Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

womens attitudes to crossdressing

881 replies

calikid · 29/07/2012 01:16

hi everyone,

i write this as a response to the numerous comments on a variety of posts regarding reaction to any stories where crossdressing is a subject. Firstly i'd like to make it clear that i am male and as such appreciate i may be laying myself bare to the onslaught of comment that is likely to come my way. although male i love to wear "womens clothes". What I would like to know is simply why shouldn't I. can anyone give me one valid reason why I shouldn't? because I have never been able to think of one.
I am happily married with two dds and a beautiful wife , all of whom i love very much. My wife knows all about my dressing and has been with me to a couple of tv gatherings. i told her not long after we got together and she was totally fine with it, we have been married now for 8 yrs. we do not let the children know as they are still quite young.
In all other respects I am very much one of the lads......I like football and beer (but then so do many women!), i work in construction, I teach martial arts, I help with housework , I don't mind ironing(coz i can do it while watching tv!)
I take a size 10 and look pretty good in a skirt and heels, but then so does my wife, its just she can do it whenever she pleases and good for her. its just the injustice and ignorance of society that infuriates me.
I'm curious to know how the rest of women feel about the issue

OP posts:
AnyFuckerWillMakeDoWithBronze · 31/07/2012 23:53

hey, cali, at least I didn't see words that aren't even there Wink

anairofhopeFORGOLD · 31/07/2012 23:54

AF - i can hope lol

Offred - i totaly agree with your last post.

anairofhopeFORGOLD · 31/07/2012 23:55

Oopps just notice the time

Goodnight

Original poster
calikid · 31/07/2012 23:57

offred, for a start , fairenuff hasn't been here for ages, and when i have i've always attempted to answer honestly.

i have also addressed some of your questions recently, but i still don't see how i "promote sexism", when its exactly the opposite that i promote!!

OP posts:
likeatonneofbricks · 31/07/2012 23:57

anairofhope - no, I wouldn't say so. what aspects could they portray, if they wanted to.. they can't become mothers, and emotionally speaking there are too many aspects of women to portray, without again the risk being accused of being sexist for choosing to portray some aspects.

Original poster
calikid · 01/08/2012 00:03

cd doen't imply sexism, thats just nonsense. some cds may be but equally many are not. yes there are many forms, you're right there, and as such some may be sexist and some won't be!

OP posts:
Original poster
calikid · 01/08/2012 00:04

are women then, who choose only to wear trousers , and eschew skirts also sexist and making a parody of men?

OP posts:
Original poster
calikid · 01/08/2012 00:08

offred, question, do you wear both trousers and skirts?

OP posts:
Offred · 01/08/2012 00:10

It is exactly the opposite that you believe. Actually I'm not the first or the only person to have got that impression from your posts. It is because of the ideas of "maleness" and "femaleness".

As for how the term cd implies sexism: "cross dressing" - you can only dress in "women's clothes" if some clothes are not allowed for men in the first place.

madwomanintheattic · 01/08/2012 00:15

Only if they paint on moustaches and beards, Cali.

I personally don't give a monkey's what you wear, but you seem desperate to make a point about it for some reason.

I'm curious why you bother to wear a wig and full slap to conform though, if it's just about the right to wear a skirt. (with due apols if that wasn't you that said you occasionally went out dressed)

It's just about conformity to one stereotype or another. You're no ground breaker. Nobody here cares one way or another, but you seem very determined to make quite a big thing out of it.

Be you who you are and have the courage of your convictions. It might stop you wasting time trying to pick fights on the Internet.

That said, the Internet has a very good reputation as a safe place to try out gender play. Are you sure you've chosen the right forum? Or were you expecting a bit of hysteria you could get off on? Noone particularly cares, I'm afraid.

Original poster
calikid · 01/08/2012 00:29

offred, to answer that, i refer to skirts as womens clothes because that is the common (albeit in my opinion erroneous) understanding. in my opinion they should be deemed to be merely as clothes and not attributed to only one gender! i am quite happy to call them just skirts, as my skirts are mine and not belonging to a woman. and as i am a man then technically my skirts are mens clothing for me!

its all the other pricks who designate clothing to a particular gender who are the sexist ones, if you get my meaning

OP posts:
Offred · 01/08/2012 00:34

Yes I get that and this is where we come full circle back to the thing you are doing where you are conforming of your own free will to things you think other people will think about you or expect from you and actually in the process of not being true to what you believe you are promoting the validity of the things you say you are trying to challenge in a way.

Offred · 01/08/2012 00:35

If that makes any sense, am now tired...

Original poster
calikid · 01/08/2012 00:36

madwoman, read back and you'll see that i am not picking fights, the opposite actually. i'm trying to keep the peace, difficult as is can sometimes be.

offred, is not that comment about moustaches and beards sexist?, i don't think so but then i'm not throwing around the accusations. i've neverhad aither and i'm still a man.

OP posts:
LostinaPaperCup · 01/08/2012 00:37

It's rather arrogant of you OP, to suggest that some women who dress up are 'doing it wrong'.

So only a man can know how a woman should dress?

And as for your comment about worrying about the state of your stockings if you fought back an aggressor - please. Do you think women have the freedom to worry about such trivialities when they are at risk of attack?

So much of what you've posted on this thread is very insulting to women, many of whom don't find it 'sensual' to wear clothing that is restrictive and impractical, but often feel it's required to fit in/keep or get jobs/to not feel ugly and crap.

And the amount of sexism on this thread is dire. Puts me in mind of the Queen video where Freddie Mercury wears a skirt and is suddenly compelled to start hoovering.

Ugh, and ugh some more.

Original poster
calikid · 01/08/2012 00:38

offred, you didn't answer ny last question. next question , do you have children?

OP posts:
Original poster
calikid · 01/08/2012 00:41

lost, you 've come in and got the complete wrong end of the stick

OP posts:
Original poster
calikid · 01/08/2012 00:42

do you really think that i might approve of that queen video? as much a piss take of cds as women

OP posts:
LostinaPaperCup · 01/08/2012 00:44

Seriously, if I came home to find my male partner cleaning all the bits and bobs of the house he wouldn't normally clean I would be pleasantly surprised. If, on closer inspection, he had donned some of my more feminine clothes and asked me to call him Pauline whilst he worked I would recognise the sexist bastard he was and boot him out.

Without conversations and 'understanding'. If he stereotyped women like that it would mean he thought of me like that. No thanks. Off you trot.

Original poster
calikid · 01/08/2012 00:44

and where did i say women get it wrong? some women get it very right, some get it wrong, some men get their fashion right and some get it wrong, its not gender its people

OP posts:
LostinaPaperCup · 01/08/2012 00:45

I've read the whole thread OP, apart from the last page. Was there something new?

LostinaPaperCup · 01/08/2012 00:47

You said you only need to look at the high street on a Friday (or was it Saturday) night. Shall I copy and paste your post for you?

Original poster
calikid · 01/08/2012 00:48

lost, is that not an equally perverse scenario you have just described. that is in no way near anything i would either do or condone

OP posts:
LostinaPaperCup · 01/08/2012 00:49

If you want to talk about 'getting fashion right' you should be in the style and beauty section.

LostinaPaperCup · 01/08/2012 00:50

The housework thing was to do with some of the other comments in this thread. It's not about you.