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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I need quick advice - too soon to agree to this??

35 replies

NikitasSidekick · 01/08/2012 22:44

Been seeing a guy, known him about two weeks - been on 4 dates, seeing him again twice over this coming weekend (friday night and saturday night) and will be seeing him mid week next week and the weekend after.

He's asked if I'd do camping for one night with him on the 17th. That's 2/3 weeks away.

Is it too soon for this?? I really like this guy so am not thinking with my sensible head. What do you reckon?

OP posts:
Kladdkaka · 01/08/2012 22:47

Do you want to?

NikitasSidekick · 01/08/2012 22:48

yes I do - but - if I agree to this, am I agreeing to sex? cos not sure I'm ready for that but don't want to lead him on iyswim?

OP posts:
ninah · 01/08/2012 22:48

I'd go

ninah · 01/08/2012 22:49

in that case talk to him!

Lucyellensmum99 · 01/08/2012 22:50

Go!! Seriously, if you like him - if you want to hold back on "doing the sexuals" then thats ok too. If you dont then thats ok too. Have a nice time. Is there a reason for the camping?

happyAvocado · 01/08/2012 22:51

be open about it - you would hate to wrestle with him in the middle of the campsite Wink
unless of course you like it....

pictish · 01/08/2012 22:51

Go and shag him...you will have spent long enough with him by then to warrant a test drive, but not so long that if he is just not for you, you won't feel too bad about letting him down gently.

pictish · 01/08/2012 22:52

Of course if you don't want to, don't!!!

But I would. Grin

Lucyellensmum99 · 01/08/2012 22:52

Crossed posts - just tell him, "yes, id love to come camping, but just so we know where we are, i'm not ready, at the moment, to have sex" If he respects that then its all good - if he loses interest, well, you have found out that he isn't for you. Saying that, in a few weeks you may feel differently, that is your perrogative.

Schlock · 01/08/2012 22:54

I wouldn't have thought that camping was the best time for a lovely first sexual encounter with him. I'd say that camping was more a spooning experience, which of course might lead to some sex but easier to fend off than in a quiet private bedroom somewhere.

If you want to go, go! If you want to go and not have sex with him then do that.

Whenthetoadcamehome · 01/08/2012 22:54

What lucyellen said. If you say yes but make it clear that this doesn't mean a green light for sex then his reaction will tell you volumes so it's a win either way!

solidgoldbrass · 01/08/2012 22:57

You might have decided to have sex with him before you go. Mind you, if you are still unsure, is the camping trip to an official campsite with showers/loos/clubhouse etc, or is it you and him in the Tent of Lurve in the middle of nowhere? If it's the second option, be reasonably sure that he';s a decent bloke before you set off (bearing in mind that most blokes generally are OK and not aiming to make themselves lampshades out of your skin - or coerce you into sex yo udon't want), just because being stranded in the wild woods with someone you don't entirely trust is not going to be much fun.

tethersphotofinish · 01/08/2012 23:00

Hmm. He sounds a bit intents.

pictish · 01/08/2012 23:03

Don't let him peg you down, mind. He must accept his plan may go up the pole.

ninah · 01/08/2012 23:05

check his hydrostatic head

NikitasSidekick · 01/08/2012 23:06

oh god, here we go Grin

OP posts:
NikitasSidekick · 01/08/2012 23:08

ok I suppose I'm judging it based on how I feel now. In another 2 weeks, I could well be ready for a bit more but I don't want to feel I've guaranteed it iyswim?

How do I say it's not guaranteed without saying it's definately not on the cards??

To be be fair, he hasn't suggested anything sexual - the opposite actually, saying to take loads of clothes for the night as it's cold etc

OP posts:
pictish · 01/08/2012 23:20

There you go then....don't say anything. Things will progress naturally. i think this is about him thinking of something fun to do, more than anything else. he's right about loads of clothes.

Chill. Que sera sera. x

tethersphotofinish · 01/08/2012 23:23

It was best to canvas opinion.

gingerpig · 01/08/2012 23:27

take one of those mummy style sleeping bags with you and zip it alllllll the way up Grin he'll get the message

pictish · 01/08/2012 23:28

Course if he tries anything funny, you can always use a torch to stove him in. I think you'll have a gas though.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 01/08/2012 23:30

It doesn't sound like he's asking you to go just so you have sex with him - not if he's telling you to take lots of clothes for the night. Just go. See how you feel when you are there.

tallwivglasses · 01/08/2012 23:30

I wonder what will happen? The excitement is intents Grin

tethersphotofinish · 01/08/2012 23:34

I've done that one already, tall Grin

trumpton · 01/08/2012 23:47

He sounds like a nice guy who knows the ropes and not at all camp .