Sorry to hear about your difficulties. You're probably aware that you're not in as good a position as you would be if you were married, but if you have children their needs are always the priority. Here's some reading I put together for another thread:
Relationship Breakdown and Divorce ? Advice and Links
General
Read everything you can get your hands on. Get familiar with the language of family law and procedure and try to get an understanding of your rights BEFORE you see a solicitor. Get word of mouth recommendations for family lawyers in your area if possible. If you have children at school, ask mums you are friendly with if they know of anyone who can make a recommendation in your area. These days there are few people who don?t know of anyone who has been through a divorce or separation ? there?s a lot of knowledge and support out there!
If there are children involved, their interests will always come first. It is the children?s right to maintain a meaningful relationship with the non-resident parent (NRP) ? not the other way around. Children are not possessions to be ?fairly? divided between separating parents. Parents have no rights, only responsibilities. A divorce will not be granted where children are involved unless there are agreed arrangements for finance, and care of the children (?Statement of Arrangements for Children?). It is obviously quicker and cheaper if this can be agreed but if there is no agreement, the Court will make an Order (?Residence and Contact? regarding children, ?Financial Order? or ?Ancillary Relief? in the case of Finance)
Many family lawyers will offer the first half hour consultation free. Make use of this. Don?t just stick with the first lawyer you find ? shop around and find someone you feel comfortable with. You may be in for a long haul, so it helps if you can find a solicitor you?re happy with.
If you can?t find any local recommendations, always see a solicitor who specialises in Family Law. You can search by area here:
www.resolution.org.uk/
You can also find family law solicitors here:
www.lawsociety.org.uk/areasoflaw/view=areasoflawdetails.law?AREAOFLAW=Family%20law&AREAOFLAWID=36
Check your eligibility for Legal Aid here:
legalaidcalculator.justice.gov.uk/calculators/eligiCalc?execution=e1s1
Some family law solicitors publish online feedback from clients ? Google solicitors to see if any recommendations or feedback exists.
Mediation
You will be encouraged to attend mediation. If there has been violence or emotional abuse, discuss this with your solicitor first. Always get legal advice, or at the very least make sure you are aware of your legal rights, before you begin mediation.
Married or Living Together?
This is a key question. If you are married, generally speaking you have greater protection when a relationship breaks down.
Legal Issues around marriage/cohabitation and relationship breakdown are explained here:
www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_living_together_marriage_and_civil_partnership_e/living_together_and_marriage_legal_differences.htm#Ending_a_relationship
static.advicenow.org.uk/files/benefits-and-livingtogether-2010-11-1161.pdf
DirectGov advice on divorce, separation and relationship breakdown:
www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Divorceseparationandrelationshipbreakdown/index.htm
Legal Rights are further explained here:
www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/legal.php#children_relationship_breakdown
I found these guides from law firms quite informative and easy to read ? there are others of course:
www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/uploaded/documents/Surviving-Family-Conflict-and-Divorce---2nd-edition.pdf
www.terry.co.uk/hindex.html
Finance
Before you see a family law solicitor, get hold of every single piece of financial information you can, and take copies. Wage slips, P60s, tax returns, employment contracts, pensions and other statements ? savings, current account and mortgages, deeds, rental leases, utility bills, council tax bills, credit statements. Are there joint assets such as a home, pensions, savings, shares?
Handy tax credits calculator:
taxcredits.hmrc.gov.uk/Qualify/DIQHousehold.aspx
Handy 5 Minute benefit check, tax and housing benefit calculators:
www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/
Child Maintenance Calculator:
taxcredits.hmrc.gov.uk/Qualify/DIQHousehold.aspx
Further advice and support
www.maypole.org.uk/
www.womensaid.org.uk/
www.gingerbread.org.uk/
england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships
(Re Shelter, if you are not in England follow the link at the top)