womens attitudes to crossdressing

[calikid]

hi everyone,

i write this as a response to the numerous comments on a variety of posts regarding reaction to any stories where crossdressing is a subject. Firstly i'd like to make it clear that i am male and as such appreciate i may be laying myself bare to the onslaught of comment that is likely to come my way. although male i love to wear "womens clothes". What I would like to know is simply why shouldn't I. can anyone give me one valid reason why I shouldn't? because I have never been able to think of one.
I am happily married with two dds and a beautiful wife , all of whom i love very much. My wife knows all about my dressing and has been with me to a couple of tv gatherings. i told her not long after we got together and she was totally fine with it, we have been married now for 8 yrs. we do not let the children know as they are still quite young.
In all other respects I am very much one of the lads......I like football and beer (but then so do many women!), i work in construction, I teach martial arts, I help with housework , I don't mind ironing(coz i can do it while watching tv!)
I take a size 10 and look pretty good in a skirt and heels, but then so does my wife, its just she can do it whenever she pleases and good for her. its just the injustice and ignorance of society that infuriates me.
I'm curious to know how the rest of women feel about the issue

I don't like this idea that housework is somehow women's work. I do find alot of the sexual stereotyping in the transgender debate offensive.
The "I'm biologically male but I'm really a woman because I think x and I like y"
I hate housework and my husband is tidier than I am. That doesn't alter what sex/gender we are. We aren't living in the 1950s. Why does putting on a skirt mean you have to start behaving differently? I don't think my behaviour changes depending on whether I'm wearing a skirt or trousers. I don't care whether or not some men sometimes want to wear hosiery and silk skirts, I do care if those men think that wearing a skirt means you have to behave in a "feminine" way and that that involves being tidy, doing more housework and simpering.

rebecca, i couldn't agree more

calikid, can i ask if your work mates know about your CD?

no they don't

unicorn I was actually defendig you against someone who called your P sexist because you mentioned him doing housework when in drag (so that's most of the time) - I said that it's a complex issue for someopne who prefers to be a she most of the time and loves the stereotypical female image, I personally dont see anything wrong with stereotypes if both partners agree on how their r-ship works and are both happy. I he does to do more houseworj as a oman it really is yours and his business whjether you accept it. That's why I hate militant posters who think EVERYONE must accept that there no differences between men and women whether they like those differences or not - as OP just said to me it's to do with strengths and abilities, i.e. it's obvious that men develop arm muscles much easier and are better at building work whereas women would prefer lighter work 0 what the hell is wrong with that? I can do light self assembly but i have no desire to build walls or lift heavy stuff, I'd rather do ironing. If in a couple (minority) a woman is an athlete and her P is delicate it's up to them to reverse. The arguments aer here are militant but make no sense in real life!
I honestly can not see either OP how did you promoye stereotypes - they ae quoting 'ironing' fgs. And Faire of course he is getting flamed by you and Offred for being a sexist man - this is priceless!

I have explained that more than enough times as have others.

*If he wants to do housework as a woman

if you ask people and get their HONEST answers you'd be surprosed to know that very few aer 100% non-sexist, and possibly the same for noon racist. They may be largely so but we do not live in such an adnanced society that these doubts are extinct. The big progress now is that three aer much fewer actively sexist/racist people than before but still plenty, so the rest is somerwjhere in the middle or whatever degree, and I can't see AT ALL how OP is sexist fronm he told us about the wife and his attitude to her. Even the bloody fact that he wants to wear womens clothes whereas most men would see it 'ridicuous'and beneath them, puts him ahead of the pack. You aer living in a fairy tale with Offred if you think that most or even a big percent of people in this country (let along less democratic ones) see everyone as equal. The realistic option is to judge whether a person is moving in the right direction with their view but still 'getting there' and OP is a good 90% or more from what I ve read.

funnily enough women may see wearing mens clothes uncomfortable or not suiting them, but not 'beneath them' whereas ask most men and they would see is stepping down with their ego/pride rather than up or equal - even if we aer not talking about silly frills or anything like that, but a anything approximating. Yes minority can wear alternative options for men, but they aer the minority. To call OP who feels good about his masculinity but respects women's clothes/visual aspect enough not to feel compromised is already making him non-sexist, apart from other things he mentioned about his wife. So you can go and try being militant convincing majority of men that the clothes don't make then 'less' than they aer, good luck! maybe that will illustrate what stage the society is at atm. Op finds men sexist (and women who aren't comfortable with him), can't you see that.

That's ok then likeatonne, there's no problem at all then because the op might only be what? Let's say about 20% sexist... And you yourself maybe 30% so that's ok, no-one should question you when you say sexist things because you are less than 50% sexist and that makes it fine...

Crazy...

you have to forgive me for being a bit distracted, but i'm in middle of laying some flooring a the same time as checking on this.

offred, your comments about cowboy boots are correct and i'd be equally pissed off if it happened to my dw or dds when older. and yes i would cahallenge work mates and have done if i deem their behaviour to be inappropriate, but on the whole most aren't like that.

i'm still bemused as to how you think i promote stereotypes,,,,,,,you're right though that i did misjudge mn

Because your op and the further comments throughout the thread support an idea of division of clothing styles and gender roles as though they are as integral a part of gender as having a penis or vagina.

perhaps my op was clumsy, it wouldn't have occurred to me that it would have been dissected and thrown back at me. but all i was doing was giving a setting so you could put a bit of background to my situation, not attempting to promote any division of our respective roles as the stereotype.

as to comments on the ideea of division of clothing styles and gender roles. i would say that it is the idea of the division of clothing on gender lines which is the very thing that i am arguing against!! as for gender roles, i think its a nonense to suggest that there should be any hard and fast rules. yes there are trends due to differing abilities but i always advocate sharing responsibilities. yes there are lots of pricks who do damn little and god forbid if one of my dds ever end up with one, but if they turn out anything like their mum, there's little chance of that. stereotypes are insociety and need to be challenged and bashing each other on the same side of the argument isn't going to break them down. but being supportive to each other and educating the nex generation is the best way forward.

sorry, if its a bit of a ramble

al just point this out to the lot of yous about unicorn yous are judging her at least she can trust her fella how many of you girls that are against cds know what the future holds with your partners basically you have no idea and yes i am a friend of unicorn and she is the best mate i can have. As for cross dressing and decency how many girls have reveresed the role from femine to male role al tell you shal I a dam lot of yous women go to the pubs while their fellas are either working or baby sitting and loads of girls work in fellas jobs so is that not a desire to cross gender well I believe it is so cut the crap picking on unicorn because at the end of the day her and her partner can be trusted more than what i can say about a lot of people that judge there I have said all I am going to say and dont bother bitching because I wont listen to your bull or reply to it

Byee

There are rules about sock puppetting

This is the most boring thread ever, yaaawnarama.
Who gives the tiniest toss, really.

FWIW I've always found that small villages and big cities are more than capable of accomodating the eccentrities of their inhabitants without remark.

Nevertheless, I would have some admiration for you had you possessed the courage to be the only crossdresser in your particular village - albeit that it's unlikely that you are the only individual in your rural community who has a fetish for dressing up in clothing more usually seen on the opposite sex.

But this isn't about you bravely or boldly challenging stereotypes by wearing women's clothing or taking a large step for mankind in a skirt.

It's about you being a transvestite fetishist who experiences autogynephilia when you slip into 'sensual' female apparel, and about your additional need to exhibit yourself in public while dressed as a woman.

As your fetish falls within the category of adult sexual behaviour it's unsurprising that your dw does not wish your dc to know about your predilictions and, more particularly, as such behaviour is defined as a mental disorder if it causes impairment or distress to sufferers, of whom there are many.

You don't wear women's clothing by choice; you're compelled to do so and, insodoing, you become nothing more than a man in drag as opposed to a non-sexist man attempting to draw attention to the inequalities of gender definition.

Carry on dressing up by all means, but don't carry on as if you're breaking ground that others have thoroughly turned because you've come late to the party.

Oh cine that's a bit embarrassing next time you might want to actually read the thread!!!

izzy, thanks for mentioning autogynephlia, iv'e never heard of it i must admit so have just looked it up. and yes, while there are many who would fall within that category, i don't consider myself to be one. yes i enjoy the feeling when dressed but as i said before, it is the sensuality of it not the sexuality. also, i think the taboo nature of cd is a major catalyst of the phenomenon. take away the taboo and alot of cds would no longer feel that. i'm not saying that would be all, as the range of experience is wide, but it would remove the sexual issue for some.for the same reason, there are alot more sex change from male to female than the other way round, and this has often been attributed to the clothing issue. ie, the feeling becomes so strong that in order to fully present all the time reassignment becomes the last option wheras if clothing was equal they would be happy to remain as is

How do you know if clothes were all u.isex there would be less sex changes? You cant speck for others only yourself.

I also cant decide who the sock puppet is

i'm only saying that, cos that is what i've read on sites which are supposedly based on research. but yeah, you're right, nobody really knows for sure, its just a hunch. there have been cases where people have transitioned claiming to be lesbians in a mans body. why would you jump from the frying pan into the fire and become a lesbian and transgender if there was the option to stay male and wear the clothes you want to. yes , there may still be some that want to be women regardless but equally there will be some that wouldn't change if they didn't have to.

by the way, wot is a sock puppet, sorry but i'm not well versed in mn lingua, but i assume its someone prentending to be someone else. correct me if i'm wrong

Offred, you are back with your tiresome nitpicking and not getting the point of what I say, let's agree that we just don't get each others ideas or opinions, eh? You twist my posts to suit your army-discipline approach to people. I never said 'noone is allowed to criticize my or anyone's lack of perfect non-sexism' - where did I say that? I said that we do not live in society free os sexism so coming like a hawk on people who aer as perfect as you aer in your choice of phrasing or even thinking, is ridiculous and unfair, there aer targets that are much more suitable for your anger than me or OP in this case. The thread is not about nitpicking or EVERY SINGLE BLOODY WORD people say - you aer unable to see the general attotude -I can't be called 'sexist' nor can Op, I'm known to arhue with men including partners on the feminisms sunject, I'm hardly someone who shoud be the first target for your holy rage. Why not lighten up a bit. I don't accuse unicorn or her P of being sexist, they live by stereotypes but so what, it suits them - stereotypes HAve place in REAL world, not the fantasy you want to be in, if people aer good and happy let htem have their stereotypes, but no, with your intolerance we should all be blood perfect robots with perfect brain programming. You keep going on abiout OP p[romoting stereotypes - he hasn't , and since coming back this eve he elaborated some more on this, hope now he passes as genreally nonsexist minus the bloody ironing remark. He can't believe you think this either - surely you just MAY be wrong in your judgements, along with Faire.

*who are not as perfect

sock puppet explanation here

if you still need to me to laugh and point at the culprits you must be a bit dim feel free to ask