womens attitudes to crossdressing

[calikid]

hi everyone,

i write this as a response to the numerous comments on a variety of posts regarding reaction to any stories where crossdressing is a subject. Firstly i'd like to make it clear that i am male and as such appreciate i may be laying myself bare to the onslaught of comment that is likely to come my way. although male i love to wear "womens clothes". What I would like to know is simply why shouldn't I. can anyone give me one valid reason why I shouldn't? because I have never been able to think of one.
I am happily married with two dds and a beautiful wife , all of whom i love very much. My wife knows all about my dressing and has been with me to a couple of tv gatherings. i told her not long after we got together and she was totally fine with it, we have been married now for 8 yrs. we do not let the children know as they are still quite young.
In all other respects I am very much one of the lads......I like football and beer (but then so do many women!), i work in construction, I teach martial arts, I help with housework , I don't mind ironing(coz i can do it while watching tv!)
I take a size 10 and look pretty good in a skirt and heels, but then so does my wife, its just she can do it whenever she pleases and good for her. its just the injustice and ignorance of society that infuriates me.
I'm curious to know how the rest of women feel about the issue

I have very, very, very long blonde hair.

If i chopped it all off tomorrow I'd still be as much of a woman.

Ths SmallClanger - really, oh forgive me for stating the facts, or having an opinion that most women would share (that there is nothing wrong with differences and the attraction is based on them AS well as personalities etc, that's why most couples aer heterosexual, after that how they divide their roles in the house or at work is their choice) - you can argue with biology all you like, it sounds like a teenage tantrum. It's when people say that male is better than female or the other way, then it's a problem, isn't that OBVIOUS? only too pleased to say bye to you.

Lurking what is your point? lots of men, esp hippie have very long hair - OP doesn't bother with wig when indoors or even out at times.

But clothes are not biology... Are they?

I was adding to the discussion of clothes/hair/makeup do not equal woman.

'Clothes, shoes and hair are not integral parts of gender, they are affectations and social constructs.'
YES Offred and that is the point of this thread - that people in general do not see it like that and OP has a problem to wear what he likes for fear of him or the children being ridiculed/attacked. He is trying to see here whether most women have a problen or not - and some posters don't want to see it in the streets and most said thay wouldn't want to be a partner to a cd, if everyone shared your opinion there would be no issue for cds.

'clothes are not biology' - that was not to yout post but for theSmall who found it offensive that men and women are different physically. I do know trhis, that's whyu I understand OP, I wouldn't if i didn't agree with that statement, would I?

Lurking who said they were equal a woman? OP says he's a man, not trying to be a woman. him wearing a skirt doesn't make him a woman, as he said many times.

Yes and my point is that is what he SAYS is the point of the thread but what he has discussed is none of the actual real concepts that have concerned the (damaging) linking of gender identity to superficial affectations or behaviours which have been ignored in favour of silly giggling about kitten heels. Not to mention that actually none of the points he makes about hostility have really been supported by him or anyone else, overwhelmingly the responses that were in anyway negative have been NIMBY (I think).

Not referencing the OP's CD. Referencing the blatant sexism in this thread that infers that the way I dress is what 'actually' makes me a woman.

Offred he did answer about affectations - he doesn't do it apart from walking /sitting differently in a skirt. What doesn't he actually do, that he should be doing? apart from cd-ing in a village which we already covered? genuinely interested, not a snide q.

Lurking er who do you refer to, if not OP? I personally also have a problem with many posters who don't understand that OP is not trying to be a woman by wearing skirt. Surely people can take his 'ironing' as a humourous remark, or at lwast hardly relevant?

Actually to be blunt, I believe it was you who said your partner does more housework when he's dressed up, as did the OP. I find that incredibly offensive. All the references to how he's more sensitive and talks more about his feelings...Those sorts of stereotypes are just as degrading to men as they are to women, and it really doesn't sit well with me. Basically to the point I think your DH is a sexist knob.

Of course you can live your life the way you want, but I admit that thought pattern makes me extremely uneasy.

Bowing out now, as I agree with AnyFucker (as usual! ) that this is just a writer hunting for opinions.

I really don't care what people choose to wear (just clothes) it's when it's associated with a gender 'role' it makes me uncomfortable. It's like forcing one gender to conform to what someone else believes makes them, 'them.'

Anyway, I'm off to other threads, watch my movie and drink some bubbly. :)

Offred I think the avpoidance of hostility is mainly his wife's choice (and not telling children) which he respects, maybe they will get braver about it. I thought he did discuss it, and so did I, that clothes are just clothes and he remains true to male identity unlike say unicorn's dp who wants to bear female name and be a 'she' most of the time. He is making a distinction that i found interesting as i didn't know that some cd do not take a persona but I can now imagine it really well a man living a conventional life apart from wearing the clothes sometimes and seeing it as sensual - obviously in his case because of his mother's preferances, which he doesn't resent which in itself is interesting. what exactly hasn't he discuassed that yo uwant to - why not ask him direct questions again?

surely we aer allowed light relief for five minutes discussing heels, it was a 10% of the thread at most, just skip it if you are not interested, no thread on here is interesting to everyone all of the time.

Apologies likeatonofbricks, it was unicorn's hubby who pissed me off not tours!

I have, a long time back thread. I am aware this is predominantly his wife's choice. That's not my point.

I've had a relationship with a cd man, I have had a lot of friends who cd or who are tv. I find this thread a bit of an insult to them actually.

eh? you are confusing me with unicorn, Lurking, I don't have a cd partner, I'm single.

unicorn's H is a compltely different cd, to me it is obvious that he wants to be a woman even though unicorn doesn't believe so, it's theor both attitudes to housework, and she sees it humourously as far as i can tell.

But it has been either light entertainment or high-giving with people who were in the club for the whole thread. The points have been raised many times and never answered and now that I escalated the manner in which I was asking (the same thing over and over) someone is actually discussing it but it was up until that point raised many times by many posters and just glossed over.

I personally also have a problem with many posters who don't understand that OP is not trying to be a woman by wearing skirt.

Au contraire likeatonne, my understanding is that he wants to be SEEN as a woman when dressed up. Obv there's no point in him trying to BE a woman--there's that little matter of his willy for a start.

And as for this: surely we aer allowed light relief for five minutes discussing heels, that was just you and the OP; I don't think many other women wake up in the morning trying to decide what class of kitten heel they'll wear; I'm usually more concerned about which of my thready primark knickers is still fit for purpose....
In fact those posts made it seem like the OP only came on here to indulge in a bit of wardrobe discussion - no prob, if it's a separate thread.

why not just say what your point is Offred? everyone repeats q's if they aer not promptly answered, it's a busy thread. Why repeat how it's not answered when no one knows what you mean, would be quicker to ask again. I don't think he is the usual cd, so it doesn't have to be offensive to all of them, he just states his own situation and did cover some other cd types of mentality.

OP do you employ a cleaner?

Are you non-English in origin.

Two assumptions that have been made, based on, well I'm not sure so that's why I'm asking you.

Likeatonne It still remains that women do not like working in construction (vast majority) and men are often clumsy with cleaning, it's irrelevant and reflects phyical attributes (delicate fingers that women have, muscle and thicker skin that men have)

Can men not perform cleaning tasks then? Those who work in engineering, electronics, microbiology, surgeons, etc. Too clumsy to load a washing machine or operate a hoover?

OP most of us on this thread are showing that we are open-minded and in fact have asked specific questions in order to provide a well-informed opinion. You have shown yourself to be quite shallow and prejudiced and have not bothered to answer most of the questions.

What did you hope to gain from starting this thread? It could have been such an interesting and informative discussion. Instead, you're making it into a bit of a joke.

It seems clear that there is no 'standard' cross dresser, just as there is no 'standard' gay person, or 'standard' woman or just plain no 'standard' person. We are all individuals, we all do what we do for a variety of reasons.

I think, rather than canvassing opinions on your particular hobby/lifestye choice, you might be better advised to look at some of your own prejudices.

Regarding preconceived beliefs and prejudices, your opening post spoke volumes, Firstly i'd like to make it clear that i am male and as such appreciate i may be laying myself bare to the onslaught of comment that is likely to come my way

Then there was the footie/cleaning divide.

Then it all fell apart.

I don't know why you started this thread. You said you wanted to know women's opinions on men who cross dress. Well most of us said we didn't care what other people do but would not want our own partner to do it. Some have entered into relationships knowing that their partner cross dresses and are happy with it. Is that it?

You could have achieved so much more from starting this discussion. Shame.

Totally agree fairenuff.

and yes Lurking unicorn's H and her own outlook is stereotypical but as they aer genuinely happy it's surely their choice? I think her H is very fragile emotionally as he is desperate to get back to 'she' mode when he needs to be dressed as male, to me you can't judge people who can't control their unusual needs. He obv loves to be a stereotypical woman - it's very complex and difficult to judge, and it is his own choice. As he is hardly ever a 'he' then it's hard to call him a sexist (maybe he is towards men )