fucking cunting bastards. anyone about?

[VicarGoingForGoldInKungFu]

old thread

brother.

just logged on to facebook and there he is again like a bad penny....has messaged me asking for forgiveness and asking for "us to be adults" and saying i would now be proud of him.....

also got a friend request.

i have not yet finished counselling - ive got another session in August but i think then i only have one more after that.

why cant they just fuck off to the far side of fuck and leave me the fuck alone?

Block him, show no mercy.

Just reading your old thread.

But would agree with frida.

Block all of them

dont use fb

change your name by deepoll and then on fb and block them and set privacy to high

ignore them.

Good luck and ((((hugs))))

There is a way you can not be searchable on fb Do that

im osrry. i ll be back tomorrow.

Vicar, your brother has given you a wonderful opportunity.

In a safe, controlled environment, you can be an adult and make a truly adult decision as an adult and block him.

I know that it is a very difficult decision, but what would you advise a friend in the same position?

i have gone red hot and my heart is racing, im shaking. i should go to bed and try to sleep and then sort out either coming off FB or blocking - im crap with FB anyway. i will get DS to sort it - i think i might just come off it altogether - but then brother has my address. i do not ever want them turning up here....

I haven't read all of your old thread, but...
are you happy now without them?
If so, just get on with your life, you have obviously done very well, have a good job. loving family. Do you really need this shit in your life?
its an old saying we choose our friends but we can't choose our family
look at what you've got now and what you stand to lose
You wont be the first, or the last, to cut ties with blood relatives?
You've said "you want to be left the fuck alone" well its up to you, be strong, if you really want to be left alone then you have the power to do that. You dont need to stop using FB, just make it private and ignore friend requests. Look at how strong you are now. Look at all the good things in your life. I'm sure you have great friends, a loving family. Don't let them in because of a misplaces sense of guilt. You are a great person now. You have friends that love you. You have family to support you. Close the door on the past and don't look back lest they drag you under. You have said you are a police officer...so what if you go there and they are using, how could you possibly deal with that. You have us strangers to support you, ok we may be strangers but nonetheless, you post, we will be her to support you. You have some real friends that you don't even know. Be strong, and be happy. Don't let misery drag you down, you're worth more than that

Tell them thru fb via emal that you want no contact ever that your mind is made up and any further contact will be reported to the police for harassment and staking. Or get someone else to type and sent the message.

Give them the warning, set the boundry then follow thru.

You don't have to do anything until you have had the chance to think it over. You are in shock right now. That shock has thrown you.

What is your gut instinct?
Remember it and consider it alongside your intellectual and emotional responses before you react to this.

Try not to worry about him having your address. You can only make a decision on what is going on right now. The future can be dealt with when it happens.

Adult decisions are hard. And I'm sorry that your birth family are having this effect on you.

i need to give myself a talking to.
i have read a bit of my other thread, im going to read it tomorrow because it reminds me what i have to do.
i think it was just shock initially, tonight, getting the message was unexpected. i started counselling in nov last year. at least i will have something to talk about at my next session......

im not going back there. last counselling session she read a poem about walking into a hole in the street and about learning to walk around the hole.....about not going down that street again.

i wont go down that street again. its just painful. i had best go to bed i guess, i may feel better in the morning.

i feel a bit of a daft bat now, im ok. im sorry for starting this - i panicked a bit and started the thread in panic.....
i should have just took a breath and thought for a moment. im fine, i will be fine. thanks though.

Vicar hope you have managed to get some sleep now. As others have said you need to sort FB out and take steps to protect yourself from these unwanted intrusions.

Can I just say that I admire you greatly for building the great life you have. How easy it would have been to lose your way in life but you didn't. You succeeded despite the odds and are a very strong person. Just keep doing what you're doing. Take care x

For the last couple of weeks I've been adding a 'thought for today' on another thread, Vic.

Here's one just for you:

Sometimes we need to forget some people from our past because of one simple reason; they don't belong in our future.

We're not here to 'find' ourselves, honey. We're here to create ourselves. Give yourself permission to wipe the slate of bad memories clean and dispense with anyone who brings you down and chains you to the past.

Izzy thank you, and I know you're right. I know it. Those people really do not have any place in my future, or my life again. I need to cut the ties and feel ok with that. Again, the message isn't that of a sane, whole person. I panicked. I don't even understand my reaction, it's not rational at all - I mean, what's changed, really? Nothing.
I need to sever all ties, once and for all, both in my head and physically. I've had no contact prior to that last wobble last year for so long, it really shouldn't be that hard. I'm ok now. A bot calmer anyway.

Due not sleeping well myself I have read your last thread (only your posts towards the end as its long )

But since reading it you have got through your minor wobble - he's not worth a response. I echo what izzy has said, he definitely isn't part of your future.

Ignore him. You gave him two chances previously, do you really want to give him a third?

All the best vicar, you are a very strong person after everything you have been through - your old thread made me cry

You have grown so much in the process of becoming all you can be, Vic, but they haven't changed.

They're just the same as they've always been and, to that extent, whether you have contact with them now or 5 or 20 years down the line, the outcome will be the same - bad news for you.

You did everything you could for your db, and what you did for him was a lot more than many would have done.

You have nothing to reproach yourself for because there was nothing more you could have done for him.

You'd be 'proud of him' now? Pass the salt cellar. The day he collects a Nobel Peace Prize, or another internationally recognised award for services to humanity, will be the day you can be proud of him.

Until then, don't let anyone you are related to merely by accident of birth compromise what you've achieved or make you feel bad about yourself - you've come way too far to start going backwards now.

I have name changed-I was "toomanystuffedbears" and remember your thread.
Imho, the "you'll be proud of him now" is the bait. This is a dynamic of putting you in a superior postition and he is as a pup laying down showing his little belly to you. How could anyone resist? Well, your gut instinct doesn't hesitate with a panic attack (!). That is clear. Leave it.

Please don't for a second reproach yourself for starting a thread for anything. These processess are so long and grueling that we really do need the gallery of support as we proceed, whether it takes a few weeks or a few years. For me, it is my middle sister.

Try to process the boundaries as administrative duties for yourself-in a kind of dispassionate way: Like pay the bills (check), let the cat out (check), water the flowers (check), block and ignore your abuser (check), do something nice for yourself (check, check, check).

ive deleted the friend request, and will get DS to block him - there is just a tiny tiny part of me that realises that once thats done, thats it, and i need to examine why that bothers me, because it shouldnt, feeling like this isnt nice, it isnt good, and it should not bother me to block them completely and get on with my life.

the message totally absolves him responsibility - sorry "it" screwed up - "it" being our contact - not sorry i screwed up......
same old same old. he is his mothers son.
i know no good is ever going to come of being in contact and i know what the only answer is. I am going to block him. and my mother.
and then i will carry on as before.

No wise words for you Vicar but I'll wish a pox on them if that will help

You will get through this, you're obviously a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.

I can understand the guilt though, it's completely misplaced, but totally understandable. You feel it because you're not a cold hearted bitch.

Just keep going. One step at a time. You'll get there.

In the mean time, get on here and moan like a biatch, it's what we're here for

On the 7th December you said "i have learned a lesson from all of this. This was the second chance i have given him, i cant ever afford a third.". Looks like you were right. You owe it to your real family to live life to the full and be happy. It doesn't seem that your brother/mother can make you happy.

Good on you for getting him blocked. I assume you still have the same phone number? Can you block his number or screen calls so you don't answer to him?

Sorry you've had such a shit time of it.

Well done Vicar. I remember your old post. You had to stress and worry for ages before making the decision to cut him out.

You have come a massive distance within yourself to be making that decision the same day now

Block him