constantly arguing about housework I've had enoough

[complexo]

He thinks he doesnt have to do any fucking thing if he doesn't feel like it and I know this exactly the way his father behaves so it is down to the way he has been brought up and isn't gonna change. I would rather being a single mother than spend my life wasting my time cleaning after a grown man.

He is a good father and hard working. He improved a lot in some points and we do have a proble$m with culture clash but sometimes I do feel he is more of a teenage son than a husband. I wonder if I demand too much? Or maybe because my ex was very clean and house proud but also extremely intelligent and active with an amazing social network and social skills whereas current one isn't very bright has learning difficulties ( I don't want to sound nasty ) and doesn't want to have no social life to the point many of my friends never ever even saw him.

I don't think washing and cleaning up after yourself is asking too much. It's basic stuff, but if his parents are not too hot on this then it's an uphill struggle. Could you set him small targets? I don't think threatening him would be effective, he doesn't know any better. It will take time though, you need to think whether this is something that you're prepared to do. Some men are better off working, it gives them a sense of purpose IYKWIM so it may help. Is he good at DIY? Gardening?

He is good at DIY and I give him targets he will do if he 'feels like'. Drives mad because he promises he will do and postpones to the maximum. He doesn't do stuff when it is needs but when he WANTS and that is why I called him the biggest selfish I've ever met. He had 3 weeks off work and haven't done simple tasks he agreed. He will be back on Monday and I'm not sure if things will get done and I'm talking about clean his cigarettes buts and ashtrays in the balcony and fix the light in the kitchen. He says he need to buy a new whatever and it is talking 3 fucking weeks. We have no lights in the kitchen for 3 months now. I refuse to call the landlord because he said he would call. Than he said he would do himself. What a prat.

It sounds as though you've given up, complex. It's better for a child to see their parents happy, even if this means that they are not together. They can pick up on hostility and unhappyness, and you're going to resent your partner more than you do now if you allow things to continue.

Not much respect or affection then? Really sounds as if you'd be better off on your own.

It is hard for me to leave I'm a CM I'm based here. It is gonna be hard to get another landlord to agree plus have to wait for other inspection. He should leave but won't.

My one is a prat too. Should have known better then to go out with a man who still lived with his mum and eats shit like a kid, no pasta, no rice, no fruit and no veg other then potatoes, just shit doesn't even drink hot drinks he lives off cola and red bull instead.

I'm not his fucking mother

Is he on the tenancy agreement/lease?

Wow SUN are they the same man. Honestly I would rather be with my EX even though he was a cheater. I need a proper m$an. I'm sure this one won't cheat on me coz which other idiot will want him? It was the biggest mistake of my life. What makes me angrier is that I was on the pil. Should have know better he was a fucking virgin at 24. HUGE RED FUCKING FLAGS how could I miss? Hating myself for it.

I know it is bad but I wish he would dye because evemn if we sepsarate I will still have to deal with him.

You need to pack his bags when he's at work, and ask his parents to collect him. You can't live like this.

We where both virgins when we met i was older then that when i first had sex I'm older then him, he's useless he was all right before we had our son that he moaned about for years now he's a prat who just wants to sit on his arse in another room watching tv or playing with his phone etc.

He's welcome to cheat on me if he likes might learn something cos he never listens to me.

You either leave him and drop the child minding and start afresh, or make life difficult for him. I would give my ex so many warnings before I started throwing his dirty stuff at his head. Of course, we'd have an argument, but at least the shit would pile up around him and not me until he got rid of it. If it really got bad I would throw random items of his down the stairs, not caring if it broke or not. This included his games console which he forever left out on the floor of the lounge. As this was downstairs already, it was thrown in the garden instead.

My boyfriend is messy too but if I ask him to sort it out he will. Shame it doesn't stop him from doing it again but hey ho. When I'm feeling crowded by crap I get a bin liner out, dump his shit in it and throw it in the shed. When he asks where x item is I tell him to go look in the shed.

Don't let anybody mess with you, and don't let anyone tell you that you're neurotic or a clean freak. You don't need to live with a pig.

Hi Sun. I wanst a virgin I had an ex husband and many boyfriends before him I just don't know what I was thinking about when I got together with this dick. He is bad in bed as weLl. Thanks everyone for all the comments, I wish he can find another woman and go quietly because right now every time I try to sort it out we end up fighting and my daughter doesn't deserve it.

I don't do anything for mine doesn't make any difference, he cooks his own shit food hardly ever cleans the tray tho it looks nasty with all the dried on shit , i do the washing but i don't put it away after getting moaned at for putting stuff in the wrong place in the wardrobe etc, his stuff is in a permanent pile on the floor, he just fishes bits out and irons them when he wants them, there is a tower of used toilet rolls in the bog because he doesn't chuck em when empty and I'm not doing it so i make pyramid out of em

I just don't like you saying there's something wrong about being a virgin at 24, i was very shy and I'm very picky about looks so i just didn't want to for a long time.

I'd start making to leave.

When my MIL used to say to me that every man is the same or it is a man's thing I used to say: I'm sorry you had such a poor experience with men in your life......now she says: every man in our family is the same and than I say : that is why I'm not staying in the family for much longer. They think I'm nasty. I think I'm honest.

Sorry Sun. But what I meant was that no woman wanted him before. He was a virgin and never had a girfriend before me. I was hurt by my ex who was a serial cheater and saw it as a good thing: a $man with no past and in love with me as I was his 1st woman. In my country man start having sex very early but ewe have the macho man culture.

Phone makes me do typos

You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, complex. You're with a frog.

I want to open a new thread: how to make your husaband find a lover and leave you alone?? But can't be bothered to type everything again on my phone or even open the computer