constantly arguing about housework I've had enoough

[complexo]

He thinks he doesnt have to do any fucking thing if he doesn't feel like it and I know this exactly the way his father behaves so it is down to the way he has been brought up and isn't gonna change. I would rather being a single mother than spend my life wasting my time cleaning after a grown man.

Also will have to spend money and call the electrician tomorrow and keep the kitchen lights ON for when he is back from work.

So he basicly woke up, argued with me for 1,5, took dd out for 3 hours dumped her with me in ther sitting room when is is supposeed to be my relaxing day for me to deal with dinner and eveyrthing else. He is with the ipad now. Hopefully looking for solicitor but I bet it is porno. And I said he is a good father.....

I'd give him a month to sort himself out. He's doing tiny things now because he's insecure. He knows you want to leave but doesn't really think you'll do it, he's just making token gestures. You know it'll be back to how it was within a few days. I would draw up a plan, put it in front of him and tell him this is what he needs to do for you to give him another shot before leaving. Make it an equal effort by also explaining what you are going to do in the same time so that he doesn't try to accuse you of dumping everything on him. Tell him that if he gets the next month right he will be expected to get it right EVERY month after that. It's then up to him to decide if he can cope with it, wants it enough or doesn't care after all.

You do not deserve to be dragged down by a sponging layabout and it's a terrible example to have in front of your dd. You might not see it now, but picture a life without him with a tidy house, maybe a couple of friends coming over or your dd's friends and not having to make excuses for the slob in the corner.

Don't doubt yourself, getting you and your dd away from him is the absolute best thing you can do.

He is lazy, abusive and won't change. You are doing the right thing, getting out.

Thanks everyone. I know every couple fight, is the swear, name calling and threats that abnormal or it just happens? Anniversary is tomorrow messages and cards started to arrive, it sucks. Yesterday night I asked one more time about the kitchen's light since he had been out and came back with a bag. He said: oh I bought the thing and forgot..and I could see this was genuine so his brain really doesn't work that well. He fixed the light in the night in the dark, so quickly less than 10 minutes, I wonder why he didn't just done it before? This morning he went to work, he wasn't on the rota, came back with food...he is prone to do small shopping round the corner while I just. The supermarket and buy everything. I had a lie in and he sorted dd's breakfast but is with ipad since with Tv on for dd. He had plans to take her to the t I'm waiting for few replies for play dates so he will stay in all by himself and the house still need hoovering and toilet need scrubbing so let's see.

And he had a shower 1st thing in the morning.... There is a lot of back story that would explain why we reached this point it is soooo loooong

He is cooking brunch and I will take dd to a nice park a bit further away, he doesn't want to come, says will stay in and sort some stuff out....

Sounds promising... please keep us updated :D

Came home late at around 7pm, dishes done, floor done, washing done, bins done and some general tyde up. Toilet, bathroom and dd's room not done and no dinner but there was soup in the freezer and he knew I was coming from Asda, I usually bring ready dinner. Atmosphere good but we are not ready to talk yet.

I am addicted to my iPad, thanks to mumsnet! And I hate housework! But love my daily shower....
How old is he? Is it too late to change?

31. Is it too late?