Do you put your husband before family?

[owleye]

My husband is always complaining I spend too much time with my mum and sisters, its getting really bad, he seems so jealous. The thing is most of the time I spend with my family he is at work so I really cant see the problem, what does he want me to do sit at home?

We had a massive row earlier on this subject as we have done many times but he just seems so bitter about it all. He doesnt have much family in the area and his family are not as close as mine but he seems almost resentful that my family is so close. Also my family never exclude him, always invite him, make him feel welcome etc.

Just looking for some views on this as he's got me questioning myself. His view is that once you get married you should leave your family and put your husband first. Do you agree?

Right - just saw that he is violent too.

Please read around this board, there are enough examples of people in similar situations that can offer much more wise advice and help than I can.

You should not be living like this - your home should be the safest place in the world, your husband should be the one person you can tell anything to and always, always be yourself and your children deserve to not live in a home where there is violence and abuse, they deserve to be safe, as do you.

for you, but there is help and you do not have to live this way.

Angel I know you are right especially regarding the children this is not setting a good example as to how a relationship should be. I don't want my daughter to think it is ok for your partner to berate you and slap you. I think that when he returns tonight I may try and talk to him don't really know what to say but better that than a week of silence then back to normal.

You tell him, he wont react well, you know this - then leave him, or make him leave. He is ruining your life - don't let him do the same to your DD. He slaps you in front of your DD? WHY do you stay?

Do your mum and sister know how he treats you Owleye?

I don't know why I'm still with him except believe it or not we do have good times and when it's good it's good. I think it has all been worse with me being on annual leave its all intensified.

No they don't know about the violence they are aware of his moods I think my sisters probably more than my mum.

What do you want to happen now?