He is threatening to take our son

[DoubleYew]

`Have namechanged as he knows I come on here.

He is saying he is just going to come and take him. Ds is just 2, never had overnight contact. Father has chosen to see him twice in a month both times brought him back early as he was upset. ds very upset after these visits.

He had a nervous breakdown last year, is suicidle, self harming. He can't seem to put ds needs first, tells me he is going to introduce him to his new girlfriend (of 6 wks) tomorrow. I said I ts not appropriate so soon, he needs to settle in regular contact. Ended in a big row, saying he can do what he wants and will come and take him, I can't stop him.

He still has a key as won't give it back. Phoned police they said its an offense for me to stop him coming in. We live in country, no buses tomorrow so I can't go anywhere. Neighbour will be at work, don't have anyone else nearby.

No answer from social work. Already have contact with family mediation but won't be in til monday now.

What can I do?

How's things Double?

If u are in Scotland then PC plod has it all wrong! If his name is not on the mortgage/tenancy agreement then he would have to show a household bill dated within the last 6 months to probe he lives there. If hes not on the council tax bill i would show the police that next time they say its an offence! x

Not great, having a bit of a bad day. Ds should be seeing his dad today and does seem to miss him.

Yes Smile that is what CAB thought. One less thing to worry about.

Has he been in contact? Has your ex improved in his attitude at all?

Did you manage to get in touch with a solicitor?

at just two you can easily distract - dont let any of your guilt over contact with daddy get in the way. ds will be fine even if doesnt see dad for weeks - just answer question with "will see daddy soon, another day, now lets go play ..."

Yes but I put my foot down about phoning etc. Still thinks I can't accept he's moved on and I'm trying to make him miserable rather than thinking what is best for ds. He is stuck in that toddler mode of the world revolving around him. My own opinion is its something like attachment disorder, not male pnd as his therapist allegedly says.

WA have been brilliant, will arrange counselling (and related childcare), chased up solicitor and helped me think through taking ds to see him in a public place rather than have him come out to the house. Waiting for ss to decide whether they need to get involved, in the meantime they said it was up to me. Solicitor in a few days.

Ds has speech delay so gets frustrated as he can't really make himself understood. Plus he's teething molars and has another cold. But also he's been upset as he's not been seeing his dad as much this summer (his dad's choice) so I feel I'm compounding that.

That sounds much more positive!

Yes you are right I am getting a lot of support. I just wish it wasn't happening to me. I used to read threads like this and think, good god, imagine living like that. And now it is happening to me.

Hi double yes there is often the whiff of a soap opera around ones life when things go wrong, but don't worry lots of us have been there, do it's not just you!

I think regular contact with your DS's dad is to be avoided for you but needs to be established for DS & the best way to facilitate that is to go for a contact centre. It will also mean your Ex had support in learning how to play effectively with his son (doesn't come naturally for a lot of men) & there are distractions & toys there to make it more fun for both.

Glad you are getting all this support, it's very hard but you'll get through.