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Original poster

Need some intelligent opinions - bullshit radar is going off

58 replies

paranoidIndeed · 02/08/2012 22:58

I'll keep it brief. Met a new guy a few weeks ago, I really like him but things are not seeming quite right IYSWIM? spidey senses are tingling. I'm known for being a bit paranoid but something is telling me to be careful here.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is. But one example - he shows me pictures of his house - gorgeous 4 bed detached house - but in the picture it had no furniture in it. Now he did say he's selling it so fair enough, most stuff he'll be getting rid of but he's supposedly still living there?? However he tells me he stays at his mums house a lot to keep her company = his mum lives on a nearby council estate. Nothing wrong with this at all except he seems to be there all the time. And tonight he tells me his mum is away this weekend - seemed to be hinting that he has the house to himself - something flashed through my mind that it's HIS house?? I checked 192. He is listed as living in that postcode but a few years back.

He dropped me off home on Tuesday. He said he was heading in a certain direction home so I said "are you going to your mums?" and he stuttered and couldn't answer me properly. Seemed totally caught off guard.

Another thing - he's on a good wage - yet he only works 9-4pm and seems to have time off whenever he wants. For example we're going out tomorow and he said he'll pick me up at 1pm. I said "are you not at work?" and he said he had the day off?? He also has next monday off.

I am known for being paranoid. Tell me this is a paranoid state I'm in right now?

OP posts:
BonkeySaysTeamGBAreTheMollocks · 02/08/2012 23:00

Always always follow your gut!

Original poster
paranoidIndeed · 02/08/2012 23:02

He seems a really nice guy - I'm on his facebook so can see his friends, kids etc and he does seem above board - it's just these little niggles I can't quite iron out.

OP posts:
geegee888 · 02/08/2012 23:02

If he doesn't have furniture in it, its hardly his house, is it? I mean in the sense that even if he owned it, he clearly doesn't or hasn't lived in it recently. You wouldn't remove all furniture to sell it even if you decluttered. And how odd to show you pictures of a house anyway, instead of simply inviting you round or telling you about it.

You know that you can do credit checks on people against a certain address? They don't cost that much...

BonkeySaysTeamGBAreTheMollocks · 02/08/2012 23:03

Do you think he has lied about the house and lives with his mum?

Or do you think he has a Mrs stashed away?

Musomathsci · 02/08/2012 23:05

Why is he selling it? Why would he be getting rid of all his stuff anyway? Does he actually have a job? Sounds deeply dodgy to me. I'd be suspicious that this is all a front, and he's actually living with his ma and stoney broke. Trust your instincts - you have them for a very very good reason.

Original poster
paranoidIndeed · 02/08/2012 23:05

I'm not really sure what to think. Don't think he has a mrs as he would be worried I'd post something on Facebook surely? and he always seems available to see me. Gave me his phone to play with etc.

I'm thinking there is something dodgy about this house business? personally I don't care if he does live on a council estate - I just don't like being lied to. I had enough of that with my ex.

OP posts:
BonkeySaysTeamGBAreTheMollocks · 02/08/2012 23:07

I agree, why would he not jusr take yopu to see the house rather than the pictures.

have you asked to look round the house?

For all he knows you could be a potential buyer!

BonkeySaysTeamGBAreTheMollocks · 02/08/2012 23:07

Or know someone who is looking!

IfElephantsWoreTrousers · 02/08/2012 23:07

Yep your bullshit detector is fully functional. Back away from the loser.

ladyWordy · 02/08/2012 23:10

All I will say is.... Sometimes an amber light goes on in my mind. Sometimes a lot of red lights flick on. This one has the klaxons going!

Keep clear until you have a LOT more information.

akaemmafrost · 02/08/2012 23:12

Get your skates on!

meditrina · 02/08/2012 23:12

Has he told you anything you can verify about either the house (what street it is? Is there one there with a sign board up?) or the job (company name?). Can you ring estate agent for particulars and ask why it's for sale? Ring the company landline (on a day he's not in) ask for him, and see who you get put through to?). Have you met any of his friends?

If he's trying to impress you because he doesn't think he's good enough for you, then there might be something worth hanging onto. It all depends on whether and how he comes clean.

But in general, I'd say that if you think checking up on him this much so early is a good idea, it doesn't look promising.

Do not go further with him until you are sure of what you're dealing with. On the Sherlock Holmes approach, you can only eliminate the impossible. His story is worrying you as improbable, so you perhaps you need to take the initiative in finding out, with real proof, more about him. Meeting his family, friends or colleagues may be a useful part of that.

Original poster
paranoidIndeed · 02/08/2012 23:13

see another thing - he seems a bit pre-occupied with the money subject.

People that have money don't tend to go on about it in my experience.

OP posts:
Houseofplain · 02/08/2012 23:14

You've posted before haven't you? If it is you. I said then, having low self esteem and thinking you aren't good enough, for such and such a type.

Will leave you wide open to fuckiwts on the Internet. Good to see your bs radar isn't broken.

SkinnedAlive · 02/08/2012 23:15

Unless the house was where he lived with ex, kids etc and they have taken all of the furniture. If he has no furniture in it and mum is happy to look after him, cook, wash etc no wonder he's moved home. Odd about the job unless he is the boss of course!

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 02/08/2012 23:16

It sounds like he's fed you a line and now he has to keep it up.

Surely if he has his mums house free this weekend and was hinting at you staying? You could just stay at his house anytime?

You could look on Zoopla and see if his house is on there-when it was last bought. Then ask him when he bought it? A little sneaky, but then it's something else you know.

Personally I think he's told a fib and it's not easy to keep up. But time will tell.

Original poster
paranoidIndeed · 02/08/2012 23:16

I think he works were he says he does. He has a company email address and has the company listed on his facebook.

He's told me the village the house is in but I looked on rightmove and it isn't on there as a for sale. It's now sold anyway apparently - which is why he says he's moved everything to his mother's house.

I was lied to terribly by my ex, hence all the paranoia.

OP posts:
MyTitsAreBetterThanYours · 02/08/2012 23:18

Seems obvious to me that he lives with his mother and doesn't have much money. Or a job. Or at least one that pays well/isnt part time etc.

Musomathsci · 02/08/2012 23:19

Hmmm, sounds like you're talking yourself out of your doubts, now... Be careful!

NicholasTeakozy · 02/08/2012 23:19

Run. Run like the wind. And don't look back.

I've stolen this from someone else, can't remember who, but it applies here.

Red flags are flapping. Honestly.

ladyWordy · 02/08/2012 23:23

Yes, lying might be the least of your worries here.... something is telling me to be careful ...

geegee888 · 02/08/2012 23:27

He could also have lost his job but they might not have deleted his work email address. Why not phone his work and ask to speak to him there?

Original poster
paranoidIndeed · 02/08/2012 23:27

Ok the house he showed me is NOT on zoopla. Are all "for sale" houses on there?

OP posts:
piratecat · 02/08/2012 23:27

but you just said he said he was selling it, and now you say he says it's sold??

red flappy flags

Original poster
paranoidIndeed · 02/08/2012 23:29

it is sold but not official yet. He has a buyer, all the paperwork came through today apparantly

OP posts:
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