What can i do to make our relationship better?

[Emmielu]

As a whole there isnt anything massively wrong with my relationship with my BF. He met my daughter recently after 9 months together & they get on like a house on fire. I dont spend all my time with him, he works & i have DD to look after being that its the holidays too. But when DD is out for the day with her godmother, i pop over to see him. We had a rocky moment 4 months ago to the point where we split for a month. I wanted to make an effort to make our relationship better but didnt know how. We hadnt made dinner for eachother, gone to the pub together etc. All we did was either watch tv, chat, or have sex. I think it got to us both. Over that month we were apart we did a lot of talking & a lot of home truths came out. Anyway back to now, i'd like to make an effort to do something. Little things mean a lot to me & him. I'm seeing him for an hour or so tomorrow while hes on his lunch break & although i dont have enough time to make him lunch, i was thinking of maybe picking up a nice lunch before meeting him from work.

What little things do you do with you OH's that make them smile & feel loved?

Can I just ask what little things your OH has done to make you smile and feel loved since you had your little chat?

We hadnt made dinner for eachother, gone to the pub together etc. All we did was either watch tv, chat, or have sex

Yes, what's gone on improvement wise for the last 4 months? Tell me a few nice things he's done for you. Is he putting effort in now?

I hadnt thought of that at all. I was just glad my DD & him got on so well. It was like a massive relief for me. Well it was my birthday 2 weeks ago & since i couldnt be with him on the day (spent the day with family) a few days later he treated me to a day out but im not the sort of person who likes having money spent on me so it was a cheap day. He sends a random i love you text every now & again but i want to start doing things to make a change. I just cant think of anything.

What sort of "change" do you want to see happening OP?

How far away from you does he live from you? How often do you see him or are you still sort of "just popping in"?

Do you think he want's to do the whole "relationship" thing?

As with the other two posters, Emmielu, my concern is that you might be shouldering most of the responsibility for making that change, whether you know it or not. I'm not saying that's definitely the case, but something doesn't quite add up in your posts.

Does he make you laugh? Do you feel good around him (and not just because he gets on with your DD)? Do you feel you can be free to be yourself?

9 months in and you still "just pop in", don't see each other on birthdays, don't go to the pub. Red flag to me sorry.

A relationship shouldn't be hard work. After only 10 months together I still see my relationship with my DP as fairly new and hope to God as little changes as possible in the future as things are so comfortable!

What sort of changes do you want to see?

It's hard for randoms on the internet to know what this man would like you to do, because we don't know him and different men like different things. Have you asked him what he would like? ANd does he ask you what you would like?

He may, of course, be quite content with you just popping round to suck his dick from time to time, in which case you are onto a loser if you want more.

I honestly wouldn't bother, I'd bin him.
It sounds like the relationship I was in when I was 16.

Ah sgb, I love your bluntness

Thanks for the help ladies.

You shouldn't have to be making an effort with a boyfriend of only nine months.... It's people who've been together years & years that might have to pep it all up a little. I think the whole thing sounds far too much like hard work.