why does ex's wife want to be my friend on facebook?

[feelinglonely]

I am friends with my ex on facebook and weve been exchanging msg and text once a while.Is been 8yrs since we split up but hes always been in contact.I left him bcos i wanted to settle down but he wasnt ready and he wasnt there when i needed him.I know he was hurt bcos he kept telling friends and family how much he still love me and want to do anything to have me back.I got married,had a son but it didnt work out,got back with him and we got on well.I had to relocate due to a better job offer,i manage to get one for him but yet again he wasnt ready to move with me.I got married and had three kids but he kept in contact and knew everything,sends romantic msg and tells me he still loves me.Unfortunately am seperated from my partner but i havent told him abt it.Dnt think it will be fair on him to get back with me after two marriages and four kids.(honestly i still love him).
I got a friend request from a woman on facebook and when i checked the photos,she had all this wedding pictures of them kissing,etc.I was shocked bcos i didnt know he was married so i sent him a msg to confirm but he didnt reply so i sopke to him on the phone which he confirmed they got married last two weeks.One of my friends attended so she confirmed too.Told him abt the friend request from his wife and he told me to ignore it.Am just confused why she want to be my friend.I dont hate her and am glad hes move on too but is just awkward.

She is insecure.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?

I think the kindest thing to do for all parties concerned would be for you to cut contact with him for good.

I don't think your relationship sounds healthy for either of you.

Do you know how much he has told his wife about you?

I agree with ivanapoo. It is unfair to drag this out, he has made a commitment to his wife, cut contact and let them get on with it.

I think the new wife has every reason to be insecure MrsJR, I would be livid if my new husband was as friendly with one of his exes. He may be married, but he doesn't sound as if he's moved on. He tells the OP he still loves her ffs, the new wife would have to be an idiot to be happy with their friendship.

OP, I think you should do as ivana suggests, and cut all contact.

It simply isn't fair to stay friends, not at all. You still love him. How do you think his wife would feel if she found out that you loved him, and him you?

You can't stay friends with him, not in an appropriate way.

thanks,i tried to cut contact with him when i got married but he happens to get in contact again,i may have to bloke him on facebook now.

i dont know what hes told the wife he just told me to ignore the request

Poor woman.

You have feelings for him and he has not-so-very-long-ago declared feelings for you. However he has just married and has asked you to ignore his wife without cutting his own contact.

After a track record of always loving you but never-quite-enough-tocommit or change his life in any way.

This all sounds so warped. You need to cut contact, as what is it possibly achieving - for anyone!?

It isn't so hard to cut contact, practically speaking, just don't ever respond to him!

If I was his wife I would also want to keep an eye on you+him with all you have said about the background.

lol @ Jennerosity,we live miles away fir us to be doing something behind his wifes back,to me we are just friends but i cant deny my feelings for him.Sometimes love is not enough.

I'm not saying you would get up to anything physically, but if neither of you have been able to cease to feel those emotions in all this time, that isn't a good sign. An affair can be emotional not just physical.

You both clearly have a spark together, who wants their husband to have that kind of spark with someone else?

You're not really much of friends if important life events such as getting married don't get mentioned and need prompting about.

feeling You may be miles away, but it's still possible to have an emotional affair.

He told you to ignore his wife's request. So, in essence, he is trying/wants to deceive her. Otherwise, what would be wrong with you being friends with her?

He wants to keep you separate.

If you have feelings for him, then unless you confessed them to his wife, any contact would be deceitful.

This kind of relationship is more dangerous, as it never really had closure. In a way it's easy to romanticise it - 'star-crossed/fated lovers' - and whilst you both harbour feelings for each other, then it can never be a truly platonic friendship. There will always be a 'what if?' there, and that is harmful to his marriage.

I know it's hard, but yes, you need to block him from Facebook, and also block his number on your phone.

It will get easier, and you can get on with life. Find someone, who is able to give themselves to you fully x

i know what you mean and this is affecting my relationships too.I ve just been comparing him to any man i meet and if they dont have those qualities i just feel cold towards them.

Tamisara said what I was trying to say though worded better - but since my post was laughable despite me not actually saying anything about you 'doing anything' whatever your respective locations I'll leave you to it, you have other people to give you the point of view you were asking for.

If you want to be with this man, and him you, then you have had plenty of chances. IMO you have missed your chance and you need to cut all contact. Would you really want a man who dicks about behind his wife's back?

i know i cant be with him(not with four kids).He deserve to move on and enjoy his marriage,i have no intentions of spliting them.Is just stupid love.

More pointless love really OP. You've tried it before and it hasn't worked so you're better off cutting your losses and moving on.
I understand you still having feelings for him though. I have a certain amount of feelings for most of my exes and am still friendly with them. It wouldn't bother me to accept a friend request from any of their partners though, cos nothing is going to happen with them.

It's obvious she sees you as a threat. If you're not a threat, accept her request. If you are, don't, and move on too. You know the answer yourself I'm sure :)

Thanks.jenner,I thought keeping an eye on me sounded funny to me but not in a bad way,I appreciate ur advice.Just not sure if is a GD idea to accept her.

He's not a nice man ...he's sniffing about , telling you he loves you , and got married two weeks ago ? .

Why he didn't tell you he had a fiancé , when he was declaring his undying love , was because he knows he is a cunt.

His poor wife ...that girl should be honeymooning with her new dh , instead she's cyberstalking his ex(s) because she knows he's up too something . She's trying to find out who. (( I said ex's because I don't think for a minute your the only one he's done this with .))

If he loves you so much ...why the fuck did he marry someone else ?

Op he is your ex for a very very good reason ...something told you it wasn't right with him , both times . Listen to that gut feeling ....it is rarely wrong.

Do yourself a favour , save yourself from any hassle and delete him from fb .

I ve just been comparing him to any man i meet and if they dont have those qualities i just feel cold towards them

What qualities are they OP? Inability to commit? Declaring his love for one woman while marrying another? Showing disregard for your feelings?

For whatever reason you have this man on a pedestal and I really hope you take him off it and give yourself a chance of happiness instead.

My advice would be block him on FB and email, delete his number, change yours and forget he ever existed.

He was sending all those msgs whiles planning his wedding,he thinks am still married and there's no way we can be together so dnt know why he couldnt tell me.I left bcos he was layer back,never took life serious and always clubbing. I've also found out after the wedding he's still not move in with her due to his work.

I think you are asking all the wrong questions...
Get shed of this guy, as quick as you can.
You say you are too far apart geographically to do anything behind his wife's back - but thanks to him, you already are doing something behind her back.

I believe that exes can be friends, but that is not what you have described. He's not been honest with either you or his wife, and you aren't nearly pissed off enough about that!

Thanks again.I have to stop comparing other guys with him after all he couldn't give me the happiness I ever wanted with him (sad).He was just everything I looked for in a man but realistically that wasn't enough.
If I accept her she will find out all the comments from him on my pics which will break her heart.She's requested friends from my sister n she's accepted her.My sister didn't see anything wrong with that and I can't choose her friends. My friend also just told me she's been asking her questions abt me.I just don't understand why she want information abt me. They are married and am no where near to do anything with him[confused ]