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Original poster

Wet pants

71 replies

ineedamiracle · 17/07/2012 00:42

My OH is sleeping soundly next to me. His iPhone is on the charging unit next to him. A Facebook message just popped up on the screen "my pants are soaking thinking of you tonight".

Numb.

OP posts:
cocolepew · 17/07/2012 00:44

I'm so sorry , what a shock. Do you know who its from?

SPsFanjoLovesRussellHoward · 17/07/2012 00:50

Do you know the person who sent it?

Original poster
ineedamiracle · 17/07/2012 00:51

A woman he went to school with - she lives 250 miles away in his hometown. I knew she'd sent a couple of messages because I was holding both our phones in my hand last week as we were waving to his 12 year old son out of the window - I saw a conversation briefly, but it looked quite dull tbh so didn't read it all. This is a very different conversation now, starting with him wishing her happy birthday, then 5 or 6 messages from her. Apparently, she can't sleep tonight thinking about him.
I've looked at her page from my phone, I gather she has some alcohol issues and is looking for a new man.

OP posts:
BunnyLebowski · 17/07/2012 00:52

Oh good god you poor thing Sad

May I suggest a swift elbow jab to the ribs and asking him WTAF is going on??

Do you know the sender??

SPsFanjoLovesRussellHoward · 17/07/2012 00:53

I'd have replied letting her know the wrong person saw it but thats just me.

What are going to do?

cocolepew · 17/07/2012 00:54

Hmmm maybe theres nothing going on but shes pissed and chasing him? He obviously isnt trying to hide his phone from you. Wake him up and ask, dont stew.

lisaro · 17/07/2012 00:55

She sound like a mad bunny boiler. He's not hiding anything and you said she's got issues. Just feel sorry for the poor cow.

lia66 · 17/07/2012 00:56

Definately wake him up and ask him

BunnyLebowski · 17/07/2012 00:58

Oh ok. So it sounds like she's batshit crazy rather than that there's anything going on?

Definitely ask him about it though. For clarification and peace of mind.

SummerRain · 17/07/2012 01:01

Wake him and ask him. If he's like dp he won't be capable if lying if he's woken from a deep sleep.

Sounds like she's just a sad desperate drunk though.

Good luck

Original poster
ineedamiracle · 17/07/2012 01:03

Don't know what I should do - I did ask him about it last week (lighthearted) and he said she'd sent messages about another woman they went to school with and how they'd fallen out - it honestly did look that dull!
He's gonna know I've seen it - the little red flag icon is gone now because the message has been read. I thought about taking a photo of the page (just incase) but don't want to risk sneaking back round his side again.

Just jogged my memory - he had a very dirty message from her a couple of weeks ago (we both have our phones on the coffee table in the evenings). He said she's sent it be accident to the wrong person and replied saying that I wasn't very impressed...apparently, she apologised.

Very confused. According to both their pages, they only became friends on July 2nd, but that's not right as I've seen her name for years on his friends list - maybe they fell out once and made friends again?

OP posts:
SummerRain · 17/07/2012 01:08

WAKE HIM

Stop analysing and speak to him fgs. He knows you see his fb all the time. If he was having an affair don't you think he'd be damn sure to keep it off fb?

lovelydogs · 17/07/2012 01:13

I wouldn't wake him or mention it, just keep an eye on it. It doesn't sound like nything serious, if it was he wouldn't be leaving his phone around on the coffee table. She fancies him and he probably loves the attention. They were friends, you saw the last dirty message so he's unfriended her, but she's refriend requested him again on the 2nd which he's accepted.

Cynner · 17/07/2012 01:19

I would have to wake him..but then I am suspicious by nature. I would feel very alarmed if such a message flashed on my husband's phone. One oops dirty message..maybe..a second one commands a full investigation..

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 17/07/2012 01:19

I wouldn't wake him either. I would definitely go and get his phone though and go through it with a fine tooth comb. I know lots of people will say how terrible that is... I don't give a FF.

I have to say though, he's leaving his phone on the coffee table, not going into a panic when you are holding it, his phone isn't locked not to be able to see messages as they come through... I doubt he's misbehaving.

If you do discuss it with him, tell him that HE needs to tell her to fuck off and not say you are not happy.

Original poster
ineedamiracle · 17/07/2012 01:33

So - I woke him up with a cuddle. A very sleepy, grumpy "I don't care what she's sent - I'm ignoring her".
I want to believe him, we've been through a lot together (he's widowed and he had lots of cruel messages when we met - from fictional FB accounts and texts from other women who had never met me saying I'm only after him for sex (as if), was very traumatic).
He is also very aware of my exH's blatant affair which I discovered 5 years ago (we've been together nearly 3 years) so hope he wouldn't be so cruel.

Thankyou for all your messages - glad I'm not alone tonight (mn always there, although it was actually mn's fault I was still awake!)

OP posts:
Cynner · 17/07/2012 01:40

I am glad you woke him..why not send her a fuck off text? She can certainly be blocked from fb at the very least...xx

lisaro · 17/07/2012 01:41

He's not up to anything. Maybe she deactivated her account got a while while she had a victim to devour boyfriend. She sounds a totally mad/sad bitch. Speak to him about it though and maybe he will just drop her if they aren't actual friends any more.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 17/07/2012 01:43

Hopefully you can get some sleep now.

I would talk to him when he's properly awake though, see what's going on, see if she has been pestering him or what and find out what he intends to do about it as it's just not acceptable.

Original poster
ineedamiracle · 17/07/2012 08:39

Thanks for the support last night - I did get a few hours sleep. He's not mentioned it this morning, and I've been busy with the kids. She's still on his friends list, but I'm planning on talking to him about it later - I've already had one husband having an affair under my nose (denied it right up until the moment all his friends fessed up to me and he had nowhere to hide), so maybe ultra sensitive.
Hopefully, a better day today.

OP posts:
MadAboutHotChoc · 17/07/2012 08:49

It might not be an affair but there are alarms going off here - he seems to have the knack of having female friends who are in the habit of sending dirty texts.

Why is he still in contact with this woman?

Is he giving off signals that he is up for it to these women?

What are his boundaries like?

Sounds like he is in the habit of having his ego boosted via inappropriate attention from other women.

(and to the poster who thinks because its on FB, you would be surprised at how many people manage to conduct affairs on FB under their partner's nose)

MrsMangoBiscuit · 17/07/2012 08:54

I'd have been hard pressed not to text back and recommend that if that's her problem, she invests in some tena lady. I do hope everything turns out ok, OP.

NimpyWindowMash · 17/07/2012 08:57

If indeed he hasn't been messing around, then it sounds like he doesn't have good boundaries and is giving out some inviting/available signals to this woman.
Good luck.

PropositionJoe · 17/07/2012 09:01

It's not hard to block her on FB, is it. And you can block a number on most phones, though sometimes the texts just go into a kind of trash folder, so you can still read them if you want to.

MildredIsMyAlterEgo · 17/07/2012 09:05

at tena lady

You don't need this nonsense in your life. Get her blocked. I would be telling her to fuck off but that's me