GS - regarding arguements. Getting up early arguement doesn't sound an easy one to solve. She clearly feels the need to get up at that time. I don't get up very early but I know I find I am unable to be quiet in the mornings. My DP sometimes annoys me by getting out of bed later than me and rushing out of the door saying he is going to be late leaving me to get myself and DS ready. I am always late at work. I started getting round this by tackling him in the evening and asking if he could do a little more in the mornings. I also asked him to do specific things for me such as take my keys downstairs or make sure DS's shoes are by the front door as it's the little things which make me late.
The affection thing will come after you've sorted out the other bits.
As for tidying, well we have a similar thing. I am not nearly as tidy as DP so I just try hard not to do the things that really wind him up (such as leaving coat, bag etc on the floor). We both try to keep the lounge tidy at the end of the evening so that at least one room is tidy. COmpromise I'm afraid.
DP and me are a bit sickening in that we never argue - just not the arguementative types really. In fact it's taken me years to get up the courage to confront people about anything so it's always calm and thought out when I do!
Your overall verdict is a bit harsh. If you had a nice weekend away then that is a REALLY good thing! Try and have more weekends away.
Oh and stop refering to a "failing marriage" - I'm no counsellor but I'm sure that can't help your mental attitude.