Advice for menopausal mom with anxiety & depression

[Lostmom]

I am embarrassed to admit the struggle I am having with menopause. I am lucky to not suffer from hot flashes but feel like an insecure teenager with angst over my aging body & lack of confidence.

I recently retired after over 30 years in professional healthcare much to the dismay of my DH. His lack of emotional support is very disappointing!

I feel so lost and can't seem to move forward.

I watch my diet and exercise regularly and would like to age gracefully but find this new stage to be stressful.

Sounds as if you have two issues here - entering menopause and lack of support from DH.
There is a dedicated menopause on the Health section of MN. I've been reading it and been finding it helpful. It's not very busy but if you post on there Im sure you'll get some menopause specific help.
You say you have recently retired. During peri- and actual menopause, I think it's important for a woman's psyche to be doing something that feels she's making a contribution. as holyShmoley points out, volunteering or another job would help to boost your self esteem too.

Why did you retire, Lostmom? Do you think part of your depression is due to this?

DO you have grown up or almost growm up children? DO you feel less needed by them?

If you are fit and healthy (which you sound), you need some kind of challenges in your life, which, if you are around 50, will easily last another 30 years. It's up to you to find them.

I am a similar age, and while I find the loss of youth to be painful sometimes, I also feel wise, knowledgeable and powerful, and with the loss of all those pesky hormones, more like "myself" than I have since puberty.

It sounds like somwhere along the way you might have lost yourself.

Thanks for some good suggestions hoySmoly. DH enjoys his work and thinks I should as well. It is challenging to start again with retraining. My skills are not transferable. I know my life experience should count but there are a lot of talented young people to compete with in a limited job market.

You have hit the hot spots! I retired recently and would like to work part time in another field but not able to find an opportunity.

DD is 25 and I am proud of her but my role has changed.

I DO need a challenge but feel like an awkward adolescent. My friends are all younger and still raising teenagers. I am embarrassed to admit how stuck I am when I feel I should have all the answers at my age!

What is the new field you want to work in Lostmum? What are you doing in order to get a job in your field?

FWIW, I am trying to restart my previous career after the best part of two decades doing "mum jobs". This is in the face of comments from relatives and friends about it being time to slow down.

I am amassing examples of older people who are leading challenging lives. So far I've got:

David Attenburgh (In his late 80s)
Alastair Cooke (did Letter from America into his 90s)
Hilary Rodham Clinton (65ish)
Angela Merkel (57)
Christine Lagrande (also mid fifties)
Martin Sorrel chairman of WPP PLC (67)

I'm sure there are many more. Wer should think of this as a time of freedom and personal growth rather than decline.