womens attitudes to crossdressing

[calikid]

hi everyone,

i write this as a response to the numerous comments on a variety of posts regarding reaction to any stories where crossdressing is a subject. Firstly i'd like to make it clear that i am male and as such appreciate i may be laying myself bare to the onslaught of comment that is likely to come my way. although male i love to wear "womens clothes". What I would like to know is simply why shouldn't I. can anyone give me one valid reason why I shouldn't? because I have never been able to think of one.
I am happily married with two dds and a beautiful wife , all of whom i love very much. My wife knows all about my dressing and has been with me to a couple of tv gatherings. i told her not long after we got together and she was totally fine with it, we have been married now for 8 yrs. we do not let the children know as they are still quite young.
In all other respects I am very much one of the lads......I like football and beer (but then so do many women!), i work in construction, I teach martial arts, I help with housework , I don't mind ironing(coz i can do it while watching tv!)
I take a size 10 and look pretty good in a skirt and heels, but then so does my wife, its just she can do it whenever she pleases and good for her. its just the injustice and ignorance of society that infuriates me.
I'm curious to know how the rest of women feel about the issue

My point about the flamboyant language btw was because I think it is another indicator this is all about the drama...

This post appeared to be asking about serious concepts, now it is a bit of fun but you are learning psychology from it? What? Could you be anymore confused here.

This is precisely why I'm feeling alienated because it seems like one big attention-seeking pisstake with some harmful stereotypes in the context of what has been framed as a serious discussion.

That he is portraying it as "femaleness" and dividing it from "maleness"

The OP is very probably a writer looking for copy, anyway

These threads often are, so not worth getting your frilly knickers in a twist whether it's a bloke or a woman that wearin' 'em

there, that's my light hearted take on this

Offred he did go out in a skirt with no wig/makeup, so his dressing is not so stereotypical, but with small children in a village anyone sensible would be careful, at least it takes time to test the waters. He also said the heels aer more aesthetically suitable with a skirt, and I agree, unless the skirt is long but he doesn't seem to wear long skirts.
Why aer you shouted at? do you dress as a man? respect for the courage, but it's not for everyone, you probab;ly identify with your clothes much more than OP does, the whole point of his list of maleness is to say he is not like many other cds who like to take on female persona, it's not to boast. It's true that majority of women aer not muscular/armed or into beer/foorball, I can't see how is that offensive - they don't choose to be, it's available for those who want those choices!

likeatonne, you are indulging in stereotypes now.

fwiw, I've got tiny, tiny "delicate" fingers and work in a largely physical job, where being bitten by animals is a common danger. And I'm shit at housekeeping.

The little barbed asides about "career women" and cleaning are completely derailing any interesting discussion there has been about cross-dressing, visual gender roles and related subjects. I'm getting the feeling now that the OP and you don't really want to discuss them.

Also, the little snippies about what heels go better with what skirt can be read, quite easily, as digs at the women on here who have said they don't go for the stereotypical femme look themselves.

AnyFucker that was a good line.

Clothes are clothes to me. I don't get what message he is trying to send about cd, all he is doing is discussing himself and his likes/dislikes and thoughts as a person. I'm finding it offensive partly for the stereotypes it is promoting about genders and cd and all of the fawning about the special club people are or aren't in. I mean I do even feel a little uncomfortable with the term cd because to me clothes, shoes and hair are not and should not be seen as integral parts of someone's sex. I think that is a fundamentally unhealthy belief to have.

You might say cd could be seen as just a name for a group of (diverse) people based on the wearing of clothes etc that are outside what is normally socially acceptable for their gender, that's I think kind of what the op is saying he thinks but then what he is doing speaks differently.

I don't identify with my clothes more than the op, quite the opposite btw. The clothes I wear are the clothes I like. I don't see why being shouted at in the street should influence what clothes I wear.

you know men and women ARE physically, sexually and to some extent psychologically different, what is wrong with that if both (in the UK) can choose not to be typical to whatever degree they want. I think the whoe western world is moving towards androgyny, but it's not completely there yet, and won't be for a while. I don't understand why somene pointing out the differences is seen as offensive - the differences make sexes attract each other sexually. I think it's the opposite, denying some traditionally feminine traits and taste/activities to be seen as equal is anti-feminists. Maybe your owm experience makes you extremely sensitive and that's undrestandable but you have to accept that any form of strong individuality is frowned upon by closed minded people. Not just to do with gender roles.

Bingo.

Bye bye.

Oh here we go again with "your experience makes you sensitive"...

Logically speaking if I was sensitive don't you think I'd just wear things that made me fit in.

Clothes, shoes and hair are not integral parts of gender, they are affectations and social constructs.

I find the comments here about femininity fairly offensive. More housework when you're dressed as a woman? Lovely.

I've never had any experience with CD, I wouldn't care if my friends or professors or brother did it but I tried to picture myself in some scenarios mentioned here with a CD partner of my own and I admit I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Just not for me.

So yeah, indifferent over here too. Unless it was my relationship, I wouldn't want t. I'm not attracted to it.

wearing a frock doesn't make you more like a woman

whether you are biologically male or biologically female

that seems to be what some people are saying on this thread

the little snippies about what heels go better with what skirt can be read, quite easily, as digs at the women on here

Quite, although I personally don't see that as a dig, to me it's just mind-numbingly boring, and somewhat irritating. If you want to talk about whether you prefer silk or satin knickers, or the merits and demerits of stilettos v boots, just take it to another thread, because that sort of 'in club' mutual backslapping doesn't really have any place in a serious debate on the subject.

SmallClanger, we were discussing cds and visual untill someone got outraged about the whole thing being offensive and judging other posters language - that's not how i see it, and my opinion is as valid as Offred's. I don't see it offensive or criticise poster's language when it's on topic of cds. Physical work with animals is different from construction, I was only mentioning construction as it's relevasnt to OP who works there and his wife doing more inthe house than he does because they choose to not because it's always supposed to be like that - and the fact remains that most women do not work in construction, why is the word stereotype bandied about so much, some thimgs aer just facts. Heels - not a snide remark, again I said many times that i have a good eye for proportion and enjoy discussing outfits, and so does OP, it is not in any way me telling all women to wear heels. I don't wear them much as I'm more of a jeans type, but when i do wear slirts the look is much more elegant with some heel rather than flats, but obv it's not imperative to anyone. Why is artyistic judgement suddenly anything to do with feminism? it does frustrate me, this agression and jumping on every word. I work in workd of art and express what my traine deye can see - why do you think ther are styling programmes on tv - people often dress the way they do because they have no clue what suits then not to prove some gender role point.

I don't have a style as such, sometimes it is a bit boho, sometimes a bit burlesque, sometimes a bit steam punk, sometimes a bit goth and sometimes I am cycling my cargo bike with all four children in my sports stuff and cycle helmet, I don't actually care what people think about what I look like at all. Sometimes I feel intimidated by people (small town mentality) who are trying to intimidate me. I don't think the correct thing to do is react to it in any way, I simply carry on as before wearing the clothes that I like or that are appropriate to the task in hand.

I don't know if you missed it likeatonne but this has been consistently raised for a long time on this thread and consistently ignored too.

Offred, you have to consder that people aer different - some affected by shouting, some not. I would be, I'd rather tone down whatever I'm doing and express it to friends if i was unconventional in my image. You can't tell Op to ignore it if he has wife's opinion and children to consider - it's the wife who decided not to tell children, shows again he's not some sterettypical male boss of the family!

You are the only one mentioning feminism on here...

You miss the point, the only point is that the op says a lot of things and does the opposite of them.

Offred, not sure what do you mean I missed/got ignored on the thread? about your attitude to disapproval?
I think to be fair your styles are not as extrene a statement as a man dressing like a woman, or if say you dressed in a man's suit, which to the conventional people is crossing the line. He could be attacked - esp as he is male - is it worth it, it's up to him to decide. Also many would assume he was gay and they do get attacked.

no I'm not the only one - gender roles aer the feminist subject - and you were offended by them, what does it matter which word is used, the meaning is hte same.

Stereotype is being used because the things being described are actually as you say often just what the op and his family do in their family but they are being stated in a way that is "we do these feminine/masculine things" as though they are integral to either gender.

No, about the stereotyping of gender roles and affectations. It was raised over and over by many people and ignored.

I don't see why gender roles are a feminist subject?