Honey traps and stunning women aplenty - dating thread 20!

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20!!!!!!

Bloody hell :)

It's just a misunderstanding Sponge. In this instance I would try to sort it out, suggest another date and go from there. Further assessment is needed before you bin him off completely.

sponge i thought until you went exclusive you were free to date and anyway, who the hell is he to judge you. You went online for a while So what, so do i occasionally just to see what is happening with my profile. He sounds like a prick. I was dating someone, who messaged me when I was on there a few days after a date, and was just chatty, ie hey how are you, you logged in too? Etc, and we chatted on there for a while. It was good, both open about it, h said he was looking to see who had deleted him, i was looking to see who wanted to add me, etc, it was nice to be open about it, and we enjoyed spending our time together.

Or he might just be a man who has been messed about and is very wary of it happening again. We have a habit of jumping to conclusions too, don't we?

I would guess he hadn't online dated much.... Might be a good thing

I am his first ever online date.

I have tried to explain. He said I was a bullshitter.

I've sent a final text saying I am very much not, and asking for a chance to explain properly. But I rather think that's that.

Wow, that sounds very aggressive.
If he doesn't know how online dating works, I can understand. You could, if you think its worth the effort. Find an article thst explains online dating, how It's multi dating until It's exclusive...
Or, Fuck him of for being rude and ott.

I think in his mind we were exclusive.

turns out I had a boyfriend without knowing who has now dumped me before I even knew we were going out.

sponge so you've tried to explain, he doesnt believe you - i think it's best to find that out about someone at this early stage, don't you?

Yes, you have given it your best shot. I would leave it now, I don't like the aggression.

Yep, you have explained.... Hes called you a bullshitter. No second date happened... Yet he assumed you were his gf. In which case, wtf was he doing on the dating site??

Insane. Lucky escape I think.

Or better still say you researched online dating on mumsnet and send them here!!! JUST SO WE CAN SLOWLY KILL HIM FOR TREATING YOU LIKE THAT.

You have had a lucky escape, i thought a first date was just a meeting really anyway?

Good lord, you couldn't make it up could you?!

I finally find someone who is interested, except they're too interested

I actually feel physically sick now. Honestly, why me?

No, DS hasn't been with his dad in almost a year. :(
And definitely not unsupervised. He ticks virtually all the boxes on the risk assessment for child abduction.
But still unregulated by court, and that was my petition, not him asking for access.
At this rate, DS will be 18!

I am cautious, but I don't really get scared by his threats. He has simply managed to screw up his relationship with me (first) and then DS (who obviously doesn't know about the threats he didn't witness, but tells his dad he won't be able to see him in person).

Re. OKC profile: red flags, red flags, red flags. He could be my ex! (he's in the UK, BTW, I'm not)

MLM that's not slutty at all. Perfectly decent.

I just remembered something he told me, that both his Ex-ws were pregnant within 6 weeks of meeting him, and married shortly thereafter.

That might explain a few things.

but sponge it isn't you!

'too interested' is creepy, really.

I'm actually quite upset with how he's behaved. It's not very nice is it?

I sent him a long reply, and even apologised not that I really have anything to apologise for. and nothing at all back.

of course you're upset - it's the latest in a long line of rubbishness. try to see it as an isolated incident - even if you feel it isn't. And buy some chocolate and have a lovely bath or shower or watch something non-rom-com.

My current plan is to finish work, go home, go to the gym (w/o PM is at all possible and go and have a nice angry run, then a nice angry spin class followed by an appreciable period of time in the freezing cold plunge pool to reset my hormones.

Sponge,

What a twat.

You are well rid.

email email I got an email!!!

I remember when I was little, if anyone said I was lying/making stuff up, and I wasn't, I used to cry and cry. It was the unfairness, and being judged for something I hadn't done which upset me.

Much like now :(

I do understand him being a bit at me being online, if he isn't familiar with dating. But to not even give me a chance is pretty mean & horrible tbh. It's only 1 date, it's not like we had been together for weeks/months...

snape what does it say??!

I had emailed him the link for the OKCupid blog where they tear apart messages.

he replied with a link to a website that details conversations overheard in Manhattan - but he had spent ages going through the website to find the best quotes and had then copied and pasted them into the email.

prof: Ohhh, you beee-atch! That is going to be an enormous time-suck...

It's only fair that I scupper your chances of doing any work this afternoon too. Check out: www.overheardinnewyork.com/

but I've culled some of the choicest ones here:

xx

Me I have a very busy life. I have a gym to go to and children to drag up. I have all this time-travel* to sort out and an evil master plan in ruins to half-heartedly attend to. I haven't managed very much housework this week.

I am now sitting at my desk in tears of laughter. You, Sir, have killed my afternoon.

I hate you!**

Sx

*ahh! time travel, excellent! Spunk away the afternoon in fits of giggles, pop back later and actually do some work...

** except I really don't, do I...? ;-)

sponge - Honestly, I do not think you blew this, I do not think you did anything wrong and I don't think you have anything to apologise for. Explain maybe (if he had had the decency to ask for an explanation rather than jumping to conclusions) but not apologise. He's the one who's treated you badly. He's made a bunch of assumptions (one date=exclusive, sponge online=she's looking for someone else) and then started being nasty to you without even asking or discussing any of it with you. I think you have had a very lucky escape, this does not sound to me like the beginnings of a healthy relationship.

The way I see it, you had a fun night out, you've done nothing wrong and now you can move on.

Ooh snape - love it! Sounds like you two really click!!!!