is it unfaithful if your separated

[loganberry12]

What your opion ? My husband and i have been separated for nearly 5 months now when i said to my sister he was being unfaithful in my mind even if we were separated she said
id if your separated your free to sleep with who you want.
just wondered what others thought.
He left me and kids.

I was referring to the advice izzyizin gave you early in the thread about seeing a solicitor.

When I talked about formalising things, I meant with regard to maintainence (i.e through the CSA or through a private agreement set up through a solicitor) and again with visiting your dd. You can either have a solicitor draw up an agreement, or you can go through the court so the dates and times your ex sees you dd are set in stone and he can't mess you about.

Whilst it is nice to have flexibility I know that in my SIL case her ex just messed her about with seeing the kids and would cancel at short notice, or change what time he was going to bring them back and this left her hanging around all the time as she had to be home for them to be dropped off. Once she put her foot down, he took her to court and a formal visitation plan was set out (sadly her ex didn't stick to it and hasn't seen the kids for months), but it meant she could make her own plans with the children.

This is going to be hard for you, and seeing a solicitor may be horrible as it will make things seem final, but I think that may help you to move on. It will take time but you will come to terms with this.

Are you me from 5 yrs ago?? My now exh told me that he didnt want to be with me, he wanted time to himself, he wanted time to himself. On the same day i moved out he was with his OW. About a month later i started divorce proceedings.

Legally it is adultery however if u are separated with no chance of getting back together then he hasnt been unfaithful as in his mind hes told you its over & no chance of getting back together.

Right now you are grieving but it will get better. You will have a better life without him.

I would say once separated its not cheating. I have been separated 8months and am now dating. My divorce is firmly on its way, petition etc has been issued, got to go to court to dispense with any further attempts at serving the petition to my ex as he hasn't acknowledged it, but I now see myself as a free agent.

Sorry you are going through this though (((hugs))) you obviously still care about him

Sorry you are still so devastated by your x actions. It sounds to me as if you are already separated but in name, and he has already moved on, hence dating. I would follow the advice of the other posters and begin divorce proceedings. You will only be able to move on when things are finalised. You are luckier tHan some in that your home is your home, and there will be little upheaval other than the personnal grief involved.