womens attitudes to crossdressing

[calikid]

hi everyone,

i write this as a response to the numerous comments on a variety of posts regarding reaction to any stories where crossdressing is a subject. Firstly i'd like to make it clear that i am male and as such appreciate i may be laying myself bare to the onslaught of comment that is likely to come my way. although male i love to wear "womens clothes". What I would like to know is simply why shouldn't I. can anyone give me one valid reason why I shouldn't? because I have never been able to think of one.
I am happily married with two dds and a beautiful wife , all of whom i love very much. My wife knows all about my dressing and has been with me to a couple of tv gatherings. i told her not long after we got together and she was totally fine with it, we have been married now for 8 yrs. we do not let the children know as they are still quite young.
In all other respects I am very much one of the lads......I like football and beer (but then so do many women!), i work in construction, I teach martial arts, I help with housework , I don't mind ironing(coz i can do it while watching tv!)
I take a size 10 and look pretty good in a skirt and heels, but then so does my wife, its just she can do it whenever she pleases and good for her. its just the injustice and ignorance of society that infuriates me.
I'm curious to know how the rest of women feel about the issue

Helltotheno, I think you have misundrestood, he doesn't want to be seen as a woman as he says he'd prefer to go out in a skirt but with no wig/makeup and has very short hair. He want it to be an recongised option for a man to wear clothes that are only designated for women (unlike trousers that aer sold for both genders). It is simple - and to me, refreshing and modern.
so what if we discussed heels for two minutes - it wasn't just me, someone was suggesting boots etc.

Sadly a thread all about tolerance has probably only justified anyone reading this with intolerances.

it was a light hearted comment re ironing, the way they live their lives with dw IN ESSENSE, important things, is equal. He wants to appear androgynous - ask a really sexist man what does he think of that, and whether he'd call a guy like that a 'real man'. I.e. I'm sure lots of men aer sexist towards cds seeing then as 'inferior' no par with women or worse. OP shown that he treats dw as equal if not actually that she dominates a bit with big decisions, who cares about him doing ironing or not, really!

Helltotheno, I think you have misundrestood, he doesn't want to be seen as a woman as he says he'd prefer to go out in a skirt but with no wig/makeup and has very short hair

Likeatonne with respect, he also said this

as regards whether i want others to perceive me, if I'm out in full drag makeup etc, I would like to appear as a woman to strangers and blend in as do most cds but I 've got no allusions that this is always or perhaps even ever achievable, maybe at a distance

OP has contradicted himself throughout this thread.

And no-one cares about him doing the ironing, it's the point that he sees it primarily as a woman's role. How can you not see the distinction?

Read. My. Posts. Like.

I have explained how he is acting differently from what he is saying a million times over. I'm not asking him to do anything differently, I'm asking him not to come on here and judge all of MN and all of women for being hostile when he is actually the one who in his behaviour is displaying the hostile attitudes. To. Himself....

Right so a "really sexist man" considers a man who does the ironing not to be a "real man" but the op who is implying that being a woman involves doing the ironing is not being sexist at all...

i can see the distinction but it's a very minor 'sexism' whereas the important things he doesn't treat in sexist manner (life/work choices for the wife, who decides what and when to tell children, her clothes getting past down) - I'm surprised people can't see the bigger pictures. Not every man has shaken off every little bit of sexism yet, but he's doing hell of a lot better than most who aer hypocrites, i.e. are careful ewhat they say re housework but in important decisions they aer always the boss.
Yes, to the first paragraph - when in full drag, but he often isn't in full drag, and what he really wants is no 'drag' at all just to be free to wear clothes he finds pleasant and that he can carry off without with his own short hair. He said that going to clubs requires full drag as that's the only real choice at the moment. At home he doesn't become a 'she' and keeps own name.

And lurking that's why it's sticking in my craw so much because actually from the off all it has done is play to all kinds of unhelpful stereotypes about gender and cd.

I read your posts Offred, I get equal impression you don't read mine. maybe we just don't understand each other.

Again you think it is minor. I don't think it is minor because it is in addition to promoting sexism is promoting sexism as a fundamental characteristic of cd, having known a number of diverse individuals who happen to cd for a variety of reasons and in a variety of ways I find it offensive on both of those levels, the sexism and the cd assumptions and I'm irritated that it was not even noticed or discussed until it was being asked in a way that was described as "outrage" and "extreme sensitivity" despite discussion of the issues being stated as the aim of the op.

I do think he has from that at least given the impression he was only ever after titillation and attention at the expense of the forum and I happen to think they are serious topics that shouldn't be used for entertainment.

I don't see hostility to himself, or to mn women (maybe he was a bit defensive to start with, but not hostile) - it's how you see it, which is your right obv. But don't state for everyone please, not fair.

"it's a very minor sexism"

yes, I think this, you think that, both opinions can be valid, but we may never agree, you just sound very heavy and serious and I don't agree with this view on life, I like to embrace imperfections, OP is not perfect, neither am I, but essentially his attitude is not BAD, and essentially I'm not missing the point, but there is always room for criticism if you go with fime tooth comb. Generally people aer not likely to respond well to heavy handed jungememnts though, God he made itslip about ironing whereas the rest of their life is equal and you come on to him like a Hawk together with Faire, I really think it's OTT.

Except I didn't "come onto him like a hawk" he completely ignored me and the significant number of other posters who repeatedly asked him about it.

I'm with Offred, at the end of my second glass I have no interest in being quoted in this lying, non CDing Daily Fail's article, so feel free to speak for me. :)

Oh, and I dress very stereotypically feminine. Doesn't define who I am. Sadly if OP truly got this, he wouldn't be thrown in cutesy anecdotes about how he's building blah blah blah.

Btw my point just then was that it isn't me who is actually continuously stating their opinion as fact, I've picked you up on it several times.

yess, Offred, you can laugh but no one is perfect and most people aer not perfectly non-sexists, industrious, or non racists - if they aer going in the right direction it's enough for me, it's a process of self development. To me people ae either decent or twats and that's what matters, of they are developing then let them. You maybe perfectly non sexist and OP is only 90% - what a horror! I think 90% is great, hell of a lot better than average, as we haven't grown up in a non sexist society.

No one needed to go through with a fine tooth comb..It was right there in the OP as someone else has already quoted!

I have people in my life who I really care about who CD, the examples I've seen here disgust me to my very core.

It would be like if Perez Hilton represented gay men.

Uhh...I wasn't aware we were judging sexism in percentages now?

When I start online dating maybe I should say 'only those of 95% higher need apply.'

I'm really outta here now, my tongue is too loose. Genuinely shocked.

Again, that is your way of seeing things. I don't put people into "bad" or "good" boxes. I try to just look at behaviour and if I am going to make value judgements only make value judgements about that.

It is not about who is nice, who is not but about not excusing or tolerating sexism or discriminatory stereotypes. I don't see why it should be tolerated because the op who you have never met seems nice.

maybe it's the heavy manner that you ask him that leads to no desire to engage! as I say try to look at the bigger picture of OP's and his wife's life, not nitpick on some remark that came from a conventional upbringing, but it does not define him in his personal life.

And actually from the OP's comments he is probably one of the most sexist people I have encountered recently.

But I have stated over and over like that I didn't ask in a "heavy way" to start with and other people who have asked things in a "heavy way" have been answered. Not to mention that the op is worded in a "heavy way" itself!

This is a bit like my grandma who hates all kinds of things unless she likes you and then they are ok...