Honey traps and stunning women aplenty - dating thread 20!

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20!!!!!!

Bloody hell :)

Llaregub that's good news - and happy birthday for Monday!

just to add I've been waiting 4 years to try and find someone who wants a second date with me. No-one has less luck at dating than me :) though hopefully that will change now I have my own Dating Advisory Committee

Woohoo Llareggub !

yay for 2nd date! ;-)

sponge you are getting sorted out! :)

ugh. I'm drafting my 'oh! incidentally, I have Herpes, careful your cock-might fall-off email.' this is not the most fun to be had in the early stages of a fling potential new relationship.

Snape. Can I ask a question? Do you need to have protected sex even if you don't have an active outbreak? Not that you wouldn't use protection but you know what I mean.
I'm chatting to an architect and someone who has been celibate for a year and a half today.

I'd always have protected sex anyway unless I was trying for a very, very late baby so it's a bit of a moot point :-) You can kind of tell when somethings up - or about to be up (no pun intended) so can act accordingly, but on the basis of better safe than sorry, always condoms. because thats how i got in this mess to start with

Is it wise to mention the herpes by email snape? would it not be better seeing if anything was going to happen and then mention it then (in person)?

It's tricky. I'd need to reveal something about myself too that doesn't seem obvious to the eye and I always find it hard to know when and how. And when I dont it hangs over me like a cloud.

yeah, it's hanging over me a bit just now - it's pretty evident that 'something' lots and lots of kinky shagging is going to happen - an email lets him digest, research and decide - in person is horribly awkward and might see me in tears of frustration if he doesnt react well.

plus i'll run it past time first, if i may, for some tweaking

Ooooh, tough one snape. It's a conversation I'd want to have in person but we are all different so you need to do what works best for you.

oh god no, the thought of having the conversation in person actually makes me feel physically sick! I can just about maintain an air of cool when i'm writing about it - in person it just adds to several self esteem issues and my internal little catholic nun starts wanging on about sin and perversion.

I cant imagine revealing it other than by email tbh, can totally understand why you wouldnt want that convo face to face.

The stuff above re contraception etc has reminded me of another likely red flag re horrible man from yesterday, a few comments from which it was clear he wasn't looking to wear a condom, which I was a bit about at the time, esp so coupled with the pregnancy thing I mentioned before. The more I think about it the more I think it was a lucky escape...

Wow, I can't believe how quickly the dating threads move.

Fab that you have met somebody exciting Snape. You are a lovely brave person. I hope your prof sees the courage and decency in you and is not phased by your email. I have been trying to think how I would react and think I would not be bothered if I liked a person. Hopefully he will be the same.

I am ashamed to say despite belong involved in healthcare I don't know enough about HSV so had a quick look on t' Internet. I thought this website was sensible and reassuring. You are probably way ahead of me so sorry if I am teaching you to suck eggs but I will post the link anyway.

www.herpes.org.uk/

I guess somehow people create a stigma when really it is just a cold sore in a different place. I know I am being a bit simplistic but maybe don't make too big a deal of it either.

Sorry, I am not at all sure this is coming out how I mean it to. I guess all I really want to say is I hope so very much it all works out for you. You sound TOTALLY lovely and fab.

EHoneybadger thank you, so very much! :) That's a far better link than NHS choices, so you've helped by your contribution...and your post was kind and thoughtful and sweet, so thank you. :)

The draft is drafted. It's there to be sent should i find the need (but I will pre-empt by a few hours it with a photo of my naked arse. just to clarify what is at stake!)

I'm back and we have food in the house.

snape

yay food!

sponge meant to say 'horrible-man-from-yesterday now just sounding creepy and nasty and i'm glad you think you've had a lucky escape, because you really have. now we can find you someone lovely!

Snape. I sympathise re herpes. I am in a strange position of having no idea whether I have it or not. I have a reoccurring coldsore on the end of my nose so have type 1 but have tested blood positive for type 2 as well though I have never had an outbreak. Apparently they can't say whether I definitely have it because whilst type 2 antibodies mean it to be 'most likely' it's not a definite and you don have to get outbreaks to have it either either way I told S recently I may or may not have it. He doesn't care. He doesn't care when I have my cold sore and still tries to kiss me when i try turn my head to the side.

I have had the nose cold sore since a young teen so in all honesty of I do have the other type, it was probably self infection but such is life. Nowt to be done about it but honesty and protection.

Scatty - outbreak or not condom is needed. It's more infectious with an outbreak but can be transmitted any time, just is a very low risk without an outbreak.

Snape I love you even more now. In a non lesbian way you understand?

Sponge it was most definitely a lucky escape! No two ways about it!!

Chaotic did you buy cheesecake? I'm successfully low carbing but keep dreaming of cheesecake. I am craving cheesecake!!

Time no cheesecake. I did buy doughnuts for DS but nothing else.

sponge the more I hear about yesterday man the more I think you've had a lucky escape.

Cheesecake? Doughnuts! Gah!

Bumped into another colleague yesterday who remarked how much weight I'd lost; mentioned to the prof that I'd been very overweight in the past & he commented he prefered curvy girls, he'd 'loved touching my soft, beautiful hip' when we'd walked back to the station with his hand tucked in my waistband.

So it might go ok. We'll see. & thanks time really do appreciate your input, I trust you. :-)

Hi Anna
'The busiest day for dating sites is 27 December. Isn't that also the day thaf the most people commit suicide? ;) That's why they never replied!'

we sure need more of that black humour on this thread :o

you work for a dating site, wowser!

You are welcome Snape

The Prof sounds wonderful and I will force myself to eat a whole cheesecake if he doesn't understand. And that will be some hard task.

Fate as far as I know most people have been exposed to the herpes virus, not everyone gets symptoms because their immune system keeps it in check.

I get a cold sore on my nose if I'm stressed, think you can also get them on your fingers,