DP's choice of porn

[NotACougar]

Hi ladies,

Have namechanged to post this as I'm quite embarrassed but..

Tonight I came on the laptop that me and DP share. I have always know DP watches porn and that doesn't bother me at all. He has always wiped the internet history when he has watched porn (not bothered by this either - would rather that than 'youporn' popping up everytime it try and go on youtube!

Anyway - he watched porn the other night whilst I was out with friends and obviously forgot to wipe the history. The thing that's bothering me is his choice of porn. It's not 'weird' porn at all but it seems he's into 'older' women.

Now I'm not talking granny-porn here! I mean 40something cougars seducing younger men. We are both in our mid 20s and I am younger than him, so this is something that I definately do not fulfill for him!

He has mentioned briefly to me before that he has had relationships at Uni with older women but I never thought anything of it, and now I've become obsessed!!

There is an older women (late 30's) that he works with that quite clearly has a thing for him, and I've always laughed and thought it was quite funny but now I'm worrying! The porn really focused along the 'seducing housewife' storyline. It scares me that he's into this because my crazy mind is telling me this could easily happen in real life :(

Am I being crazy? Do I have anything to worry about??

if a couple are in a fulfilling relationship no need for porn whatsoever

The clothing etc. analogy is poor. My clothes may have been made by exploited children (I know most of us try to be ethical here) but the abuse itself is not the product; clothes are.

The porn industry not only exploits many workers but sells those very images for others' sexual pleasure.

I buy my clothes from a charity shop so i can garuntee that no money is going to sweatshop owners or whatever ruthless business person is making money from them.

As to your other question Golden - i do struggle with that, and as a consequence do not watch it as much as i used to. However, i don't pay to view porn so no one benefits from my watching it. That isn't an excuse btw id never pay. In fact i don't get it - you can switch on your computor and access any type of porn that you want - from cougar to bdsm. I don't watch cougar! i hasten to add ;) but i fail to see how people now make any money from it.

sadgitswife - i disagree, DP and i have a solid relationship and we have a great sex life, we both watch porn, it enhances our sex life, on the rare occasions that we use it. Its not often.

What i woud want to see, is the porn industry, the sex industry in general being regulated more, i can only see this happening by legalising. That way, one could ensure that anything you are watching is safe sane and consensual, im sure the vast majority of porn users would choose those things to watch. If there were licences etc. Am i being niave?

The problem with "free" internet porn is that this means in order to make as much money as possible, it is even more likely its not regulated, corners are cut and therefore more abuse is taking place.

Profits are often from adverts and related links e.gr DVDs, dating sites, webcams, chat rooms etc.

LEM, the porn is free to you at point of contact (the internet)

it isn't really "free" though is it ?

have you seen all the ads on porn sites ? That's where the money comes from.

LEM, I am afraid there have been many examples of "charities" being just as bad as their capitalist counterparts wrt to corruption etc

i dont know golden, have you

That is a fair point though golden. It is a bit like people who eat battery farmed meat (me included) who take the attitude, well me, one little consumer, isnt going to make any difference if i dont buy the expensive free range, organic meat. It is still wrong though and you make a good point.

Would you, do you think, enjoy porn of any sort, if you had a garuntee it was regulated?

just because you can switch on your pc and find free porn doesn't make it ok, love

your arguments are very naive, LEM

I could, if I wanted, switch on my pc and find a child being raped for my viewing pleasure

because it is transmitted, free of charge into my comfortable home, does not make it harmless

please open your eyes

I think you and I have had this conversation before, and I sensed some hope that your conscience would win out one day. At the risk of sounding like a right patronising cow, I still hope so

You see, this thing about 'It's got to be more and more eevil and horrible to sell' is another myth, that the antiporners seem to think can be made true by shouting it loudly enough and often enough. Most viewers find the stuff that works for them (eg the OP's H likes mature-woman-seducing-young-man) and stick with it.

And I agree with LEM that the best way forward is regulating the industry to give proper workers' rights to the performers, rather than stigmatizing it and forcing it underground, which will just make it hugely unsafe for the performers.

FFS, im going to have to start weaving my own clothes move to the outer hebrides and forage for food.

LEM, I wouldn't argue so consistently and voraciously about something I had no knowledge or experience of

a teensy bit patronising Golden ;) but i'll forgive you because you're probably right

Im not arguing for anything actually

sgb, it is already hugely unsafe for a large proportion of performers

you are just as guilty of letting your own experience colour your responses as I am

because you support "ethical" porn (which is actually niche in comparison to mainstream) you apply your opinions with broad brush strokes

which I am sure you would equally accuse me of

It is a genuine question though Golden, in not sure if you have missed it among the crossed posts if you would enjoy porn, do you think, if you felt it was regulated? Don't answer that if you dont want to, just interested to know.

To be fair, i haven't looked at porn for ages, mostly due to this site, but i did look at cougar porn last night - and made a face and went to bed

I told you it was patronising, LEM but it's for your own good

and you will thank me one day

maybe i will!

watching other people have consensual sex is enjoyable, LEM.

did I ever say it wasn't ?

the very nature of the mainstream industry (as it stands) does not promote sex at all, it promotes the degradation and objectification of women

until that changes, I don't see how it can be "harmless", enhance my own sex life or be essential to any fair-minded individual's ability to take pleasure from having an orgasm

lucyellensmum - I should have said IMHO. lots of other issues involved as have already been posted.

Pornography has really changed.

In the 90 s ladette culture we were looking at magazines to impress our boyfriends and to appear sophisticated and open about sex.

The last time I looked at online pornography was about 5 yes ago maybe with DH. We were both really disgusted and turned OFF. Women being raped basically seems to be the flavour these days on " mainstream" sites. It was revolting and I have changed the way I see porn as I educated myself. It's nasty, nasty stuff and it's getting out of hand IMO.

Being raped??
Please explain.

You don't know what rape is, dranksinatra ?

you want me to actually explain the scenarios in these films drank? Just type the word into google it really is just a click away....sadly...

I think rape is a heavy one to throw around on a discussion about adult entertainment.. Either they are or they aren't.
Thank you to whoever reported me today, as well.