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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

DH is mad at me again:(

62 replies

Scrounginscum · 17/08/2012 17:02

I always seem to be wrong :(.

First there's my diet. I want to lose weight and get healthy. Part of the reason I put on weight was I was skipping meals to save money then would eat junk like a bit of chocolate because I find it so difficult not to eat.

Dh on the other hand finds it easy. We are still have a tight budget so I was talking about meal planning to be healthy and cheap. DH told me I was being stupid and I should just stop eating. He says only obese gluttons like me eat as often as I do. He cites as proof that I have only lost 5lb so far.

Today I had a migraine so after the school run and feeding Ds I went back to bed for a bit. He's moaning that he has done loads of housework (vacuumed the living room)while I have done nothing is only made lunch, cleaned hob and worktops, washed dishes, put in washing, and got baking stuff sorted fir dd's cake. I know the plan had been for me to get a lot more done but I have done more than nothing.

Finally he's annoyed with me that DS won't nap for more than 5 min and is going through the separation anxiety phase so screams every time I leave the room to try and get things done.

OP posts:

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 17/08/2012 17:04

Your problem is that you are married to an arsehole, there is nothing the matter with you whatsoever.

Why do you put up with it?

SirBoobAlot · 17/08/2012 17:04

He sounds vile, to be honest. Does he always treat you like this?

KatieScarlett2833 · 17/08/2012 17:06

The biggest weight you need to lose is the arse you married.

IslaValargeone · 17/08/2012 17:06

Sorry my lovely, the only wrong thing you are doing is continuing to be with him.

wednesdaygirl · 17/08/2012 17:07

Your headache was prob through hunger
I would just go ahead and meal plan it will save you ££ plus hopefully you wont have to skip meals

The best way to lose weight is to eat little and often

Original poster

Scrounginscum · 17/08/2012 17:09

He's only really started creating about Ds screaming but then he's only just started the separation thing.

He really has never been able to understand how I can be hungry he says I put him off eating. Tbh I've taken to secret eating sometimes that's not good is it.

OP posts:

izzyizin · 17/08/2012 17:10

You don't need need or deserve this arsehole putting you down, honey. You'll have an infinitely better life without him in it.

OhGood · 17/08/2012 17:11

katiescarlett

Does sound like he is being a bit of a prat.

Original poster

Scrounginscum · 17/08/2012 17:13

I'm finding the meal planning difficult DH won't eat mince, vegetarian dishes or stew. Dd won't eat beef, pork or anything with spices in it. Difficult to please everyone.

OP posts:

Notasdaftasilook · 17/08/2012 17:32

Maybe they should come up with some meal ideas seeing as how they're so fussy,

wednesdaygirl · 17/08/2012 17:59

Make yourself meals and tell him to have toast

Chubfuddler · 17/08/2012 18:01

You could lose a good 12 stone if you gave him the elbow. Hes not very nice, is he?

BlackberryIce · 17/08/2012 18:03

It's threads like this that reiterate to me how good it Is to be a lone parent!

He is giving you an eating disorder!

scentednappyhag · 17/08/2012 18:06

What?! No, seriously, what?
He says that you put him off eating?
Fucking jizzrag!
He's being an utter and complete knob, tell him to FTFO etc, and concentrate on building your confidence back up.

Original poster

Scrounginscum · 17/08/2012 18:19

Yes he says I eat so much it's disgusting.

OP posts:

scentednappyhag · 17/08/2012 18:24

HE'S disgusting.
People eat, or they die. Eating is a bloody normal thing to do! How dare he make you feel disgusting.
Please don't believe him, you don't have to eat in secret, you just need shot of your pet fuck head!

NatashaBee · 17/08/2012 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

javotte · 17/08/2012 18:27

I am very overweight and my (skinny) husband would never, ever say something like that to me. It is not normal.
Plan your own meals and let him have beans on toast if he's not pleased.
How old is DD? I can understand a child not liking spices, but beef and pork?

PurplePidjin · 17/08/2012 18:29

And he brings what to your life?

In addition to what has already been said, i would suggest you're probably comfort-eating due to low self-esteem - caused by his despicable attitude. You'll most likely find that kicking him to the kerb goes a long way to solving both your weight and financial troubles!

solidgoldbrass · 17/08/2012 19:02

Your H is abusive and hates women. This is why you feel ill and miserable. Sorry but this is glaringly obvious from your posts - I am not blaming you for not seeing it, it won't have started all at once, it will have been gradual. But there is a certain mindset among a certain type of woman-hating man that finds the idea of women eating inherently disgusting; they think women should eat much less than men and never for pleasure.

cupcake78 · 17/08/2012 19:12

Agree he's abusive, horrible, disrespectful and putting you down over and over again!

Where is the support such as 'you look beautiful no matter what size or shape you are', 'your such a good mum because you have so much patience with our dd', 'thankyou for putting so much effort and time into our family'. ??????

This is what a good kind man would say to you. I'm sorry your husband is so horrible to you. You don't have to put up with!

cupcake78 · 17/08/2012 19:14

Sorry 'ds' not 'dd'

Margerykemp · 17/08/2012 19:15

Who controls the money you have for food? Who does the food shopping? He sounds controlling to the point of abuse.

Do you feel safe at home?

Has he ever been aggressive with you?

This is most likely only going to get worse and you really need to start formulating an escape plan.

Notmadeofrib · 17/08/2012 19:21

give pollock to the bollock... or doesn't he like fish either?

OxfordBags · 17/08/2012 19:25

I bet you have a lovely figure and eat a completely normal amount and have nice table manners. I also bet that your DS's separation issues and poor sleeping are down to feeling really anxious because Daddy is so nasty to Mummy and he can't relax or leave you alone (wants to be protected from nasty Daddy). I also bet your H is a colossal bell-end who doesn't deserve any woman, never mind you.

Like others have said, he is giving you an eating disorder. Actually, I suspect that HE has an eating disorder and is tranfering his nasty feelings about food and his own body onto you. Going on about portion sizes, saying that seeing someone eating is off-putting (presuming he's not just being a total cunt) and being really picky as an adult are all pointing to something negative going on with him. Not you.

Oh, and you can be a prick and have an eating disorder too. The one doesn't cause the other. And don't be a martyr and skip food to save money. Money being tight is not as bad as an unhealthy, weak, ratty mother for your kids. Or for you. He is making you feel so ashamed about food that you think it's optional and it's not.

PS a bit of diet advice: You must start eating regularly and not feel ashamed of yourself. When you skip meals, your body thinks it's being starved so when you do next eat, it will take as many calories, etc., as possible from it and try to fatten you up to ward off the starvation. The eay to lose weight is actually to eat little and often and stuff that doesn't make your blood sugar fluctuate too much.

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