It is very difficult to know where to begin so everything will make sense.
I will start at the event which has caused the horrible mess then fill in the details etc from before and after then.
On Saturday night on the way home from a night out my mum told my dad that she didn?t want to be with him anymore and he went ballistic and choked her until she passed out.
In the few weeks before this has happened my mum has started to get distant with all of us and saying nasty and upsetting things to my dad.
On his part he has grown over the last few months from being a very placid man into having bouts of anger and road rage totally out of proportion for what was involved.
She works in a local workers club four times a week and when not working dad will also go in there but he has been becoming more unhappy about going in over the last few months due to the type of people mum has gotten very friendly with, i.e., young mothers who drink all day with their children sat in the pushchair, parents who have 13 year olds sat in there at one in the morning while they drink, glasses of whiskey at 10 in the morning every morning, etc. The sort of people she would not normally give the time of day to.
Dad hates them and we have all seen the change in her over the last few weeks as she has become friendlier with them and makes up any excuse to stay in the club.
One thing which I do have to point out is that with his support over the last 18 months she has gone from size 24 to nearly size 14 and she does look good for it.
When she told him that she didn?t want to be with him anymore, he asked her if it was because of her weight loss and she thought she could do better and she told him that she could do far better than something like him. He says he cannot remember what he did and has no memory of what happened until he was picked up walking along in the middle of a dual carriageway by the police trying to get hit by a lorry.
He has been charged with assault by beating and has to wait a few weeks until it goes to court.
He went to the doctors on Tuesday to get anger management and he has bad depression and has apparently had it for at least six months which has been causing his anger.
We know mum is going through a depression, she gets the same thing every five to seven years where she wants none of us and to be single and no one means anything to her. Everything and everyone she would at any other time value and love is rejected.
They have been married 25 years next month and over all that time they have been a very loving couple. They never call themselves husband and wife; they are soul mates and best friends. And the marriage has always been a partnership. They have had their arguments and a few times have not talked for a few days but that?s only human. But there has never been any violence of any sort before.
She is staying with our Nan while he is at the house and she says everything is over, he cant talk to her due to bail conditions but we can all see its not mum talking its her depression. I can understand how she is feeling at the moment with dad but she is also being like it with everyone. Saying she has no one in her life now which isn?t true.
Dad is devastated by his actions; it has broken him to a shadow of what he was. A solicitor phoned up this morning to offer him a defence solicitor and he has told them to p**s off as they wont be needed as he is pleading guilty and will take whatever is given to him for what he did.
My question is this, should my sister and I with the rest of the family support them both to try reconciliation?
As I said earlier, they are truly soul mates. As a daughter it is embarrassing walking around with them as they act like teenagers in love where ever we go. They are both good parents and have brought us up to know right from wrong. Dad know what he did was wrong and it is destroying him, mum wants nothing further to do with him. Should they just part or should we get them mentally stable first so they can decide with clear minds?