womens attitudes to crossdressing

[calikid]

hi everyone,

i write this as a response to the numerous comments on a variety of posts regarding reaction to any stories where crossdressing is a subject. Firstly i'd like to make it clear that i am male and as such appreciate i may be laying myself bare to the onslaught of comment that is likely to come my way. although male i love to wear "womens clothes". What I would like to know is simply why shouldn't I. can anyone give me one valid reason why I shouldn't? because I have never been able to think of one.
I am happily married with two dds and a beautiful wife , all of whom i love very much. My wife knows all about my dressing and has been with me to a couple of tv gatherings. i told her not long after we got together and she was totally fine with it, we have been married now for 8 yrs. we do not let the children know as they are still quite young.
In all other respects I am very much one of the lads......I like football and beer (but then so do many women!), i work in construction, I teach martial arts, I help with housework , I don't mind ironing(coz i can do it while watching tv!)
I take a size 10 and look pretty good in a skirt and heels, but then so does my wife, its just she can do it whenever she pleases and good for her. its just the injustice and ignorance of society that infuriates me.
I'm curious to know how the rest of women feel about the issue

If a bloke I was going out with liked to cross dress I would expect this to come up fairly early in the relationship.
I could then ditch him.
My sexual fantasies about men don't involve them wearing make up and dresses.
Men in kilts are very sexy though. Why can't you just wear a kilt and pretend to be Scottish?
Many women spend most of their leisure time in trousers anyway and I rarely wear make up so don't accept that skirts and make up are "women's wear"
Tim Minchin wears make up, but I really hope he doesn't also like wearing tights and dresses. He is quite sexy.
In general it doesn't bother me if some men want to wear skirts and pretend to be women, I just wouldn't want a relationship with one.
.

rebecca, skirts and dresses are womens wear, but equally trousers and jeans are also womens wear! the reason they are set apart and called womens wear is because they are not at present intended for men. menswear is restricted to the latter, apart of course from kilts etc. I have had a kilt in the past but don't particularly like the heavy materials they are made from so i don't want to wear them. much in the same way that one person might like a cotton shirt and the next person might prefer satin.

pretending to be scottish in order to wear a kilt is no different in my opinion different from pretending to be a woman to wear a skirt, both scenarios involve an attempt to deceive.

"Do you behave in what may be perceived by others in a 'feminine' manner when you are dressed up in women's clothinng i.e. do you exhibit what may be called a 'feminine' persona or behave in a manner that is markedly different to that which you exhibit when wearing male or unisex clothing?

Do you alter the way you walk or carry yourself? Do you hope that strangers/others will see you as being a woman rather than a man in drag"

even though the op has answered this i will answer these from a female partner of a cd to give another view

Yes my dp does have a feminine persona not massivley differnet to his male side i tend to get more cuddles we talk more about feelings she does more housework etc she sits diffenently even when skinny jeans when in bars.

Yes my dp does alter her way of walking though that might be down to walking in high heels (which she is good at better than me ) and yes i belive chloe (my dp female name ) feels great when people double take and yes she has a female name when in female clothing and i often use it even when not in female mode as it gets her attention (waits to be flammed)

Reading with interest, as i'd love to understand OP.

Lots of questions - but one jumps out: if it's about the comfortable, sensual swishy nature of skirts NOT the look of them or they're femininity, fair enough, but then - why high heels? That cant be a comfort thing. If it is a sensual thing with the shoes that's very definately bordering on the 'being a woman' for a while thing.

I'm sorry if i sound clumsy or crass. Just asking :)

"does more housework"

really ?

yes anyfucker does more cleaning of the bathroom puts clothes away etc

does he put the toilet lid down too ?

yes he does but he does anyway and just to let you know my ex husband who was a first class twat and not had a femminme bone in his body did too all the time

fluffy, why do the shoes make it more like being a woman. i definitely find the sensual feel of skirts are accentuated by the wearing of heels, don't you? That is if you are into skirts, i'm not making any assumptions! but shoes are only shoes, they don't come with a tag that says there wearer herein wants to be a woman.

rebecca, you find men in skirts unattractive but men in kilts attractive, surely the only difference in the two is that society deems kilts ok for men and skirts not. so it seems that you are allowing societys' predjudices to dictate your feeling on the subject. if all men had brown hair and all women had blond then suddenly your partner died his blond would you ditch him because he was not doing that which society deems to be appropriate?

Op are you confortable in your own skin?

Do you like the person you are? Are you at easy with yourself?

Tip: if you wear long skirts you can still sit with your legs open and boots are so much more sexyer than courts and can be worn with short or long skirts.

yes i am very comfortable with myself and if i had the choice to wipe my memory clean and not be cd anymore i wouldn't change it. and yes you're right boots are a very good option. In fact its what i wear most of the time. they are a pair that used to belong to dw and passed onto me. we're of similar proportions. in fact so much so at one point early in the relationship she even thought i might be with her because i could wear her clothes without a problem but i reassured her that it wasn't the case. but i guess all sorts of things would go through a partners mind until the whole situation is clarified.

i must point out also, that when i say i like heels , they tend to be more of the boot type high heel as opposed to fine point stilletoes. still a good 3" but much easier to walk in and i feel more suitable. but thats only my preference

Thanks for answering my questions.

Im glad you are happy as you. The only barriers in life are the ones we put there ourselves. Grow a thicker skin and start struting your stuff mate. Someone has to be the first why not you?

Has your wife read this.thread?

I wonder whether your sexuality shifts somewhat on the days you cross-dress, say aer you less in the mood towards dw? I think that cd's who really take on a female persona would be best suited with a bi woman - not sure whether unicorn has such tendencies as she obviously likes discussing 'her' - it's kind of best of both worlds isn't it really (for those who is more attracted to men but has a leaning to bi sexuality). In case of OP he doesn't take on a persona which sound a lot more comfortable to my brain personally (even though I may have slight bi sexual leanings) but probably he appears more feminine than he thinks due to the figure type (not heavy). So it's interesting how you feel OP - are you put off when men give you looks from a distance, thinking you were a woman? do you even want to be sexual with anyone on these days?

no , she's not even on mn, but i'll probably show her it, she'd be very interested in all the views, as , i might add, am i. I'm a bit disappointed i haven't had any male feedback. have any of you discussed it with your partners to guage their perspective. i would assume it would range from support. to indifference to animosity and pity, but there you go , you can't please all of the people all of the time!

and thanks airforgold, i enjoy strutting my stuff, and when the kids are old enough and i can include then and no longer worry about the effect on them of the ingnorant in society then i can resort to being more open with support from the likes of you

likeatonneofbricks i am complety straight though i know alot of lesbains met alot when i was in the army but never wanted to be with a girl my chloe always takes her hair off when we do anything sexual and it took me while to be comtable with her wearing one when in female mode alot of the time she doesnt wear make up or a wig when in house female mode (only really when we do pics ) i type this and my chloe is sat watching telly with a nightie on but with no make up or wig on

Another question: how do you feel about the negative comments you have got?

Has a man ever chated you up and if so was it a compliment to you?

tonofbricks, no, i'm totally heteorsexual. for me, women are just too gorgeous to even consider any other option. and when you encounter someone like my dw who is not only physically attractive but a great mother, a hard working career woman and challenging on an intellectual level, what more could a man want.

and no, about the male attraction to me thing. i am aware that I have often been considered to have some androgynous qualities, and do attract attention from both men and women, but i don't find it disconcerting. on the contrary, isn,t everyone flattered by attention, its only the insecure who would be threatened by it. i'm totally as secure in my sexuality, and dw has totl trust in me. but its still nice to be considered attractive from whatever source it comes, it gives you a little boost every time it happens. if someone flirts with you tonofbricks, regardless of wheter you would ever even consider acting on it, i'm sure you would enjoy it would you not?

2nd question i think i've just answered.

as regards the negative comments. there haven't been as many as i thought there might. either because people haven't bothered or i have been able to counteract them b4 they really got going. but the ones i have got i just dismiss as ignorance and uninformed and rise above it coz at the end of the day i'm right for me and in due course just as with the abolition of slavery, womens voting rights, gay liberation,etc., the correct course for a civilised society will evolve. unfortunately, the evolution of society can be a slow moving machine and i might not reap the benefits, but we struggle on regardless

unicorn, thank you for replying in such a measured way (not always the case on MN!). You must be a very loving person by nature - I think that's what makes you so open minded. I still don't see how do you accept 'her' wholly as a woman and cuddle etc as you describe and yet not feel like you aer cuddling a woman which would have a bisexual element (or at least not cuddling a man iylwim) - or do you switch to friendship mode when it's a 'she' in a wig as you still manage to be loving emotionally? as you say the sexual part works only with him without the accessories. Or is it the knowledge that she is never really a she, what with the anatimy, and you sort of feel sorry for dh?

OP, I know you aer straight from all you've written, but aer you AS in the mood for sex when actually wearing the clothes, or less so - is your focus at that particular time off sex? do you feel like dw is not as in the mood when you aer dressed and htat in itself lowers interest? sorry if this is too personal.
Yes, I do like when people notice me in approving way or flirt - but..not if I find the person actively unattractive to look at (which doesn't always mean 'not good looking'), be it a man or a woman. are you scandinavian originally per chance (or dutch)?

unicorn, another provocative question - why do you call your H 'she' when he is sitting there with no make up and wig as you just described, purely wearing a nightie? assuming his mannerisms at that time ar like man's. You see, I can relate to a man as a man when nothing changes APART from a piece of clothing - and that's what OP is like too. Does one piece of clothing make it impossible for you to see him as a man? I suppose it's a very complex issue for a partner.

unicorn, does your chloe feel the same as me, in that she/he would prefer to go out in female clothing without having to engage in all the trappings of wig, make-up etc. some posts posts have said that its alot of work for women to do full make up etc. well its the same for cds, or even more so as for a man to present as female : in order to try to pass is alot more difficult than for a female to dress and make up. and b4 i get flamed( i believe thats the correct term) i 'm not trying to undermine the effort it take you lafies!

I like this subject as its very mind bending as there really is so meny possables and question and answers and its different and.personal for everyone. You cant put it in a box as there are too many lables. Its all unqui.

I dont get 'it' but im open minded about everything and i could discuss this all night over a few bottles of wine....

But i dont want to treat OP like a fish in a fishbowl so im sorry if i was insensative.

likeatonneofbricks thankkyou for your kind comments i dont switch to friendship mode when chloe is about do still have kisses (it was a little wired at first when she had lippy on and yes i did strugle with what you mean by asking myself does this mean am i bi etc ) but i am ok now she uses those chicken fillets in bras for her boobs as socks were anyoing me when i cuddled up on the couch and it didnt feel comfy but the chicken fillets are fine she doesnt always use them (shes not in a bra at the minute though shes moisturing (sp) her legs at min)oh yeah she shaves her legs arms armpits and tummy in truth her wearing nighties has never bothered me either and wears them most nights inculding female underwear its makes her relaxed and happy.
when she is in female mode i still hold hands when out like when we went to sparkle this year i dont feel sorry for dp she doesnt want to become a women as she is not transexual
Sexual we have a good relationship she wear females underwear all the time( the boxers have been at the bottom of drawer for months now:) ) and sometimes do start off with her with the wig on but she takes it off propley more for comfort though i wouldnt mind having sex with her with the wig if she asked as i am comftable with my own sexuailty it very hard to expalin to someone outside the only ppl that seem to understand fully is other GG (genuine girl) of cd partners though i am making a genralzation here maybe i am just crap at expalining

unicorn thank you for being generous with the personal sunject like this, there is nothing wrong with being slightly bi though is there? maybe you are but not enough to actually be with a woman, but enough not to mind the visual side and calling her she. I don't know why do you always say 'she' and not once so far 'he' - it's still a he you know, or do you find it hard to switch from she to he when you talk about dp, or possibly because dp prefers to be called a 'she' most of the time? as i say, I think OP is much more straight forward, as he is always a he, just likes to wear the clothes.