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Original poster

Is he being tight? Money in a relationship and who pays what.

72 replies

secretcowgirl · 23/07/2012 21:38

Hi I'm looking for some advice/thoughts about how you divide things up financially with bf's and what seems fair. I've been in a relationship with bf for over a year (we live apart). The thing is that i am a single mum working part time and struggling to pay mortgage on home previously shared with ex. Things are really tough recently, there is no disposable income once all the bills are paid and am having to be really careful about buying food and have had to give up wine :(
BF earns four times as much as me and expects that we go halves on everything. He has turned up at my house for the weekend in the past with red wine for himself and no white wine for me even though I have bought food/wine etc for both of us. Is this normal or is he a stingy tightwad??

OP posts:
scarletforya · 23/07/2012 21:43

Stingy tightwad!

Babylon1 · 23/07/2012 21:44

Stingy tightwad I'm afraid Sad

grobagsforever · 23/07/2012 21:46

Tightwad. Sorry.

LemonBreeland · 23/07/2012 21:47

Very tight!! He sounds like an arse.

DontmindifIdo · 23/07/2012 21:53

tightwad.

They rarely change. Accept this for the rest of your life or move on.

iknowwho · 23/07/2012 21:53

Tight, mean, selfish and any other tight wad adjectives you can think of.

He wouldn't do for me!

Squeegle · 23/07/2012 21:54

Not normal. He should be spoiling you at this stage! What are his good points?

Oogaballoo · 23/07/2012 21:56

Tightwad, for sure.

Mum2Fergus · 23/07/2012 21:59

Stingy tightwad...sorry Sad

janelikesjam · 23/07/2012 21:59

Sadly, I think when you get negative "vibes" about money, its not good news. A man being stingy or weird or calculating about money (sounds like all 3 to me) is a horrible feeling IME. Do you think there is a subliminal message about what he thinks of you OP?

janelikesjam · 23/07/2012 22:01

Sometimes there is something slightly sadistic too, you know they have the money, you don't, and they're not gonna share it Angry

Rosebud05 · 23/07/2012 22:02

Did you talk with him about it?

TheCrackFox · 23/07/2012 22:05

Tightwads are utterly incurable. Dump.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/07/2012 22:06

Free food, drink and a bed for the weekend and all he has to contribute is a lousy bottle of wine? In the list of 'epic fail boyfriend personality defects' I put being mean with cash right up there with halitosis. Next time he turns up for a weekend do a Mother Hubbard. Announce that you're all out of cash, food and booze but it's OK because he's just in time to take you grocery shopping... which he pays for, naturally.

littlebluechair · 23/07/2012 22:09

Horrible, selfish, mean, nasty, cruel tightwad. Bin him now!

dreamingbohemian · 23/07/2012 22:10

Ugh, tightwad.

It's just unkind, at the end of the day.

Inadeeptrance · 23/07/2012 22:16

What an arse! Stingy tightwad indeed!

Longtalljosie · 23/07/2012 22:17

Not only a lousy bottle of wine - but the sort he likes and she doesn't! Very bad sign...

Nobhead · 23/07/2012 22:17

He's tighter than a mermaids fanny! Get rid.

savoycabbage · 23/07/2012 22:19

It's unkind. And rude. You should treat the person you are in love with better than you treat yourself and better than you treat your friends.

And I have never said this before but leave the bastard. It's a symbol of how he feels about you and how he would treat you in the future.

If there were three slices of bacon left on the morning of your dd's wedding day would he eat them, or would he make them into a BLT for her, or you. That is the question.

tribpot · 23/07/2012 22:21

Going halves is one thing (still bloody stingy under the circs). But turning up with no wine for the hostess is just bloody rude. He's taking the piss.

paulapantsdown · 23/07/2012 22:23

mean with money - mean with love
run for the hills ... there is only misery in your future with this man

hatesponge · 23/07/2012 22:24

He's tight.

Being stingy is like an illness. You will end up like my friend who even when living with her then P used to get given a highlighted phone and grocery bill and asked to pay for her calls/items. The food was the best one, because he'd eat stuff she'd paid for, but used to tell her off for doing the same with his food. He also used to get upset if when they went to the pub they had an odd no of rounds & he'd bought one more - he'd then insist that she bought the first round the next time to 'even it out'!

Men like that never, ever, change. They only get more & more stingy.

Original poster
secretcowgirl · 23/07/2012 22:48

Well that seems pretty clear! I just got back on my comp. as it crashed and your answers made me laugh as well as confirming my fears. If i'm honest he's a bit reserved (withholding?) emotionally as well. Rosebud I have tried to talk to him about it once but he got very defensive and angry... I'm trying to think of his good points now, but am struggling. It all seemed so wonderful at first just having someone show a bit of interest after a 10yr dysfunctional and emotionally abusive relationship. I don't think he's a keeper. Thanks for the help in getting this clearer in my mind.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 23/07/2012 22:53

Pah, kick him to the kerb girlfriend.