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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Don't shout

87 replies

atosilis · 28/07/2012 18:10

every now and then I come on here and complain. Today we had an anniversary and he went mental because I wouldn't have sex. We had a friend staying - won't even go down that path - but I am so sad, I have lost the friend and went to the funeral of my best friend who killed herself. I have cut my leg and it won't stop bleeding and I just wa ted a nice weekend

OP posts:
Original poster
atosilis · 28/07/2012 19:31

I have to get myself to realise that a weekend I was so looking forward to, SO looking forward to is gone. But I will see my parents tomorrow and extended family and realise that life is good. My children know about my insanities but I don't want my baby grand daughter to see nutty me. I just wanted to be treated nicely for one weekend.

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 28/07/2012 19:33

How go you know you won't see her again ever? That sounds dramatic, what else happened to come to that conclusion?

Dprince · 28/07/2012 19:33

but he is a dick. Why would you want him to pretend everything is great just because its you anniversary. He is a dick all year round. If he doesn't care enough to treat you well the rest of the year, what makes this weekend different?
Please note that had you have left your husband, you and your friend would have probably had a nice weekend.

Original poster
atosilis · 28/07/2012 19:34

Dprince, yes on purpose but now ok

OP posts:
Dprince · 28/07/2012 19:36

Well its not 'ok' is it? You stabbed yourself because of what?
is your gp aware of these goings on?

Houseofplain · 28/07/2012 19:37

It's not ok, it's not. You've just stabbed yourself in the leg with a knife. All your posts are all over the place, the emotions pouring through. You are married to a nasty man.

Is there anyone in real life you can turn to right now, say your children? So you don't feel so alone?

keithlemonsbackdoors · 28/07/2012 19:37

How are you feeling now? Are you on your own?

Could you not see your friend away from your OH? (he sounds like a total shit, by the way.) What makes you so sure that you won't see her again?

Dprince · 28/07/2012 19:38

let me rephrase that. You stabbed yourself on purpose. The why is the most important thing at the moment.

NaturalWinningNaturesTeamGB · 28/07/2012 19:39

Hi atosilis, would you be able to contact mind or your gp about your self harming? It is really important that you find someone in rl to help with this.

Original poster
atosilis · 28/07/2012 19:40

Olympia, this is one of those friendships that you carry around but - if you met them NOW you would have nothing in common. I was woken up at 8 am with his finger inside me, I was distressed but he was angry.

OP posts:
NaturalWinningNaturesTeamGB · 28/07/2012 19:42

Atosilis, can you ask one of your dc to help atm?

keithlemonsbackdoors · 28/07/2012 19:48

Right, you've patched up your leg, now it's time do the same for your mind. I would strongly suggest getting to your gp on Monday & also making plans to leave this poor excuse for a man. SH is a coping mechanism - I think you are stronger than you imagine.

Original poster
atosilis · 28/07/2012 19:49

I was looking forward to seeing my friend but she lied and lied, I do know that she and Oh and the funeral have tipped me. I also know where to go for help, counsellor on Monday. Thank you for all your kindness when you must get fed up of this but sometimes I browse my files of sorrow, find nothing so just scream.

OP posts:
izzyizin · 28/07/2012 19:50

Honey, why are you sharing a bed with this hateful man?

Please stop punishing yourself; stop promising you're going to leave him - feel the damn fear and do it anyway.

If you get the fuck away from him you'll cease to be in a place of torment and torture.

mumblecrumble · 28/07/2012 19:51

He did what? That is vile, disgusting and not a man you should be with.

What are his nice features?

mumblecrumble · 28/07/2012 19:54

get out,

he is (not so) slowly distroying you

izzyizin · 28/07/2012 19:54

If you read atolisis's other threads, you'll see that he doesn't have any, mumble.

Atolisis, you must get away from him and start living life the way it's meant to be lived - with joy and verve and gusto.

Dprince · 28/07/2012 19:55

Come on op, what's the story? In full. You were looking forward to her coming? But now she won't visit due to atmosphere she is not going to visit again. You have decided not to see her anymore, you are ok with that, that its just one of those things. Now you are saying she has lied?
Why don't you start at the beginning.

Original poster
atosilis · 28/07/2012 19:57

He's not hateful but he believes in conjugal rights. He is kind and sad. We are the living example of the blind leading the blind

OP posts:
Original poster
atosilis · 28/07/2012 20:08

She said she was coming to stay with me. I took the day off work to pick her up from the airport but then she said that friend 2 would pick her up and they would come to me for lunch. I made a huge buffet of salad, salmon and puddings. I rang and rang and their phones were off. They finally turned up at 7pm. This morning she said she had to leave to get to the airport. I rang a taxi but friend2 turned up to say they were off shopping. I am OK, I will cope with twats and I will cry for P. You lot are very supportive and thanks x

OP posts:
izzyizin · 28/07/2012 20:09

He may be sad but, from your other threads, it's abundantly clear that he is not kind, honey.

It's also clear from your other threads that you are not blind. You saw the writing on a wall a long time ago but, for reasons which I can't fathom, you've chosen to stay locked in a relationship that is destroying your mental and emotional health - and you're risking your physical wellbeing by self-harming.

Why are you punishing yourself in this way?

Olympia2012 · 28/07/2012 20:11

What happened to your plan to get out?

izzyizin · 28/07/2012 20:14

With the best will in the world, honey, you must see that no-one in their right mind would want stay in the toxic atmosphere that is your home for one minute longer than they had to.

It seems you've been accustomed to breathing poison gas but look what it's caused you to do to yourself?

Please, get out and start inhaling the oxygen of a life well-lived with people who enhance it for you.

Original poster
atosilis · 28/07/2012 20:16

He is not well, I am his contact with the outside world. I understand yr annoyance, I get annoyed too. I can cope normally, I work full time but this week has been the anal sphincter of weeks.

OP posts:
izzyizin · 28/07/2012 20:16

Atolisis, you made plans to leave, and you said that as soon as you'd eBayed certain items you were off.

That was months ago. What happened to those plans?

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