womens attitudes to crossdressing

[calikid]

hi everyone,

i write this as a response to the numerous comments on a variety of posts regarding reaction to any stories where crossdressing is a subject. Firstly i'd like to make it clear that i am male and as such appreciate i may be laying myself bare to the onslaught of comment that is likely to come my way. although male i love to wear "womens clothes". What I would like to know is simply why shouldn't I. can anyone give me one valid reason why I shouldn't? because I have never been able to think of one.
I am happily married with two dds and a beautiful wife , all of whom i love very much. My wife knows all about my dressing and has been with me to a couple of tv gatherings. i told her not long after we got together and she was totally fine with it, we have been married now for 8 yrs. we do not let the children know as they are still quite young.
In all other respects I am very much one of the lads......I like football and beer (but then so do many women!), i work in construction, I teach martial arts, I help with housework , I don't mind ironing(coz i can do it while watching tv!)
I take a size 10 and look pretty good in a skirt and heels, but then so does my wife, its just she can do it whenever she pleases and good for her. its just the injustice and ignorance of society that infuriates me.
I'm curious to know how the rest of women feel about the issue

I don't think OP wants to represent the whole cd community at all, it's impossible. He talks about a very simple issue - WHY can't he wear a skirt in public and present as a man without being ridiculed or even attacked. He is hoping it will change in the future. He is nothing to do with other cds whose situation is much more complex mentally. Partly obvioulsly it's also an issue for them that they can't walk in drag in the daytime without shocking people, but he wasn't talking about all of their issues hence doesn't represent them. Why is it that others can't see it as simple as that? it really is.

You have no idea where he gets his ideas from either or how he runs his home or whether he has a cleaner... So many assumptions...

Everyone has answered that over and over with a "you can, not really bothered" and plenty have said they think the barrier is more in his mind than in society.

The people I know can and do dress how they want when they want. We even had a drag bar here for a few years... There is not abuse of people who cd in my (small) town but I had such bad harassment from builders working on flats next to our house that I had to get the neighbourhood police involved recently. Seriously there is no evidence here to support the initial premise that society and MN are hostile towards cd.

Op is not even slight 'heavy' - and I don't like all of his expressions btw, as none of us is perfect , but I like the big picture as i say, and I like his taste. And him raising the question of a man who has no desire to be a woman or seen as one but just enjoy the clothes - btw women aer ahead in this as they wear mannish suits if they want to (if not an actual man's suit, but that should also be an option) and men who actually look good in a skirt are seen as just weird and 'less of a man' - note, not just by men but by lots of women. It doesn't make sense and that's what the htread is about, It is NOT about every single aspect of gender roles in the house etc.

(I wear cowboy boots, they are just my shoes, they are comfortable, durable and I love them but the builders every day hung of the scaffolding shouting "ride em cowboy" and obscenities at me whenever I left the house sometimes with my children).

I'm not just assuming - he works on house extension, and wife works and earns a lot - he made nosecret of that - , so it makes sense they have a cleaner, if the wife doesn't CHOOSE to have a cleaner even though she can do, then it's her decision how to run the household and who works on extension, or a mutual decision. He also said she is very tidy by nature, so hardly assumptions. It's called 'getting the picture'.

That's what he says yes but the way he says it, you admit, is mildly sexist and the things he does don't actually fit with that ethos.

Being accused of discrimination I find heavy and also being lumped in with "the rest of women"

No it is called assuming...

well the builders are weird, but who knows what sort of village they live in - if his wife is too cautious about it then she may have reasons. Maybe it's not abuse but snugerring that they don't want as a family - horrible too.

it's also called nitpicking, what you are doing. He said 'rest of the women' - maybe he is just less refined in his language and less articulate than you, but I don't think he contradicts what he says with his behaviour, you aer still ignoring all my point regarding their equality as a couple. If you mean 'acts on MN' then it's open to interpretation (all he says) but his way of life is not contradictory - I bet there will be snigerring or eveb agression in small village and they don't want it to reflect on children, if you aer braver, great but it's not his individual decision if he has a family.

You have no idea about their equality as a couple, those are all assumptions you make and even some of those don't sound much like equality.

He says MN is hostile when it isn't, he says his village is hostile when he hasn't tested it and he says it is not shameful but he keeps it from his children to protect them. Those are some of the inconsistencies.

The biggest one is saying he doesn't agree with those sexist stereotypes about gender and then he actively promotes them.

To be fair, we have no idea of the 'bigger picture' of the OPs life. We rarely get to know our close friends and family that intimtely, let alone a complete stranger on the internet. He could be anyone.

We can only go on what he is saying. The discussion I have been having for the last 5 pages or so is not about cross dressing. Because if OP is not available to discuss that, then I will leave it.

The point that I was making was the irony of this thread. The OP is advocating tolerance, acceptance and equality and yet clearly exhibits sexism in his posts. This is not implied it is right there, for us to read and quote.

There are no degrees of sexism. Just as there are no degress of racism. You either believe men and women are equal, or you don't. You can't believe it 90% that just makes a mockery of equality.

Yes, he seems like a perfectly 'nice' bloke. I have friends like that. I'm not trying to change them. But OP is trying to change people's views here. And that's the irony of it.

Firstly, because he started with the assumption that he would have to persuade people that cross dressing was ok. When he met with no resistance, he asked us to ask our male partners.

Secondly because he assumed that because he was a man on a prominently female forum, he would get flamed. That didn't happen either.

Thirdly, because he used the 'helping with housework' line to show how he was into his feminine side and the 'working in construction' to show his masculine side.

These are all sexist and part of his personality, his integral beliefs. He was not even aware that he was being sexist and he probably did not mean to offend anyone.

I am not personally offended but I do feel if we point it out to him when he's doing it, it might make him more aware and help him achieve the equality he desperately wants.

And actually Likeatonne your comments are also sexist. You have made more ridiculous statements than he has, as to men with big fingers being too clumsy to do housework, etc. How did they live if they're not married then. Who looks after them when they leave their mothers? (Rhetorical question btw, don't feel you need to reply). That's offensive to men and women alike!

Do bigger hands make better or worse sock puppets?

Now, now Clanger, that's naughty

offred and fairenuff, both of you appear to be less than content by the manner of my responses and not answering questions. theres alot on here now so very difficult to go thru it all. what in particular are your concerns and questions that i haven't answered

fairenuff, i can't believe that you accuse me of being sexist! if you knew me you'd realise that i'm as far from that as you can be. yes i may have made the wrong assumption about being flamed, but your sexism comments are starting to make it look that way. misinterpretation of comments is easily done on a forum and can lead to a very skewed view of someone. equally i may be misinterpreting you and your'e not ripping me at all.

as regards the sexism claim, the onlr reason i made the initial comments re housework & construction was to let readers know that i am quite happy to do both and don't see housework as the womans role, but it is in fact the responsibility of both partners who contribute to creating that work. if theres ironing to do i'll do it, if the kittchen needs tidying and cleaning i'll do it, etc,etc. equally my dw "Helps" me with work on the hosue. but both of us have our strenghts and weaknesses when it comes to work, and we share, and thats the way it should be

likeatonneofbricks

"unicorn's H is a compltely different cd, to me it is obvious that he wants to be a woman even though unicorn doesn't believe so, it's theor both attitudes to housework, and she sees it humourously as far as i can tell."

RIGHT lets get some things straight my partner not my husband does NOT what this penis chopped off and have hormone treatment to become a women OK he likes to wear womens clothes and when doing so can be asked to help with the house work due to my Partners line of work ie shift work the housework falls on me as i work days however when my partner is in female mode she is more willing to help with the house work. What is WRONG WITH THAT? My ex husband never did any housework ! I DONT see me viewing crossdressing as a sterotypicaly viewpiont in that I KNOW ALOT OF MEN AND TRANSGENDER men (the transgender men are the ones wanting to have hormone treatment and become a WOMEN) who have been left by there girlfirends wives etc ( I have many friends who think its great that I support my Cross dressing partner ) This that spo wrong to support the person you love and who you want to see happy the only reason I replied to this thread was to show support to the OP and to show a view of a bio women having a fab realtionship with a CD I am bowing out now as I have been called things on this thread which have upset and angered me assupmetions about my views have been made and I really cant be bothered to talk to people who wont bother asking me a question directly

• i know alot of cross dressing men and transgender men

offred, i don,t want this to deteriorate into a slanging match so i'll try to repond to your earlier comments from this afternoon. the one you say is the biggest is that i actively promote gender stereotypes. can you explain how you think i'm doing that?

Offred, love, I suggest you don't qualify that with a reply

The transparency of the requests for further copy are patronising and becoming embarassingly obvious

no we don't have a cleaner. dw works v. hard but doesn't earn anywhere near what she deserves in my opinion, blame the austerity for that!

as i've said before, we choose not to be public mainly because of the children, they always come first! i was a bit braver in the past but the time now isn't right.

any, where on earth do you get such ridiculous ideas