofa or in the spare room! If I do wake him he starts doing it again in the next few minutes!

OP posts:
tawse57 · 03/09/2012 20:07

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regnamechange · 03/09/2012 20:09

I would ask him too if it's causing you upset (which it clearly is)

ihatethecold · 03/09/2012 20:10

Bitter Hmm taw

sparklekitty · 03/09/2012 20:13

OhBuggerandArse I was about to say exactly the same thing. I'd been with my now DH a few months when I was woken by this, ignored it. It happened a few times and I woke him up and had a bit of a go, poor guy was really confused and took a while to work out that he was rubbing his feet together. He still does it and it annoys me so he gets woken up with a 'you're foot wanking again' he usually giggles and stops.

Original poster
jarsofclay · 03/09/2012 20:14

I am not bitching about whatsoever. I am asking if anyone has had the same experience so I know what to do.
If you don't have anything constructive to say why not Piss off to somewhere and vent your pent up anger on someone who deserves it.
You think you are clearly experienced in all this don't you? Maybe a tad too much maybe - is that your problem?
Get a grip and stop being so bloody stupid and trying to cause problems when someone has asked a perfectly valid question.

OP posts:
ErikNorseman · 03/09/2012 20:14

See tawse's posts? Y'all know what to do!

Spuddybean · 03/09/2012 20:16

i love the thought that masturbating is some kind of seduction technique. That if you want sexy time with someone you just start knocking one out next to them getting annoyed if they don't join in. That must be what that bloke who started wanking next to me on the 237 was thinking!

Houseofplain · 03/09/2012 20:21

What more can I do?!?! Hahahaha. taw

Stop knocking one off in the bed and pay more attention to his wife!

Original poster
jarsofclay · 03/09/2012 20:22

Spuddy, if that is what is happening I would be seriously worried about his mental state. I very rarely say no when he wants it and he knows that.

OP posts:
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